Chapter 12 Ava: Nightmares

Chapters 11-17 have been rewritten to improve story flow and pacing. [June 27, 2024]

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Strange dreams disturb my sleep these days.

It always starts the same; being pursued in a dark forest, not knowing what's hunting me. The panting, the crashing of underbrush, the chase.

Somehow the forest becomes mountains, and the mountains turn into the beach. Still I run, as fast as I can, with the threat of something at my heels.

It's daytime. It's night. There are people running with me, and I'm alone. It makes no sense at all, and yet it feels completely normal in the moment.

Then a wolf slipping out of the shadows to stare at me, with blue eyes and sparkling white fur, except for a patch of black at the end of her tail.

The dream always ends there, with me startled awake and staring at the ceiling through the dim light of my bedroom window, soaked in sweat and sore like I'd run a hundred miles, being chased by some monstrous beast.

Getting back to sleep after feels almost impossible as I toss and turn, and I show up to the Novel Grind every day feeling more exhausted than the day before.

The only new change to my life is the daily escape from Animal Control—that silver husky (who, we found out, is actually a girl) who always stops by to see me at the store, waiting patiently for an officer to get her and bring her back to safety.

Carlos jokes that I should keep her, since she seems to like me, but there's no way I can raise a pet. Not when there's a part of me always looking over my shoulder. A part of me waiting for the day I have to pack up and leave again.

By the third day of nightmares, I've developed a low-grade fever that seems to come and go, along with a slight cough. Nothing to keep me from working. It just leaves me miserable enough to think I might need some help getting rid of these nightmares.

If I can't get enough quality sleep, I'm going to end up really sick. A trip to urgent care is something I can't afford.

new life is expensive. There's a huge list of things on my need list, and not enough

drag myself out of bed with shivers wracking my body. Thermometers were listed on my want list, not my

makes my

I'm out of

head swims with every movement, especially when I lean down to fumble with my sneakers.

done, I'm a sweaty, trembling

from heel to

all I can do to keep putting one foot

my time here, who pass by with a smile and wave. I can barely muster the energy to nod in return, shuffling

but today it feels like an eternity. I

itch. My throat's raw from the hacking cough that's developed from needing to breathe

I finally stumble into the grocery store, I'm not sure I'll be able to make it back home.

is a blessed relief… but it also makes me shiver

dying is definitely not happening by the apples. I'll

a basket, I head for aisles by memory, shuffling my way through. I have to make smart choices. The basics are all I need today. A

are easy to carry and require

is a dilemma. Chicken noodle?

Not investing in a thermometer feels like a terrible oversight. It would

the doctor? Or sick enough to make

noodle. As I make my way towards the

but they're expensive. I settle for a small bottle of Tylenol instead, hoping it will be enough to get

she rings up my items. It takes me a second to realize

don't think I've ever seen

tired

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