The Alpha’s Fight for His Omega by Jess K

Chapter 52

***Chastity***

When I woke up the next morning I was exhausted. I hadn’t slept well at all. I didn’t have nightmares, I just didn’t sleep well. I was also very depressed. The thought of pushing Rowen and Lexi together had plagued my mind all night. He would be better off matched with her. I didn’t understand why the Moon Goddess would punish him by leaving him stuck with me.

“He is not stuck with you Chastity. We are perfect for our mate.” Leila growled at me.

“But….” I started.

“No. Enough! He is ours Chastity! He loves us! Lexi is NOT right for him. We are! We always have been. Besides Lexi is our friend. She would never take our mate from us. She would be mad if we tried to give

him to her.”

“But she is. She already knows how to be a good Luna. She understands him, and his responsibilities. She is prettier, and more poised than I am. She’s not broken.”

“Chastity, you’re so wrong. Does she know those things? Yes. But it doesn’t make her right for him. We are right for him.”

“But. He’ll be better off. I should just reject him, and let him be with Lexi or someone like her.” 1

“NO! Absolutely not Chastity! I have supported everything you have done, every choice you have made, but I will NOT support that. Now or ever! He is ours, and we are his! If you even TRY to reject him I will take over, and stay in control until he marks us. I won’t let you do that to us. Mate loves us, and wants us. You need to accept that, accept him. His right for us, and we are right for him. Maybe you don’t believe it now, but some day you will.” 1

“But Leila….”

“NO! ENOUGH! You are not going to reject him, and you will not push him to our friend. She wouldn’t take him even if you tried. Now stop. Doctor is waiting for us. You need to tell her about yesterday, and this conversation. She needs to know so she can help you.”

“But…”

“NO!”

For the first time ever Leila blocked me out. In all our years together she had never done that. I didn’t understand why she was so against letting Rowen free from me. He deserved to be happy, and with someone better than me. He could never be happy with me long term. I didn’t understand why she

couldn’t see that.

With a sigh I picked up Lilac to put her harness on. She glared at me the whole time I struggled to get it. on her then rolled, and wiggled once I put it in her. After she finished with her dramatics I clipped the leash on her, picked her up, and carried her out of my room. She instantly climbed on my shoulder, and sat there the whole walk to my appointment with Dee-Dee.

I really didn’t want to see her, or anyone for that matter. It’s why I didn’t go down to breakfast either. I hadn’t wanted to talk to Norm or Lexi. Especially not Lexi. I wasn’t sure how I was going to tell her about me rejecting Rowen, and wanting them to be together. They were bettered suited for each other. I just wasn’t ready to talk to her about it.

For the first time in my life I was almost late to something. I drug my feet as I walked into Dee-Dee’s office. She was already sitting on the bean bag chair across from my usual spot. She smiled at me, and I

tried to do the same. I just wasn’t feeling it. I took Lilac off my shoulder, and sat. Dee-Dee stood up. closed the office door then took off Lilac’s leash. The kitten tried to get into my lap, but I pulled my knees to my chest, and buried my head in them. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to be left alone. Lilac didn’t quite get the message though because she started climbing on me. I tried to shake her off, but she wouldn’t stop.

“She knows you need her Chastity. She’s not going to leave your side right now.” Dee-Dee said gently.

I finally stopped trying to push Lilac away. She managed to get under my shirt, against my side. It tickled when her fur brushed me. Then she settled, and began to purr softly.

“Bad day today, Chastity?” Dee-Dee asked quietly, and I just shrugged..

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shrugged again.

“Ok. We’ll just sit here until you feel like talking.”

I nodded.

We sat there in silence for a long time. I didn’t want to talk at first, then I didn’t know what to say or how to start. I had so much running through my mind. Then I remembered Rowen saying I should tell Dee-Dee about yesterday.

“I froze up in self defense class, then curled into a ball on the floor, shaking and crying. I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t move.” I said quietly.

