The Alpha’s Fight for His Omega by Jess K

Chapter 52

***Chastity***

When I woke up the next morning I was exhausted. I hadn’t slept well at all. I didn’t have nightmares, I just didn’t sleep well. I was also very depressed. The thought of pushing Rowen and Lexi together had plagued my mind all night. He would be better off matched with her. I didn’t understand why the Moon Goddess would punish him by leaving him stuck with me.

“He is not stuck with you Chastity. We are perfect for our mate.” Leila growled at me.

“But….” I started.

“No. Enough! He is ours Chastity! He loves us! Lexi is NOT right for him. We are! We always have been. Besides Lexi is our friend. She would never take our mate from us. She would be mad if we tried to give

him to her.”

“But she is. She already knows how to be a good Luna. She understands him, and his responsibilities. She is prettier, and more poised than I am. She’s not broken.”

“Chastity, you’re so wrong. Does she know those things? Yes. But it doesn’t make her right for him. We are right for him.”

“But. He’ll be better off. I should just reject him, and let him be with Lexi or someone like her.” 1

“NO! Absolutely not Chastity! I have supported everything you have done, every choice you have made, but I will NOT support that. Now or ever! He is ours, and we are his! If you even TRY to reject him I will take over, and stay in control until he marks us. I won’t let you do that to us. Mate loves us, and wants us. You need to accept that, accept him. His right for us, and we are right for him. Maybe you don’t believe it now, but some day you will.” 1

“But Leila….”

“NO! ENOUGH! You are not going to reject him, and you will not push him to our friend. She wouldn’t take him even if you tried. Now stop. Doctor is waiting for us. You need to tell her about yesterday, and this conversation. She needs to know so she can help you.”

“But…”

“NO!”

For the first time ever Leila blocked me out. In all our years together she had never done that. I didn’t understand why she was so against letting Rowen free from me. He deserved to be happy, and with someone better than me. He could never be happy with me long term. I didn’t understand why she

couldn’t see that.

With a sigh I picked up Lilac to put her harness on. She glared at me the whole time I struggled to get it. on her then rolled, and wiggled once I put it in her. After she finished with her dramatics I clipped the leash on her, picked her up, and carried her out of my room. She instantly climbed on my shoulder, and sat there the whole walk to my appointment with Dee-Dee.

I really didn’t want to see her, or anyone for that matter. It’s why I didn’t go down to breakfast either. I hadn’t wanted to talk to Norm or Lexi. Especially not Lexi. I wasn’t sure how I was going to tell her about me rejecting Rowen, and wanting them to be together. They were bettered suited for each other. I just wasn’t ready to talk to her about it.

For the first time in my life I was almost late to something. I drug my feet as I walked into Dee-Dee’s office. She was already sitting on the bean bag chair across from my usual spot. She smiled at me, and I

tried to do the same. I just wasn’t feeling it. I took Lilac off my shoulder, and sat. Dee-Dee stood up. closed the office door then took off Lilac’s leash. The kitten tried to get into my lap, but I pulled my knees to my chest, and buried my head in them. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to be left alone. Lilac didn’t quite get the message though because she started climbing on me. I tried to shake her off, but she wouldn’t stop.

“She knows you need her Chastity. She’s not going to leave your side right now.” Dee-Dee said gently.

I finally stopped trying to push Lilac away. She managed to get under my shirt, against my side. It tickled when her fur brushed me. Then she settled, and began to purr softly.

“Bad day today, Chastity?” Dee-Dee asked quietly, and I just shrugged..

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shrugged again.

“Ok. We’ll just sit here until you feel like talking.”

I nodded.

We sat there in silence for a long time. I didn’t want to talk at first, then I didn’t know what to say or how to start. I had so much running through my mind. Then I remembered Rowen saying I should tell Dee-Dee about yesterday.

“I froze up in self defense class, then curled into a ball on the floor, shaking and crying. I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t move.” I said quietly.

“What happened?” Dee-Dee asked.

“I heard a noise, and I got scared.”

