Chapter 250

On the envelope, in Zaid's handwriting, it says: Letter 1 of 365.

I blink. My heart hammers in my ears and I rip open the envelope, taking out the single piece of paper.

My love,

You're probably confused right now. Maybe a little mad. Maybe even ad. I'm sorry I didn't pick up when you called.

I need to give you space. I know I've said that so many times that you probably want to smack the words out of my mouth. But f want you to understand what I mean.

You need space. You deserve this. Every piece of it. You deserve to figure out who you are when you're not worried about me and what I'm doing and how I'm feeling.

I didn't answer when you called, not because I don't want to hear your voice, fuck, I'd kill to hear your voice right now. But because if I did, I would've begged you to stay.

I've had to keep my mouth shut the entire last week we spent together. I promised myself that I wouldn't ask you to stay. That I wouldn't be selfish when it comes to you.

I swore I would never love you selfishly.

Still, I know how hard it could be to be in a completely different country. I don't want you to feel alone, so I wrote your 365 letters. One for everyday you'll be gone.

Your aunt has graciously agreed to be my partner in crime and she has every single letter I have written for you. She has agreed to give you one every morning.

You don't have to read them all. But I hope you do. I hope each one becomes a small reminder for you when the world feels too heavy or too far from home.

That I love you and I am cheering you on from the other side of the world.

This is my way of being there without being there. This year is for you, my love.

Not for us. Not for me. Just you.

about me. I'll

need me, if it's truly too much to where not even my words

that? Focus on

chest when I think of you walking streets I'm not on, breathing

in detention, I

sitting there with those wide eyes and pursed lips, like you wanted to hide. Like you

did I

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Chapter 250

I had ever seen. I told myself 14 get you into my bed and get you out of my system. That's what I had always done up until then. That's what I knew. But then, saw the sadness in your eyes. The pain you

right then, I couldn't let

more I knew you

fast, too hard. I'll admit that. But loving you fast doesn't make it

everything I never let

at me, I can't breathe. I'd

why giving you this year is easy for

if one day you fall in love with someone else, I'll smile

your joy means more to me than

365 days, know that I'll be waiting. My soul

and brave and messy. Don't worry about what I would think, about what might make me jealous,

you were never given before you

be here. Every day. In every letter. Loving you in

Zaid

the time I reach the end of the letter. The pages are crumpled between my

press the letter to

shut.

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