The Alpha’s Fated Outcast: Rise Of The Moonsinger

189 The truth of her birth III Miriam .

Its been two weeks since I came back to the Moon Temple with an empty womb and a heart heavier than Id ever known .

The stillness of the temple at all times which used to ground me in such a way I couldnt understand , broken occasionally only by the soft rustling of robes or the distant chant of prayers had now become a prison to me .

I was the secret , trapped in a prison and the only people who knew were my wet pillow each night and my conscience .

I couldnt believe I was a mom well a half mom actually but that experience changed my life in ways I never expected .

Each day felt heavier than the last my belly was still round and protruded .

I was still too tired from carrying another human for nine months and still forced to get on with my life like nothing just happened .

Of course , no one noticed since I returned in Spring and we were always at our busiest at this time of the year because a lot of special flowers , herbs and seeds are found at this time .

I simply went out of my way and kept myself away from unnecessary interactions .

Except for Terra my bosom friend , Mother Liora and the other priestesses who were Mother Lioras closest friends no one else knew .

For instance , at the morning Assembly today when I was asked to lead the e prayers , had recited a ritual prayer instead of the prayers designed to kickstart our day .

Superior Priestess Dianas eyes had narrowed on me as she assessed me from head to toe .

Miriam , she called out coldly .

You look … different .

Sluggish in your movements , forgetful and fat .

Is there something you wish to share ? My breath caught in my throat , my heart pounding in panic as I tugged at my uniform , stretching the already stretched fabric .

The pregnancy had made me add a lot of weight on my hips and chest .

Although the midwife had prepared a special routine for me to follow to lose the baby fat , she had told me it was a gradual process .

Everyone was staring at me in the hall , especially Jemimah who had a smirk on her face .

Miriam ? she called out impatiently again .

15 189 The truth of her birth Im sorry , Mother ! I muttered .

I didnt ask for an apology , she responded , her voice was filled with frustration .

T simply want an explanation as to why youre looking out of place from all the girls in the temple .

Your uniform is too tight , your face is round and are those dark circles I see around your your eyes ? I opened my mouth , looking for an explanation but no words came out .

Before the silence could become suspicious , Mother Liora intervened .

The little self discovery trip I sent her on must have been harder on her than I thought , she said giving me a reassuring glance .

Its not uncommon for children to go outside this pack and come back looking the same .

Think of all the overly processed food and all … Mother Liora said .

turned to something else but I felt Priestess

, I lay on my bed staring at

wasnt inside me anymore , but my body hadnt accepted that

soft and rounded and my muscles still ached with the strain of carrying a child that was no longer there

clutching my

that followed , I

the cruellest

my hands would instinctively move to cradle the bump that was no

when I bend to pick something up

myself dropping to my knees first just like how it had done when I was

swollen painfully and hard as stone and

herbs the midwife had given me to

my breast with several clothes to hide the milk stain and for the entire day , I would be conscious of myself

pain would be unbearable and I would have to sneak back

an expert at hiding my

under the pretence of needing solitude for prayer , only to sit in the corner of my small room , rocking myself and sobbing into

were

I would gnash my teeth

, I started hearing baby cries

when the sound of a crying baby filled

was filled with

stumbled out of my room , searching the

, I met Priestess

; she must have seen the wild desperation

wrong with you dear ? Its after lights out

about ? My baby ! I murmured , trying to move

need to get to

make sure

my room and a moment later , she came back with Mother

heart and the endless cries that were ringing in my ears until I eventually drifted into

the next morning , I saw Mother Liora sitting at

murmured pushing myself

you feel ? she asked me

giving her

here ?

suffering Miriam , and you feel guilty but if you keep this up , everything will be

excuses I can give for

right and I would like for it not to go beyond that ? I drew my knees

? You were roaming the hallway last

it was priestess

the midwife recommended

must try ,

with you but you have duties that

too long and Im not

already … please , Miriam … I lowered my gaze ,

Ill do better .

, placing a hand on my trembling fingers

great deal

I understand that .