Chapter 126 Ava: A Subtle Switch

"Ava, I don't think this is a good idea." Lucas' voice is strained, and despite not knowing him well, I can imagine him pacing, his hands clenched in frustration.

"It doesn't matter, because I'm going." Thankful he can't see me, I cringe a little at how childish I sound. Standing up to myself is new, and every time I do, I feel like a rebellious teenager.

I never had a rebellious teenage stage, but I imagine this is how they sound. It reminds me of Jessa's whining, anyway. She always complained that Mom and Dad were ruining her life with their strict rules and demands that she stop dating whatever boy was the flavor of her week, saying she needed to be mindful of her future mate pairing.

Obviously she'd grown out of it at some point. Maybe it's my turn to sound like one.

"Ava…"

"No." I cut him off before he can start his arguments. Much like Kellan, he likes to throw logical connections in there that confuse me on how to respond without sounding like an irresponsible brat, and I don't like that. "I've been playing by your rules this entire time, and I'm tired of it. You have guards on us. Kellan's around. He sleeps in our apartment.

I have to beg for even an hour away from him. This life is unsustainable, and I refuse to live like this anymore. Either tell me I'm your prisoner, or give me some freedom."

While I'm not discounting my safety, I have a feeling that my family is nowhere near Westwood. The most logical thought process to have is that Alpha Renard would want to gain power to fight back, right? That's not going to happen in Westwood.

You must still be on guard, Selene whispers.

I know. But the danger isn't imminent.

Lucas sighs through the speaker, and I feel a little of the tension in my shoulders ease. He doesn't sound angry, just exhausted.

"I'm sorry, Ava. I never meant for you to feel like this."

The words it's fine want to come to my lips, but I can sense Lisa's dagger stare into the side of my face. Lucas is on speaker, in case I lose my nerve and need Lisa to step in.

When I glance at her, she mouths don't you DARE apologize, jabbing her finger between the phone and me.

Kellan's in the kitchen, probably listening to every word as he organizes the food he had delivered. Some pasta or something. It smells great.

"We just need to change things," I say instead of apologizing, hating how guilty that makes me feel. Apologizing to smooth things over is how my entire life has worked.

"I'll make it work," he says, and some of my tension eases when I realize he isn't upset that I haven't apologized. "I want you to be happy, Ava."

Lisa looks smug as she gives me a thumbs up.

I'm about to say I'm already happy, but shut my mouth before the words come out. I'm not happy. Yet another thing I need to unlearn; speaking untruths in hopes that it will help avoid bad feelings.

"I appreciate that," I say instead, remembering the phrases Lisa forced me to memorize a few days ago. All things to say in awkward moments instead of apologizing or downplaying my feelings. I appreciate that, I'm sorry you feel that way, I'll take that into consideration.

silent for a few beats. "I miss

Lisa arches her brows at me, but I have no idea what she means by the expression. "I miss you, too." It's true. I do. There's a huge part of me that craves his proximity, that wants him to come back

in my chest that wants to be

come back?" His overeager response has Lisa slapping both hands over her mouth,

will see me as anything other than his mate. I don't want that. I need to

how the sound of silence can change depending on

Lisa's bouncing in place, no doubt ready to explode with things

me than you, Ava. Your happiness.

phone and take it off speakerphone, giving her a stern look before fleeing to my room. She doesn't

the alpha, Lucas. You

tell by the sound of his voice that he's smiling. "My wolf would love

fine here. I'm getting stronger. Amara's great." Even though I'm not sure she likes me very much. "Lisa's doing good,

great to hear." There's a creak, and I find myself wondering if he's in his office chair, swaying from side to side. That's

not fighting me about the party, Lucas." I'm not sure if thanking him for doing

is broken. So maybe

motor of some sort. "You need to tell me what you're feeling. I know you don't

you as

my belly? It's like butterflies and something more. Something beyond

feeling flutters through me, and I pace, grinning like a loon. "I mean, I think I get it. It's

for the long haul." He grunts, and another weird sound comes through the

It sounds wet.

"Lucas, are you okay?"

Just working and

You must

never too busy for you. The entire world can

I know that

It's excitement.

We're flirting, aren't we?

I think we are.

in the middle of the

"Even then."

I call while you're in a business

"Then, too."

you're with another

Even if you believe nothing else,

soft

you jealous? There are no female shifters anywhere

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