Chapter 313 Ava: What Do You Think I Should Do?

Grimoire's presence inside of me is unfazed after his revelations from the morning. I swear his book form even looks cheerful, sitting there on the table.

You seem worried, Selene says, sounding distracted.

"I am. I still don't agree with Grimoire."

About the summoning?

"Yes. Wouldn't you know if you were summoned?"

I suppose. Selene goes quiet for a bit, before asking, How does Lucas feel about it?

Lucas.

He's standing by the window, watching the light rain drizzle across our world. The soft patter of droplets on glass is the only sound outside of my voice. Sister Miriam and Vester left a while ago, leaving us to contemplate our next move. Lucas hasn't spoken since they departed, his thoughts as opaque as the cloudy sky outside.

"I don't know."

He seems ambivalent to the idea of summoning his wolf, but I can't blame him.

After dropping the bomb of Selene's alleged summoning—though she denies it—he did mention the possible negatives.

While Lucas would not lose his sense of self, he might lose his wolf. Like me, he would exist as a human. But unlike me, he wouldn't have magic to bridge that supernatural gap.

No healing. No strength. What would happen if he were challenged then?

Is it any better than now?

His wolf would be strong, but can an Alpha survive without his internal wolf? Would the pack accept that?

slip my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek against the

in the

where they rest on his stomach. His touch is warm, familiar,

uncertain. The warmth of his scent fills my lungs, surrounding me in assurance, soothing the anxiety beating in

should do?" His voice breaks the silence, low and rumbling. I can feel the

are all shit, covered in more shit, until it

for the state of the

weren't

have more

be forced

so many

admit softly.

over mine. "Tell me what

sigh, with all the weight of

keep your sense of self… I worry that you would feel as if you were living half a life without

feels to

from the bond any normal shifter has with their wolf. Distance can create emptiness within our bond. And—scariest of all—I can die

can die, and I'll be alone

worry about what that would mean for you as Alpha. Would the pack accept a

I can sense him

shift, pressing closer to him. "And selfishly, I miss you. The you who

that connection with you," he says softly. "Even without the memories, there's something right about being with you. It's here." He taps his chest, then mine. "Something inside of

"I feel

cups my face in his hands, his touch gentle. "But this isn't just about us.

nod, leaning into

regret that we are not

But I can't imagine not being able to

the

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