“What happened?” Dee-Dee asked.

“I heard a noise, and I got scared.”

“So you had a panic attack?”

“I don’t know.”

“What was the sound?”

“It sounded like a whip.”

“How did you calm down from your panic attack?”

“L…Lexi carried me out of the gym, and too my bedroom.”

“What did you do once you were in

your room?”

“Nothing.”

“What did Lexi, and Norm do?”

“Lexi….she called Rowen when he is busy. She pulled him from his important work. He has things to do. Responsibilities, and she called him to deal with the broken little Omega. She made an Alpha stop what he was doing to help a nobody.”

“How did Rowen react when she called him? Did he help?”

“Yes.” I whispered.

“Did he seem upset about it?” Dee-Dee asked gently.

“No.” I answered quietly.

“Did he talk to you during, and after your panic attack?” She questioned.

“Yes.” I said.

help calm you down from the panic attack?”

“Yes.” I whined.

thing. That’s what mates do

to do those things for me.

WILL NEVER BE WHAT HE NEEDS! I WILL ONLY BRING HIM DOWN! HE HAS RESPONSIBILITIES, AND A JOB! HE IS IMPORTANT! HE CAN’T ALWAYS STOP HIS DAY JUST BECAUSE I AM BROKEN AND CANNOT DEAL WITH LIFE! I CANNOT BE WHAT HE NEEDS! I’LL NEVER BE A GOOD LUNA! I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING FOR HIM! HE DESERVES BETTER! SOMEONE WHO WILL MAKE HIM HAPPY! SOMEONE WHO WILL HELP HIM BE THE ALPHA HE IS MEANT TO BE! SOMEONE WHO WON’T MAKE HIM WAIT BECAUSE SHE IS BROKEN! HE DESERVES SOMEONE WHO IS HIS MATCH IN EVERYTHING! I’M A NOBODY! I’M NOTHING! HE DOESN’T DESERVE A NOTHING! HE DOESN’T DESERVE A NOBODY! HE DOESN’T DESERVE A WORTHLESS DISGUSTING OMEGA WHO SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN! HE DOESN’T DESERVE TO BE STUCK WITH SOMEONE WHO SHOULD HAVE DIED WITH HER MOM FIFTEEN YEARS AGO! WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY SEE THAT? WHY CAN NO ONE UNDERSTAND HE MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE WHEN HE REJECTED ME? WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THE TRUTH? HE

understand why no one saw what I did. Why couldn’t HE see what I did? He

Fiona, Naomi, or all of those others that said those things to you, talking?”

questioned as I

you talking or was it just what you’ve been told by others?” Dee-Dee asked

it matter who said it first? It’s the truth.”

Is it

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why is it true?”

badly. I would have been loved by my family. I would have had

things about yourself

“What?”

think you’re worthless, disgusting, and should have died, why are you here, at Cloverland? Why are you trying to become a midwife? If you really think those things you wouldn’t have worked so hard to get here. You wouldn’t be here right now, attending this school, if you really believed those things. So I will ask you again, is that you speaking or is it

“1….”

accept Rowen’s rejection? Why didn’t you instantly reject him when he retracted it? Why haven’t you rejected him

Next time I see him I will reject him. He deserves better than me. He deserves someone like Lexi, or any other high rank she-wolf out there. Not me. He shouldn’t have

you think he’ll accept your

knows he’s too good for me. He knows he deserves better than

that’s the case why did he take the rejection back? Why did he come see

I don’t know. Because he pities me. If I don’t reject him now, eventually he’ll reject me any way. At least if I reject him he has a chance

he wants

can he not? I’m nothing! I’m worthless.

he doesn’t agree

“He will.”

you sure

just like everyone else, eventually he will. Eventually he’ll see that I’m not

Leila think of

me, but eventually she’ll realize that I’m right, or she’ll leave too. She’s better off without

“You really believe that?”

