Chapter 383 Lisa: Shutting Down

LISA

"Take a shower."

Kellan's soft words distract me from the darkness inside my head.

I don't even remember leaving Ava's place, but here we are. Home. His home, but also mine.

My fingers refuse to work. The zipper on my coat stays firmly in place despite my attempts to grip it. Everything feels distant, like I'm watching someone else's hands fail at this simple task.

"Here." His hands replace mine, steady and warm. Rough and calloused. Strong. Dependable. "Let me help."

The zipper slides down with a quiet hiss. He peels the coat from my shoulders, but it's warm in here; I don't need it. There's a fire going in the wood stove already. I'm not sure if someone kept it going for us while we were gone, or if they started it when we returned.

Dark stains splash against the brown fabric, mostly from behind. Mira's blood. The sight should make me react, should make me feel something. But there's nothing. Just emptiness. I'm exhausted; all my feelings have been felt.

"Arms up."

I comply without thinking, letting him pull off my sweater. Then the thermal shirt. Another sweater. The layers fall away one by one until I'm in just a thin long-sleeve shirt that clings to my skin, damp under the arms from sweating.

"Your pants are wet from the snow."

His voice stays gentle, clinical. Like he's talking to a spooked animal. Maybe he is. I stare at my snow pants, noticing more dark patches near the knees where I knelt beside...

No. Those thoughts lead to danger. I've already spent too much time

Lisa. You need to

of thermal leggings. My movements are mechanical, automatic, following Kellan's quiet instructions

they'll need to be burned. Can't wash out

tilts slightly. Kellan's hand steadies my

me. "You'll feel better

I? It feels warm enough in here. I

the numbness feels safer than whatever waits on the other side of it. But I stay silent, letting him guide me toward the bathroom. My feet move without

shower—he must have started it while I undressed. The mirror shows a stranger's

help?" He asks from the

shake my head. The motion feels disconnected, like my body belongs to someone

be right outside

space with white noise. I strip off my remaining clothes, slow and clumsy. Step under

runs pink for a moment as it washes

there, letting the water pour over me, not really washing. Just... existing. The steam wraps around me like a blanket, and I float in the

off, letting me just exist in the

"Lisa?"

a rush of cool air. Kellan's broad frame fills the space, cool air breezing against

in here for twenty

shiver wracks my body. The water pelts my skin like needles of ice. When did it get

past me to shut off the

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