The Author's POV

Pitter! Pitter!

The muffled sound of rain hitting against the window beside me, woke me up.

I groggily opened my eyes and glanced toward the window, where I was greeted by a gloomy scene. It was a dark and dreary sight, typical of any rainy day.

It perfectly synchronized with my mood.

[You have 37 missed calls]

When I finally had the opportunity to check my phone, I noticed several missed calls. They seemed to come from my parents, Amanda, Kevin, and the others. I ultimately didn't answer them back and just shut off my phone.

I wasn't in the mood to talk with anyone at the moment.

Everything felt like a dream to me at the moment. No, rather, a nightmare. One that I couldn't possibly escape from.

'What time is it?'

An unknown period of time passed while I lay on my bed just blankly staring at the ceiling of the room I was in.

Raising my hand and turning my wrist, I checked the time. I felt a sudden pang in my heart while I stared at the time. 16 : 39 P.M.

"...It's almost time, huh?"

I reluctantly got out of bed and stumbled toward the closet where I pulled out a set of black clothes. Grabbing onto the clothes, my hands shook.

It was almost time for Smallsnake's funeral to start.

A few days had passed since the incident, and those few days had been among the most difficult in my life. It was difficult to prepare a funeral for someone you had assumed would accompany you till the end and would always be around.

I...I just couldn't stomach it.

How?

Just where did things go wrong?

Why must things have turned out this way?

"What's this?"

Unknowingly, I felt something wet stream down from the side of my face.

"..Ah, shit."

I raised my hand and clenched my chest as a sharp, heartbreaking agony swept across my chest.

It hurt.

It really hurt.

I...I really didn't expect things to turn out this way. I...I really didn't.

***

Ryan looked toward the empty casket in the distance as he passed through the long aisle that was covered in a long red carpet and seemed to stretch for miles. It was probably shorter, but to him, it looked endless.

His footsteps felt heavy, and his eyes were rather blurry.

It still hadn't sunk into his mind.

...The fact that Smallsnake had left him.

The fatherly or brotherly figure he had been missing throughout his entire life was gone just like that.

"I..shouldn't be like this."

He mumbled to himself while he walked down the aisle.

'Fix your clothes, you look like a total mess like that.'

'Is that really how you want to look at my funeral?'

wipe your

I thought I

Ryan's face as he suddenly thought of his appearance. Raising his arm, he

me if

hollow laugh escaped from

another wave of sadness swept past Ryan who felt something grip his chest. Once again,

mustn't show him that I'm

not have been here, but to Ryan, he was

He was always here.

lowered his head. He then

cat, Ava, Hein, Leopold, Kevin, Amanda, Emma...all of Ren's friends and people that were previously on the other

But...

was only one

'Where is he?'

Ryan tried to look for Ren. It didn't take long for him to spot his parents whom he had met once with Smallsnake...they

here apart

'Why?'

he continuously looked for

'Why isn't he here?'

didn't seem like he was the only one that was looking for him. Practically, almost everyone in the chapel was

...How could they not?

supposed to speak first. He was supposed to be the one guy that known him the

why wasn't he

Out of all people, he should've been the

Why?

Why!!

Why!?

'D..does he not care?'

he had witnessed as a result

he really just think

was watching everything. In the first place, he didn't understand much of

...It made no sense.

there was one thing he managed to pick up from the flashbacks, was

treated everyone as though they were expandables that could be tossed

knew them or not. If they were in the way of

the Ren that Ryan saw in the visions, and this was also this behavior that made Ryan understand that the dream

He wasn't.

Never.

least that was what he thought

down waiting for him to

no, it can't

in a negative direction, possibly as a result of the fact that he wasn't in the finest emotional state.

crazy and unlikely the probability of that Ren being the Ren he knew, Ryan just couldn't stop overlapping

no..they are not

Ren in the same way as before was the only thing keeping him from going further down. He was also the one that informed him that Ren wasn't that

him from going down an even bigger downward spiral of

"Keum."

was a small cough. Raising his head up, he found

"Why is he there?"

while he looked at Kevin. He barely knew Smallsnake, what

know that some of you are uncomfortable with my sudden

turned his

late, and it doesn't seem like Ren is here yet. Since we

Clank—!

As soon as that happened, more than half of the audience turned to look in the direction of where the noise came from, and there

'Ren?'

as he spotted him

notice his appearance as the chapel was filled with murmurs and

circles, pale face, crooked tie, and wrinkled clothes, Ryan

turmoil in the chapel as several figures rushed to him, only to be rejected by him who slowly walked toward the altar. His steps were rather

clenching his teeth, Ryan

a deep sense of shame rise from deep

was stupid of me to think

was supposed to be the saddest about his apparent death, but