Chapter 383 Lisa: Shutting Down

LISA

"Take a shower."

Kellan's soft words distract me from the darkness inside my head.

I don't even remember leaving Ava's place, but here we are. Home. His home, but also mine.

My fingers refuse to work. The zipper on my coat stays firmly in place despite my attempts to grip it. Everything feels distant, like I'm watching someone else's hands fail at this simple task.

"Here." His hands replace mine, steady and warm. Rough and calloused. Strong. Dependable. "Let me help."

The zipper slides down with a quiet hiss. He peels the coat from my shoulders, but it's warm in here; I don't need it. There's a fire going in the wood stove already. I'm not sure if someone kept it going for us while we were gone, or if they started it when we returned.

Dark stains splash against the brown fabric, mostly from behind. Mira's blood. The sight should make me react, should make me feel something. But there's nothing. Just emptiness. I'm exhausted; all my feelings have been felt.

"Arms up."

I comply without thinking, letting him pull off my sweater. Then the thermal shirt. Another sweater. The layers fall away one by one until I'm in just a thin long-sleeve shirt that clings to my skin, damp under the arms from sweating.

"Your pants are wet from the snow."

His voice stays gentle, clinical. Like he's talking to a spooked animal. Maybe he is. I stare at my snow pants, noticing more dark patches near the knees where I knelt beside...

Those thoughts lead to danger. I've already spent too much time down that

You

Then the snow pants. Two pairs of thermal leggings. My movements are mechanical, automatic, following Kellan's quiet instructions without really processing

Maybe they'll need

room tilts slightly. Kellan's hand steadies my

reminds me. "You'll feel

I? It feels warm enough in here. I don't

the other side of it. But I stay silent, letting him guide me

Steam rises from the shower—he must have started it while I undressed. The mirror shows a stranger's face, pale and blank-eyed. I don't recognize her.

He asks from the

my head. The motion feels disconnected, like my body belongs to someone

outside

drums against tile, filling the small space with white noise. I strip

penetrates the numbness, just barely. Water runs pink for a moment as it washes away

washing. Just... existing. The steam wraps around me like a blanket,

letting me just exist in the

"Lisa?"

a rush of cool air. Kellan's broad frame fills the space, cool air breezing

been in

my body. The water pelts my skin like

He reaches past me to shut off the water.

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