Shackled (The Lord Series) by Amy T

224. Rueben - Doubts V

I run my fingers through my hair. "She just confessed to killing Camila in cold blood."

"Rueben, I love you, man, but sometimes you can be so stupid."

What is that supposed to mean? I take a second or two to think. Maybe more. Until it dawned on me that Olivia was trying to provoke my anger.

I let out a big sigh. "That makes two of us." I pull out a cigar. "How things change in a couple of hours."

"Levi was right, you know. We should start getting our knees ready."

I take a few puffs from my cigar. "But we still don't know for sure what happened."

"Even if she fucked the entire country out of her own volition or if she killed countless innocent people, I don't care. Not anymore."

I want to call out Tyson on his bullshit, but then I see how he looks at Olivia. "You love her."

Tyson takes his time thinking and replying. Meanwhile, he tucks Olivia into bed and sits back at his desk. "My mother changed her boyfriends more often than her socks. I never understood what love was because I never received a hug or a kind word while growing up. Then, your mother had enough grace to take me in after I ran away from home and found my way to...you guys. She was the first person to hug me. Did you know that Camila was the first to tell me, 'I love you.' It took me a while to understand what love means. Do you remember our first Christmas together?"

"Don't you?"

Tyson laughs. "It was the first time I received gifts or celebrated Christmas. It was the first time when I realized what a true family means. And I wanted that for myself. I wanted someone to love me and only me. Now I see how selfish I was." Even after so many years of living together, there are still new things that I'm learning about Tyson.

Olivia. It took me a long time to realize that I do, but I don't know how to love her. What is true love? I don't have a fucking clue, but I'm determined

the same roof as us. Seeing how happy Ansel and Jasper were around her. How even Mose started being attentive to her." He frowns. "I didn't like when Jasper fucked her in front of us, making her wince in pain. It felt like he was raping her, you know. And then what do I do? Shove a gun in her mouth and a bottle up her ass because I was enraged at the thought that she would dare leave

let Tyson's words sink in

her. As soon as he holds her

man I turned into, either. I let my hate turn me into a...monster. But

beat the living shit out

Tyson says. "Do you think presenting her with their heads will be enough to

you'll have to chop off

"Yeah?"

accept that she

sighs. "Olivia is right. You are

Maybe.

light before getting in

as fuck," Tyson

sleep in my bed but Ansel trashed my entire room. He put horse dung all

bitterly. "And Jasper got rid of all my pets.

coward. Not because I didn't kill her but because I'm afraid of living.

comes, I'm still wide awake. When the hour for Ansel and I to go to

still not eating?"

or eat. Or see Ansel, Mose, or Jasper. She is slowly killing herself and no one knows how to help her. Fuck. I don't know how to help her.

at me with big, round eyes. "You said my