The Alpha Chose Me by Missy Elliottxo

I didn't want to get up. I could hear the shower running so I knew Jake was awake. I didn't get to sleep till late because my mind wouldn't shut off. I had all the time in the world to think.

No distractions. Nothing to focus on other than my thoughts. Everything running around in my head over and over again.

Could I have done something different? Was I to blame for the loss of our child?

I woke up sad, I already knew today wasn't going to be a good day. I didn't want to be sad, I wanted to push past this and move on, but I couldn't. I couldn't stop the guilt. The constant reminder that I wasn't pregnant anymore.

"Morning baby. I made you coffee". He nodded towards my bedside drawer.

There he was. Wet from the shower, a towel hung around his waist. He only wanted to be there for me, to look after me and yet every fiber in my body wanted to push him away.

I promised myself I'd lean on him whenever I needed to. I know

I still wanted to do

"Leah are you okay?".

push you away so

okay to cry, to be angry, to scream through the pain. But I won't sit back and let you go through this on your

friends. I wanted today to be the start of something fresh. I would never forget

wasn't

it have to happen to me, to us?". I

don't have