Chapter 74 Ava: Preparing for the Worst

The sun is beginning to set when a slight detour from the circular thoughts I've had about tonight finally occurs to me.

A weapon.

Who says I have to accept my fate without fighting? No one.

I can at least try to arm myself.

But with what?

I have knives in the kitchen, of course. I'll grab a couple. But they'll be too large to keep in my pockets. What else can I use?

I'd grab a rock, but I'm not even allowed in the yard to find one.

A pen? I can stab someone in the eye with a pen, so I grab a few of them and put them in either pocket. After some hesitation, I grab an old belt. I can try to swing it at someone and hit them with the buckle, right?

I put it on, without sliding it through any belt loops. The easier to get to, the better.

Desperation creeps in as I realize how ill-prepared I am. My gaze lands on a can of hairspray, and I snatch it up, tucking it into the depths of my backpack. Not ideal, but it's better than nothing.

as she sits in the living room and watches TV. Jessa's with her, doing something on

kitchen, I wrap up a couple knives with kitchen towels. A penlight in the everything drawer is my favorite find, and a small folding utility knife that probably belonged to Phoenix a long time ago. Those

disguise the knives

Of course, they don't.

behind me with a soft exhale of relief, I jump and almost spill my food when

my plate and knives down, I fumble to retrieve it,

swing by around midnight when everyone's

nausea washes over me as the reality of the situation sinks in. I'm really doing this—leaving everything behind on the mere promise of freedom. My fingers hover over the keypad, contemplating a response, but what is there to

as I sink onto the edge of my bed, burying my face in my hands. The weight of my decisions

and figure out the rest

gaze drifts to the backpack, now stuffed with the meager belongings I've managed to gather; I add

normally take a dog to make it to this territory, but I'm sure she's still far. We're over a thousand miles

beneath my fingers, never hearing her playful yips, is

body, and I glance towards the window, searching for any sign of what could be causing this uneasy feeling. The sky's color has deepened, the last vestiges of twilight having faded away. Trees sway gently in the evening breeze, in an illusion of a moment of peace

arms around myself, I turn away from the window, pacing. It's what I do best these days. My footsteps seem unnaturally loud

pale and drawn. Brushing my fingers over the crescent-shaped scar on my neck, I take

sudden vibration of the burner phone on my desk, the noise cutting through the heavy silence like a knife. Snatching it up, I read another message from Lisa, just asking

a quick GIF

a couple short

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