Tangled in Moonlight: Unshifted (Ava and Lucas)

Chapter 194 Ava: Garden Visit

"Are you okay?"

Vanessa pops into my field of view with a steaming cup of what smells like hot chocolate.

Much better than coffee.

"I'm okay."

The steam from the mug assaults my face with humidity and heat, reminding me that summer is over.

The weather isn't chilly enough for hot cocoa to be a regular occurrence, and the wind is a little too warm against my skin, but the rich chocolate flavor that coats my tongue brings comfort.

It's a small thing, but it helps ground my racing thoughts as Vanessa settles beside me on the bench.

Out here, in the small garden behind the alpha lodge, there's only peace under the vast expanse of darkness and stars. Selene slumbers peacefully a few feet away, her silver fur almost glowing in the moonlight.

There are, of course, the ever-present guards stationed around us. Four of them, at least.

But at least they're giving me this time out here, instead of leaving me to my misery indoors.

"How are you holding up this week, Ava? Since we last talked… A lot seems to have changed. You look different. You sound different." Vanessa's gentle question pulls me from my thoughts.

Thinking about this past week is much better than thinking about Mom, and how quickly her life had slipped away in front of me.

I stare into the depths of my mug, as if the answers might be found swirling in the chocolate. "It's been hard," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. "Mostly, it feels like I'm stumbling in the dark, unsure of which direction to take. And I don't like the person I see in my memories. I've been cringing at a lot of things."

Vanessa's hand rests on my arm, a reassuring touch. "Don't overthink it. Trust in those around you. We're here to support you."

Her words are meant to comfort, but they remind me of the tensions within the pack. Another distraction I grab onto gratefully. "What about Jericho? Lucas and Kellan don't seem to listen to him much, even though they seem to respect him."

wolf shifters is their narrow-mindedness. It's a product

head, I try

pairing the word idiot

of the previous alpha's most trusted advisors end up retiring. New blood, loyal to

reels. "That explains a lot. I wondered why all my bodyguards were

a single one of them twitch at the compliment, even though I know they can hear every word

has been alpha for as long as I can remember, so

her knees. "Yes, well—in Jericho's case, he made some mistakes that led to the death of the previous alpha and his Luna. It's a stigma he's never been able to fully shake in Lucas' mind, even with

for a word to convey my thoughts

Absolutely

laugh and a gasp comes out of me as

there are

about Lucas

chin in her hand, she watches Selene, who's still sleeping. "They're used to it. I've said far worse to his

great way to respond to that, so I just say, "Oh," and stare at the sky again. "If that mistake changed how they think of Jericho, I'm never going to get the pack to see me

Wolves are used to pups making terrible mistakes. You aren't the first youngling with blood on your hands. Even in Jericho's day, there were idiot scuffles where

my abdomen, I refrain from pointing out that I'm twenty years old, not fifteen. But it gives me a

a pup, Selene whispers. Clearly,

your time feeling bad, wondering how to make things

not looking at me. She's just casually perched there, looking ahead of her, making

sorry for myself and start acting, but I don't…" Flapping my hands helplessly, I can't

know what to do to fix

"Yeah."

just have to move forward trying to make better choices than the day before. Apologize to those you've wronged. Take responsibility for your actions. And do your best

too simplistic of a world view after everything I've

"I'm trying."

"I know."