Shackled (The Lord Series) by Amy T

314. Olivia - Blood Lodge II

Tyson stares at me for a moment. "While this is not about me, I want you to know that I live in constant agony and fear that you will never truly forgive me. That you'll never love me again. I am sorry, Olly, for everything."

While his words are sincere, I feel angry. "You should be scared because I'll never let anyone in my heart again. You can fuck me and do whatever you want to me, but I'll never love *any* of you." I turn my attention to Mose. "Maybe I'll make an exception for you."

Mose flashes me a grin before smashing his lips against mine and kissing me roughly.

The bonds with Tyson and Ansel let me know how much my words hurt them, but I can't be as weak and stupid as I once was.

Tyson clears his throat. "Rueben is waiting for us."

Reluctantly, Mose breaks the kiss, and we get out of the car. Mose grabs my hand while Ansel and Tyson walk behind me. Rueben and Jasper are in front of the Blood Lodge. Rueben looks calmer now.

"Where are Rin and Steven?" Tyson asks.

Rueben jerks his head toward the entrance. "Already inside. We shouldn't waste any more time as we are late as it is," he mutters.

can suck it up for

nose, making my vision tunnel. This has never happened to me before, probably

turn to butter, and I feel like falling. One of the guys grabs me by the waist.

Tyson sounds so

he has so much power over my feelings. But moments like this make me wonder if I should risk it and let him regain my trust. He did shitty things to me only because he thought I cheated on him. I'm not making any excuses for him, but cheating is probably the biggest trigger Tyson has. If I had been more clear about what happened the night Jason let his friends abuse me, maybe Tyson would have believed me. But all these years, I felt as if I had cheated on him. Even now, I feel the same. Maybe if I had fought harder, or been smarter, or not gone with Camila to the party.... Perhaps then I would have had that life Tyson and I always dreamed of. The guys guide me around the Blood Lodge until we enter

They don't look scared or unhappy. Almost all of them have a smile on their lips. Those who are being fucked seem

a table with five empty armchairs around it. The guys

in the Celestial Heaven flood my mind. Coming here was a bad idea. There's no turning back now. I

lap. "If you

They might have tormented me and hurt me initially, but I prefer them over

They are my tormentors.

leg with his palm. "You are more important than anything that the old farts want to tell us. Besides, I already survived the

down there because he

broken wings come to my mind. Just because I could heal them once doesn't mean I can do it again.