“So you had a panic attack?”

“I don’t know.”

“What was the sound?”

“It sounded like a whip.”

“How did you calm down from your panic attack?”

“L…Lexi carried me out of the gym, and too my bedroom.”

“What did you do once you were in

your room?”

“Nothing.”

“What did Lexi, and Norm do?”

“Lexi….she called Rowen when he is busy. She pulled him from his important work. He has things to do. Responsibilities, and she called him to deal with the broken little Omega. She made an Alpha stop what he was doing to help a nobody.”

“How did Rowen react when she called him? Did he help?”

“Yes.” I whispered.

“Did he seem upset about it?” Dee-Dee asked gently.

“No.” I answered quietly.

“Did he talk to you during, and after your panic attack?” She questioned.

“Yes.” I said.

he help calm you down from the

“Yes.” I whined.

good thing. That’s what mates do for each other

have to do those things for me. He

BECAUSE I AM BROKEN AND CANNOT DEAL WITH LIFE! I CANNOT BE WHAT HE NEEDS! I’LL NEVER BE A GOOD LUNA! I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING FOR HIM! HE DESERVES BETTER! SOMEONE WHO WILL MAKE HIM HAPPY! SOMEONE WHO WILL HELP HIM BE THE ALPHA HE IS MEANT TO BE! SOMEONE WHO WON’T MAKE HIM WAIT BECAUSE SHE IS BROKEN! HE DESERVES SOMEONE WHO IS HIS MATCH IN EVERYTHING! I’M A NOBODY! I’M NOTHING! HE DOESN’T DESERVE A NOTHING! HE DOESN’T DESERVE A NOBODY! HE DOESN’T DESERVE A WORTHLESS DISGUSTING OMEGA WHO SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN! HE DOESN’T DESERVE TO BE STUCK WITH SOMEONE WHO SHOULD HAVE DIED WITH HER MOM FIFTEEN YEARS AGO! WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY SEE THAT? WHY CAN NO ONE UNDERSTAND HE MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE WHEN HE REJECTED ME? WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THE TRUTH? HE NEEDS TO FIND A REAL MATE! NOT A DAMAGED, WORTHLESS, DISGUST THING LIKE ME!” I screamed as I

no one saw what I did. Why couldn’t HE see what I did? He had to. It would be better for him

or all of those others that said those things to you, talking?” Dee-Dee asked

I

it just what you’ve been told by others?” Dee-Dee asked again as she looked me straight in

matter who said it first? It’s the truth.” I

Is

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why is it true?”

have been loved by my family. I would have had friends. I wouldn’t have

you really think those things about yourself why are you

“What?”

those things you wouldn’t have worked so hard to get here. You wouldn’t be here right now, attending this school, if you really believed those things. So I will ask you again, is that you speaking or is it everyone else who has

“1….”

things why didn’t you accept Rowen’s rejection? Why didn’t you instantly reject him

He deserves better than me. He deserves someone like Lexi, or any other high rank she-wolf out there.

think he’ll

he’s too good for me. He knows

did he come see you last weekend? Why has he done any of the

now, eventually he’ll reject me any way. At least if I reject him he has a chance at a

he wants

not? I’m nothing! I’m

he doesn’t agree with

“He will.”

you sure about

says he won’t accept it if I reject him, but just like everyone else, eventually he will. Eventually he’ll see that I’m not worth it. He’ll turn

think of you

that I’m right, or she’ll leave too. She’s better off without me

“You really believe that?”

