Chapter 383 Lisa: Shutting Down

LISA

"Take a shower."

Kellan's soft words distract me from the darkness inside my head.

I don't even remember leaving Ava's place, but here we are. Home. His home, but also mine.

My fingers refuse to work. The zipper on my coat stays firmly in place despite my attempts to grip it. Everything feels distant, like I'm watching someone else's hands fail at this simple task.

"Here." His hands replace mine, steady and warm. Rough and calloused. Strong. Dependable. "Let me help."

The zipper slides down with a quiet hiss. He peels the coat from my shoulders, but it's warm in here; I don't need it. There's a fire going in the wood stove already. I'm not sure if someone kept it going for us while we were gone, or if they started it when we returned.

Dark stains splash against the brown fabric, mostly from behind. Mira's blood. The sight should make me react, should make me feel something. But there's nothing. Just emptiness. I'm exhausted; all my feelings have been felt.

"Arms up."

I comply without thinking, letting him pull off my sweater. Then the thermal shirt. Another sweater. The layers fall away one by one until I'm in just a thin long-sleeve shirt that clings to my skin, damp under the arms from sweating.

"Your pants are wet from the snow."

His voice stays gentle, clinical. Like he's talking to a spooked animal. Maybe he is. I stare at my snow pants, noticing more dark patches near the knees where I knelt beside...

I've already

You

Then the snow pants. Two pairs of thermal leggings. My movements are mechanical, automatic, following

they'll need to be burned. Can't wash out

room tilts slightly. Kellan's hand

"You'll feel better

enough in here. I don't

of it. But I stay silent, letting him guide me toward the bathroom. My feet move without my input, carrying me across the

flicks on. Steam rises from the shower—he must have started it while I undressed. The mirror

need help?" He

disconnected, like my body belongs to someone else.

be right outside if you need

against tile, filling the small space with white noise. I strip off my remaining clothes, slow and clumsy. Step under

runs pink for a moment as it washes away traces of blood I hadn't noticed on

over me, not really washing. Just... existing. The steam wraps around me like

me just

"Lisa?"

abruptly, letting in a rush of cool air. Kellan's broad frame

in here for

wracks my body. The water pelts my skin like

past me to shut off the water. "You're

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