Chapter 45 Ava: Clearminded

A week has passed since that first fateful night with Clayton, and the haze of my heat is finally fading.

Clayton rarely left my side, and every time I think of him, I blush. To go from a virgin with almost no experience to so many memories of his naked body over mine, his large hands rough on my skin, and the near-violent collision of our passion, over and over again…?

It's like a different world.

I can't help looking at men a little differently, with a little bit more suspicion. If someone as polite and gentlemanly as Clayton can have that side of him, aren't they all just brutal beasts in bed?

Well, your heat experience is a little unique, Selene says dryly.

Clayton's back with his pack today, doing alpha-things, I think. I'm not sure. He was gone when I woke up.

The nurses haven't discharged me yet, saying they just want to make sure I'm okay. I'm more than okay. I feel strong and refreshed. Even some of the scars all over my neck from failed claiming marks—so many failed attempts, because heat-Ava apparently really likes when he tries—are slowly fading from the first night.

They'll be gone in another week, Selene agrees.

It looks brutal, like I've been attacked by a wild animal. In a way, I guess I was—Clayton wasn't in his right mind, either—but claiming marks by nature have always healed quickly.

scars usually stay,

feel my heat is done, I feel embarrassed and guilty more than anything. I'm sure it must be awkward for Clayton, as

gives a little rumble of excitement. She's been hanging out near the hospital, frustrated because she

of us want to give up our secrets, so she stayed outside, parted from

me, frustrated as she, too, thinks about this

It's been rough.

The clasp had broken, and it didn't take long for my heat to

it out of her eventually. Right now, I'm just anxious to go home. I was given the option of using Clayton's phone to get in touch with anyone worried about me, but I don't

my information easily. If he knows my information, he can figure out what pack I'm from. If that

his pack first. I don't know what he would do if my pack

discharged, I plan to sneak back into obscurity. I don't want to take any

sigh. I want to go for a walk, but the nurses won't let me leave the isolation room for another day. Think

scoffs. Who knows. Who cares? He's just

isn't like she's wrong, but I can't help but think about him anyway. During my heat, that ever-present ache in my chest had disappeared… but it's back now, and filled with a decent amount of guilt over how I've spent

guilty about.

Also true.

But still.

of confidence. She has the same striking green eyes as Clayton, her chestnut

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