Chapter 176

I haven't seen Knox in a long time and I'm glad that he is here. miss spending my time with him and lately, he has been busy with the football season like every other player. I thought about visiting him in Colorado, but I know how full his schedule is, and he needs the few days he gets off to prepare for his wedding. I can't just take him away from Sabrina on those days. I remember how busy I was when I was preparing for my wedding with Rosie while being in the middle of the football season.

We're going to a pub where we're meeting our friends and I'm pretty excited. All my friends are football players and they're very busy with the season, so managing to go out with some of them in their free time is a great opportunity I don't want to miss. If I were playing during this season, I wouldn't feel lonely.

It turns out that beside spending time with Rosie and playing football, I don't have a life, so losing football even if this loss is temporary has a deep impact on me. I'm not proud that I find solace in getting drunk, but I'm trying to detach myself from reality as much as possible. I understand that what I'm doing is far from healthy, but right now, this is the only effective painkiller.

"For the first time in a long while, you're not the designated driver," Knox points out and I chuckle. It's funny how I used to be the designated driver, because I didn't enjoy getting drunk, but now I'm the one who gets wasted.

"I get to drink as much as I want!" I exclaim as we both walk inside the pub.

B

"Yeah, but don't go overboard. We're supposed to spend the night with Rosie and Sabrina. They're going to kill us if we get to your place all drunk and wasted," he reminds me.

Ithink Rosie is starting to get used to seeing me drunk. I'm certain that she's not fond of that version of me, but there's nothing she can do. Even if she hides all the liquor in the house, I can easily buy other bottles. I see the way she looks at me when I get drunk and I hate the look of disappointment I always catch in her eyes, but currently, this is how I cope. At least, this is better than getting addicted to drugs.

We spend three hours at the bar and while Knox only drinks a pint of beer, I end up drinking three. When I go to order whiskey, Knox stops me, making me look at him in confusion.

"You're the designated driver, remember?" I remind him, nodding at the bartender to get me the glass of whiskey.

giving me a fair share of looks of disapproval. I don't need more from Knox. "Knox, I want to have fun. Don't be a party pooper," I say and chug the whiskey placed in

away from the bar, causing me to wince due to the way I suddenly move my knee. He stops and gives me an apologetic look as he says, "Sorry, man." I nod, not saying

have a drinking problem, Silas?"

a drinking problem, but he doesn't have to know about

I only want the best for you, so I'm only saying this because

fine, Knox. I don't need help." It's funny how everyone is giving me pieces of advice as if they were in my shoes. Nobody understands what I'm going through. They don't know how painful the void I'm feeling is. They don't know what it feels like to wake up one day and find out you've been deprived of doing something you love for

"You're not the same person you used to be.

I had a whole team depending on me because I was the king of touchdowns, but right now, I'm nothing. I can't even stand for long because of my fucking knee. I can't drive because I need to keep it stretched. Fortunately, I can now walk around with the cane, but I still have a limp that is gradually disappearing. Talking with Knox reawakes all the dark thoughts I tried to suppress by drinking at the pub, so the moment I walk inside the house, I make my way to the kitchen

to the no." Knox snatches it from my grip the moment he

wrong with you?!" I shout, trying

my

hand.

me? What the hell is wrong with you? You're the one who doesn't seem to get

that!" I argue with him. Sadly, this is the last bottle I have, so I can't go to the

my attention. Has she just arrived? Has she been in the

As expected, she looks at me like she doesn't know who I am. Honestly, I don't blame her. I know I'm not the man she married, but I don't think I can go back to the man she

side with Knox. She hates how much I drink. We

tell me what to do and what not to do, Rosie." Despite the shooting pain in my knee, I

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