“Yes.”

lived in the pack. house. Your teachers, nurses at your pack hospital, midwife Wanda, your family, your friends. All of them see you as worth so much. Lexi, Norm, and Marcus see you as worth so much. Rowen sees you as everything. Your wolf loves you, and she only

“Sure. Why not?”

is the

“Lexi?”

in my office first thing this morning, before I even got here, waiting for me. She wanted to talk to me about

“Me?”

but she does know you come to see me several times a week. She asked me how she can help you. What she can do to help you heal. How she

Beta’s son Derek, her brother, and Marcus. Females were jealous of her for being friends with all of them so most of them kept away. When Anthony did what he did to her, she

only been a little under two weeks since you two met, but you mean the world to her. In her eyes you are worth more than even she is.

so

you. She sees in

“What’s that?”

the world. Someone who had a rough start, but never let that stop her from trying to achieve her dream. Who kept a brave face through everything she was experiencing. Who shared warmth, and caring even though she wasn’t receiving any. Someone with a good enough heart to

to me? Why did they hurt me? Why did they reject

of that was true, why had my life been riddled with pain for so long. Why had I

I have read, and heard. Know that I have heard the trail recordings. As well as the recordings from Aurora’s execution, and Dimitri’s recording from his last conversation with Aurora. I have also spoken to Dimitri extensively. Rowen a bit too. I hope you don’t mind. I needed a

Lilac, and held her too my chest. She didn’t fight me on it, just licked the underside of my chin, and purred. I heard Dee-Dee come closer to me, and sit in

that. Braxton was manipulated, badly, and used as a tool. He was young, and impressionable to his mother’s whims, as most pups are. I know you know he regrets his wrongs. Naomi was also very easily manipulated due to her own short- comings. Luna Jane didn’t reject her as a friend in any way, but Naomi was lead astray so many times. Luna Jane had trouble keeping her close. Naomi tends

was trying to make his mother happy, and earn the approval she never gave him, while also trying to keep Dimitri’s example to make him proud of him too. To gain his approval. Unfortunately for Colby he was kind of the odd man out. Aurora even told him that he was just her spare if she needed him. Colby didn’t fit into exactly what Aurora wanted, and he wasn’t happy with the mold he thought Dimitri wanted him in so he was floundering, and confused himself. It was easier for him to just ignore you than

of you. He believed that Dimitri had put you in charge of the care of them, and the pack house. He didn’t acknowledge what he saw in any form of abuse because he didn’t want to believe any one in his pack would harm another. Gamma Peter was

If they could change it they would. Gamma Ross distanced himself from

them. After hearing about what has happened to you, on a smaller scale, I truly believe that Aurora had serious mental health problems, that while rare in wolves, do happen. I believe she had started out as just wanting more for herself than what she had as a pup, and upon getting it, it tainted her mental stability in ways that you suffered

care.

instability was bred into Fiona through constant reminders, and promises, despite being empty. Do I believe Fiona suffers from the same mental instability Aurora does? No. I believe she is the result of that mental instability being used in a way that manipulated another. In Braxton’s case it’s different because he had Dimitri, Jax, and Colby to show a different example. Fiona did not have that because Aurora did what she could to keep her way from them. She risked her best pawn being given a different way to see

a choice with no real information. One that was not taught to him, just something he assumed, and believed. He realized his mistake quickly. He discovered his beliefs were completely wrong, and has been trying

wronged you badly. There was never anything wrong with you. It was them that were the

“But….”

Chastity you are not the problem. You never were. I know it’s hard to believe, and it’s hard to change a line of thinking that has been beaten into you,

How do I

your already have. One that wants to be there for you, and help you in everyway they can. It also is going to

too.”

are you

attack, and

into one of his sweatshirts, and video called me to talk to me, and calm me down. He stayed on the video call until I fell asleep last night. He shouldn’t have done that though. He had work to do, and responsibilities. He was

cares about you Chastity. He did that because YOU are the most important

“But I shouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because he deserves better.”

He deserves you. The sweet, caring, loving, kind, intelligent, beautiful person you are. He sees you for you who you really are inside, not the bruised, battered shell on the outside. He

good for him.”

“But….”

who you are. You are so much more than that. Rowen, he sees that, and he will do everything he needs to do to help you get

you.”

Moon Goddess had to have

humble, kind, and observant. She knew you needed each other so she paired you. She made the right choice. It may take you time to see it, but eventually you will. If you reject him you will regret it later. I know

L

“\….

ask you

“OK.”