“Yes.”

Wanda, your family, your friends. All of them see you as worth so much. Lexi, Norm, and Marcus see you as worth so much. Rowen sees you as everything. Your wolf loves you, and she only wants you. None of the people in your life see themselves as better

“Sure. Why not?”

the perfect

“Lexi?”

sitting in my office first thing this morning, before I even got here, waiting for

“Me?”

but she does know you come to see me several times a week. She asked me how she can help you. What she can do to help you heal. How she can be a better friend

most of them kept away. When Anthony did what he did to her, she pulled

friend, and you are very important to her. She said she knows it’s only been a little under two weeks since you two met, but you mean the world to her. In her eyes you are worth more than even she is. She said you

so much more than

her she’s not. She adores you.

“What’s that?”

rough start, but never let that stop her from trying to achieve her dream. Who kept a brave face through everything she was experiencing. Who shared warmth, and caring even though she wasn’t receiving any.

to me? Why did they hurt me? Why did they reject me? Why did they ignore me? Why? What did

the floor, and sobbed. If all of that was true, why had my life been riddled with pain for so long. Why had I been told the things

Chastity. I can only tell you what I know, and I what I have gathered from the things I have read, and heard. Know that I have heard the trail recordings. As well as the recordings from Aurora’s execution, and Dimitri’s recording from his last conversation with Aurora. I have also spoken to Dimitri extensively. Rowen

picked up Lilac, and held her too my chest. She didn’t fight me on it, just licked the underside of

was manipulated, badly, and used as a tool. He was young, and impressionable to his mother’s whims, as most pups are. I know you know he regrets his wrongs. Naomi was also very easily manipulated due to her own short- comings. Luna Jane didn’t reject her as a friend in any way, but Naomi was lead astray so many times. Luna Jane had trouble keeping her close. Naomi tends to do what she is told without

Dimitri’s example to make him proud of him too. To gain his approval. Unfortunately for Colby he was kind of the odd man out. Aurora even told him that he was just her spare if she needed him. Colby didn’t fit into exactly what Aurora wanted, and he wasn’t happy with

expected of you. He believed that Dimitri had put you in charge of the care of them, and the pack house. He didn’t acknowledge what he saw in any form of abuse because he didn’t want to believe any one in his pack would harm another.

could change it they would. Gamma Ross distanced himself from everything because

believe she had started out as just wanting more for herself than what she had as a pup, and upon getting it, it tainted her

care.

into Fiona through constant reminders, and promises, despite being empty. Do I believe Fiona suffers from the same mental instability Aurora does? No. I believe she is the result of that mental instability being used in a way that manipulated another. In Braxton’s case it’s different because he had Dimitri, Jax, and Colby to show a different example. Fiona did not have that because Aurora did what she could to keep her way from them. She

flawed thoughts. He made a choice with no real information. One that was not taught to him, just something he assumed, and believed. He realized his mistake quickly. He discovered his beliefs were completely wrong, and has been trying to make it right

wronged you badly. There was never anything wrong with you. It was them that

“But….”

hard to change a line of thinking

do? How do

wants to be there for you, and help you in everyway they can. It also is going to take you listening to what

too.”

are you talking

and Lexi called

to me, and calm me down. He stayed on the video call until I fell asleep last night. He shouldn’t have done that though. He had work to do, and responsibilities. He was pulled away from all of

did that because YOU are the most important thing

“But I shouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because he deserves better.”

really are inside, not the bruised, battered shell on the outside. He sees to the heart, and soul of you. He deserves that person, as much as you deserve him. In his

good for him.”

“But….”

not who you are. What those horrible people told you is not who you are. You are so much more than that. Rowen, he sees that, and he will do everything he needs to do to help you get

you.”

to have

to be humble, kind, and observant. She knew you needed each other so she paired you. She made the right choice. It may take you time to see it, but eventually you will. If

L

“\….

me ask

“OK.”