Strings of Fate

62- Nightmares and numbness

Darrien looks so lost. I start laughing. Megan and Bellamy give near identical smirks.

make a

“My brother stole it to nest for Ry in his office. Apparently he needs supervision while he works now. Although I’m not sure why he bothered because she wasn’t sitting on the recliner when I found them.” Her tone is suggestive and makes the whole thing sound a lot worse than it was. Still, I can’t help the blush that burns across my face. Seriously, I need to find a way to stop that.

“I can go grab it.” Bellamy moves to stand but Darrien waves him back.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine here.” He drops to the floor and settles in place resting his back against the edge of Megan’s recliner. Not touching her, but definitely more of a casual placement than he would normally choose. Megan’s gaze darts to mine and I try to arrange my face in a way that appears encouraging. Bellamy settles back in beside me. He checks his phone.

“Food should arrive in about twenty minutes.” He informs us cheerfully. He subtly slides a little closer to me on the couch. Or maybe he’s not so subtle. Megan gives him a look of absolute disgust.

“Who are you and what have you done with my moody, grouchy brother? Ry, whatever drug you’re giving him you might want to reduce the dose. People are going to think he’s been body snatched.” She jokes.

“More like they’ll assume he’s getting some.” Darrien remarked quietly. I’m not even sure he even intended to say the words aloud because he actually looks a little alarmed at his own. comment. I glare at him while Megan nudges him with her knee and gives him a high–five. I turn to Bellamy intending to complain or suggest he retaliates in some way. Instead he gives. a bland expression and in a deadpan tone responds to the room.

“I should be so lucky.” Then he turns and winks at me. I slap his arm lightly and cover my face to hide my embarrassment as Megan and Darrien laugh.

“Bellamy!” He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me against him. I turn and hide

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how much embarrassment can one person live

at me. I suppose it is nice that he’s enjoying himself. Particularly since I want to keep things private. He’s just relaxed around the few people he

honest with.

about to ask if someone can drive me home when Megan flashes a look of desperation. I only see it for a moment before

over tonight? There’s no need for you to go all the way home. My bed has plenty of space for the two of us and you don’t have work until tomorrow afternoon.” I immediately agree. She jumps to her feet and offers to walk Darrien out. He goes along good naturedly and calls out that he will see us in the

a deep sigh and drops his head to

shoulder.

to go home?” I ask, a little confused. He sits up and shakes

thinking that with you in my sister’s room I’m going to have to sleep alone tonight. I was planning to drive

has got to be exaggerating right? This is still all

walks back in and stops in the

to. Bels I’ve never seen you so… clingy. I’ll be upstairs waiting for you Ry. I might pick

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62- Nightmares and numbness

remarks. I stand up to follow Megan upstairs but he grabs me by the hand to prevent me

all in the kitchen bin then he grabs my hand and we both head up the stairs. We

and nod before stepping into Megan’s room. He’s still standing there watching me as I close the door behind

puts it on then turns. out the lights. The volume is low and we both curl up in her big bed under the warm blankets. I am just on the edge of sleep when I hear Megan whimper quietly. I turn to face her. In the dim light of the television I can see that she is asleep but her eyebrows are furrowed and she has a frown on her face. She whimpers again and kicks the blankets away from herself, narrowly missing kicking me in the process. I reach out and shake her

her face against my stomach

sorry. I thought I could hold it together and when I’m awake I can hide it, shove it all into the back of my mind and focus on the moment, but

him, I loved him and I killed him. I know that he betrayed me and that he never really cared, but that just makes it worse. Why didn’t he care about me? I know I was going to leave him but I did love him, just not enough to marry him. Now I can’t stop seeing the look on his face, I can feel his blood running through my fingers. I, I had to scrub my nails to get the blood out from underneath them, you know? It dried under them. It know I shouldn’t feel bad, he was going to kill me. But I didn’t want to kill him, and for a few minutes I can convince myself that I don’t feel bad and that he deserved it, but then I feel even worse because what kind of monster kills someone and doesn’t feel bad about it? I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel