Chapter 173

Because of You

I don't know how much time passes, but I know it's hours. The sun shifts through the window and I twist to lie on my back.

There's a lump in my throat, everything inside of me struggling to come out.

I sigh, and Zaid looks down at me, his fingers trailing down my arms. "Do you want to talk

about it?"

I swallow. "I'm not pregnant."

He frowns at that, breathing slowly to prepare himself. "Did you want to be?"

I shake my head. "No, I don't think so."

His fingers draw circles on my skin. "It makes you sad?"

I sigh. "She told me I could've been pregnant at one point. Something about my

hormones or something."

He pulls slightly away, looking down at me, eyes searching mine. "Love."

I don't want his pity, I just wanted someone to know, someone to be in the darkness with me. "I don't know how to feel about it." me.

He closes in on me, his hands finding their way under my shirt and around my waist. My stomach twists and I push at his chest. "Zaid, not know, I don't want to-"

"Fuck, Alina. I'm not trying to have sex with you."

I look up at him, new tears streaming down my cheeks. He looks pained, hurt, surprised

that I would assume that.

"I just want to hold you."

My skin breaks out into goosebumps, and I press into him. "I'm sorry, I just-"

nothing to apologize for. I can't even imagine. I'm

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Because of You

head. "I just, I feel stupid

"Why?"

I didn't want to be.

hold on me

scared me." The confession slides out of me smoothly. All

have nothing to be scared about. I'll be here, always,” he whispers, pressing

I blink at that.

with his next words. "I know it was impossible for the baby to have been mine, but

sob tears through me,

"You feel like a girl

I struggle to breathe.

have loved her so

keep my heart in check. "Well, she would

so that makes

trying to make that part

eyes, forcing me to understand how serious his next words are. "I don't give a fuck about that. Fuck Jake. Fuck Aiden, I would have loved her simply because

"Zaid-"

"Because I love you."

second, I think

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Because of You

and they melt into the air around

up. My breath

No. No, no, no.

do this. I can't hear this. I can't

my head, the walls closing in. "I

speak. I press my palm to my chest like

family was ripped from me. I loved them, and they were stolen from me. I can't love

thousand things he wants to say. Then, in a voice raw with emotion, he murmurs, "I don't need you to say it back. I don't need you to do anything. I just needed you to know that you are loved. Deeply, Alina. By me." The words crack something inside of me,

It's rage.

something sharp and painful twisting in my gut. "You can't

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