Chapter 257

Chapter 257

My love,

I can't believe we're at letter 300 already. My hand is cramping and my handwriting has seen better days.

But all it does is just put everything into perspective. You'll be gone long time. Too long for my heart. I can't persuade it that I will be fine while you're in Florence.

Have I ever talked to you about my nightmares? I have nightmares sometimes. I guess you know that already, since they plague you,

too.

But I just want to tell you what they're about, Before I met you, mos nights, I dreamed about the accident. It was like I was trapped there, in that split second, forever. I hear my mom's voice warning me. I smell gasoline. I feel the crunch of metal all around me.

And the worst part? In the nightmare, I have time to move. Time to stop it. But I don't. I just hold on to the wheel, frozen. And she

dies because of it.

Because of me.

I know you know what that feels like, the smell, the guilt that doesn't make sense but clings to you anyway. Maybe that's why I recognized you before I even knew your name. Maybe pain knows pain.

When I met you, though, my nightmares changed. It wasn't about the crash anymore. It was about you. Nightmares where you

looked at me and saw everything broken inside me.

Nightmares where you turned away. Nightmares where I couldn't reach you no matter how hard I tried. Nightmares where you were the one in the car, beside

me.

Nightmares, terrible nightmares where lost you,

I woke up drenched in sweat, convinced I'd failed you somehow,

if that's all I was meant to do, to fail the people

by extension, I failed my father and

I would live the rest of my life alone, whispered

Christmas or whatever.

would

You leaned on me. You said you loved

About a little house with a white picket fence. About kids running

you even want kids? I hope you do. You'd make beautiful ones. If they look like you,

a messy table. Sitting next to you on the couch, our kids playing around us, but not bothering

at you

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Chapter 257

other like crazy. Fighting sometimes, because we're stubborn,

1. is.

can build a family that's different from the ones we came from. One where love isn't

where you belong, know that you are mine,

away.

Zaid

if they could carry his voice to

can't help the smile that blooms across my face. Kids with Zaid. Half him, half me. He thinks about it, like, really thinks about

from the little cafe table where I'm sitting. I've thought about it

want our kids to look like him. Dark eyes and messy hair. I want them to have his capacity to love and to be free in it. With

imagine Zaid, chasing after them, laughing in that way he used

me.

smiling like you've got a secret," Noah says from

head and look at him, deciding to pick his brain. "When are you

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