189 The truth of her birth III Miriam .

Its been two weeks since I came back to the Moon Temple with an empty womb and a heart heavier than Id ever known .

The stillness of the temple at all times which used to ground me in such a way I couldnt understand , broken occasionally only by the soft rustling of robes or the distant chant of prayers had now become a prison to me .

I was the secret , trapped in a prison and the only people who knew were my wet pillow each night and my conscience .

I couldnt believe I was a mom well a half mom actually but that experience changed my life in ways I never expected .

Each day felt heavier than the last my belly was still round and protruded .

I was still too tired from carrying another human for nine months and still forced to get on with my life like nothing just happened .

Of course , no one noticed since I returned in Spring and we were always at our busiest at this time of the year because a lot of special flowers , herbs and seeds are found at this time .

I simply went out of my way and kept myself away from unnecessary interactions .

Except for Terra my bosom friend , Mother Liora and the other priestesses who were Mother Lioras closest friends no one else knew .

For instance , at the morning Assembly today when I was asked to lead the e prayers , had recited a ritual prayer instead of the prayers designed to kickstart our day .

Superior Priestess Dianas eyes had narrowed on me as she assessed me from head to toe .

Miriam , she called out coldly .

You look … different .

Sluggish in your movements , forgetful and fat .

Is there something you wish to share ? My breath caught in my throat , my heart pounding in panic as I tugged at my uniform , stretching the already stretched fabric .

The pregnancy had made me add a lot of weight on my hips and chest .

Although the midwife had prepared a special routine for me to follow to lose the baby fat , she had told me it was a gradual process .

Everyone was staring at me in the hall , especially Jemimah who had a smirk on her face .

Miriam ? she called out impatiently again .

15 189 The truth of her birth Im sorry , Mother ! I muttered .

I didnt ask for an apology , she responded , her voice was filled with frustration .

T simply want an explanation as to why youre looking out of place from all the girls in the temple .

Your uniform is too tight , your face is round and are those dark circles I see around your your eyes ? I opened my mouth , looking for an explanation but no words came out .

Before the silence could become suspicious , Mother Liora intervened .

The little self discovery trip I sent her on must have been harder on her than I thought , she said giving me a reassuring glance .

Its not uncommon for children to go outside this pack and come back looking the same .

Think of all the overly processed food and all … Mother Liora said .

of agreement and the conversation turned to something else but I felt Priestess

lay on my bed staring

but my

my muscles still ached with the

my

that followed , I was living in hell

were the cruellest

up and my hands would instinctively move to cradle the bump that was

I bend to pick something up

like how it

painfully and hard

had given me to stop it

to hide the milk stain and for

would be unbearable and I would have to

became an expert at hiding my tears and my pain

myself under the pretence of needing solitude for prayer , only to sit in the corner of my small room , rocking

contractions were the worst

and I would gnash my teeth , clamping down on it waiting for the moment to

, I

her birth !!! 10 when the sound of a crying baby filled my ears

filled with desperation

, searching the

met Priestess Tania

must

wrong with you dear ? Its after lights

are you doing walking about ? My baby ! I murmured , trying to move away from

I need

sideways to make

dragged me to my room and a moment later , she came

endless cries that were ringing

, I saw Mother Liora sitting at the edge of my

! I murmured pushing myself up

she asked me , touching my forehead

fine ! I nodded giving her

are you doing here ? She avoided

guilty but if you keep this up , everything will be exposed

to the excuses I

like for it not

I do again , mother ? You were roaming the hallway last

was priestess

taking the medications the midwife recommended

must try ,

that I cannot understand how it is with you but you have duties that

distracted for too long and Im not sure how long we

already … please , Miriam … I lowered my gaze , Im sorry , Mother

Ill do better .

placing a hand

great deal ,

I understand that .

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