Chapter 313 Ava: What Do You Think I Should Do?

Grimoire's presence inside of me is unfazed after his revelations from the morning. I swear his book form even looks cheerful, sitting there on the table.

You seem worried, Selene says, sounding distracted.

"I am. I still don't agree with Grimoire."

About the summoning?

"Yes. Wouldn't you know if you were summoned?"

I suppose. Selene goes quiet for a bit, before asking, How does Lucas feel about it?

Lucas.

He's standing by the window, watching the light rain drizzle across our world. The soft patter of droplets on glass is the only sound outside of my voice. Sister Miriam and Vester left a while ago, leaving us to contemplate our next move. Lucas hasn't spoken since they departed, his thoughts as opaque as the cloudy sky outside.

"I don't know."

He seems ambivalent to the idea of summoning his wolf, but I can't blame him.

After dropping the bomb of Selene's alleged summoning—though she denies it—he did mention the possible negatives.

While Lucas would not lose his sense of self, he might lose his wolf. Like me, he would exist as a human. But unlike me, he wouldn't have magic to bridge that supernatural gap.

No healing. No strength. What would happen if he were challenged then?

Is it any better than now?

His wolf would be strong, but can an Alpha survive without his internal wolf? Would the pack accept that?

room in silence, I slip my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek against the broad expanse of his back. The steady thump of his heart echoes through

in the

hand covers mine where they rest on his stomach. His touch is warm, familiar, and yet so new. We stand like this as

uncertain. The warmth of his scent fills my lungs, surrounding me in assurance, soothing the anxiety beating in

silence, low and rumbling. I can feel the

before us are all shit, covered in more shit, until it becomes

the state of

it weren't

we'd have

we wouldn't be forced

so many

I admit softly. "There's so

fingers tighten slightly over mine.

soft sigh, with all the weight of the world in it, escapes

your sense of self… I worry that you would feel as if you were living half a life

know how it feels to be so

bond any normal shifter has with their wolf. Distance can create emptiness

she can die, and

wavers slightly. "And I worry about what that would mean for you as Alpha. Would the pack

I can sense him

him. "And selfishly, I miss you. The

"I feel that connection with you," he says softly. "Even without the memories, there's something right about

swells. "I feel

hands, his touch gentle. "But this isn't just about

nod, leaning into

you regret that we are not

But I can't imagine not being able

is the

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