The Alpha Chose Me by Missy Elliottxo

I didn't want to get up. I could hear the shower running so I knew Jake was awake. I didn't get to sleep till late because my mind wouldn't shut off. I had all the time in the world to think.

No distractions. Nothing to focus on other than my thoughts. Everything running around in my head over and over again.

Could I have done something different? Was I to blame for the loss of our child?

I woke up sad, I already knew today wasn't going to be a good day. I didn't want to be sad, I wanted to push past this and move on, but I couldn't. I couldn't stop the guilt. The constant reminder that I wasn't pregnant anymore.

"Morning baby. I made you coffee". He nodded towards my bedside drawer.

There he was. Wet from the shower, a towel hung around his waist. He only wanted to be there for me, to look after me and yet every fiber in my body wanted to push him away.

the only way through. But I promised I wouldn't shut him out. I promised myself I'd lean

yet I still wanted to do it

"Leah are you okay?".

"I want to push you away so bad and deal with this on my

bed. "It's okay to feel sad, it's okay to cry, to be angry, to scream through the pain. But I won't sit back and let you go through

go out for breakfast with my friends. I wanted today to be the start of something fresh. I would never forget but a line had to be drawn so I could move on and yet I couldn't get

wasn't

have to happen to

don't have an answer