The Author's POV

Chapter 605

Pitter! Pitter!

The muffled sound of rain hitting against the window beside me, woke me up.

I groggily opened my eyes and glanced toward the window, where I was greeted by a gloomy scene. It was a dark and dreary sight, typical of any rainy day.

It perfectly synchronized with my mood.

[You have 37 missed calls]

When I finally had the opportunity to check my phone, I noticed several missed calls. They seemed to come from my parents, Amanda, Kevin, and the others. I ultimately didn't answer them back and just shut off my phone.

I wasn't in the mood to talk with anyone at the moment.

Everything felt like a dream to me at the moment. No, rather, a nightmare. One that I couldn't possibly escape from.

'What time is it?'

An unknown period of time passed while I lay on my bed just blankly staring at the ceiling of the room I was in.

Raising my hand and turning my wrist, I checked the time. I felt a sudden pang in my heart while I stared at the time. 16 : 39 P.M.

"...It's almost time, huh?"

I reluctantly got out of bed and stumbled toward the closet where I pulled out a set of black clothes. Grabbing onto the clothes, my hands shook.

It was almost time for Smallsnake's funeral to start.

A few days had passed since the incident, and those few days had been among the most difficult in my life. It was difficult to prepare a funeral for someone you had assumed would accompany you till the end and would always be around.

I...I just couldn't stomach it.

How?

Just where did things go wrong?

Why must things have turned out this way?

"What's this?"

Unknowingly, I felt something wet stream down from the side of my face.

"..Ah, shit."

I raised my hand and clenched my chest as a sharp, heartbreaking agony swept across my chest.

It hurt.

It really hurt.

I...I really didn't expect things to turn out this way. I...I really didn't.

***

Ryan looked toward the empty casket in the distance as he passed through the long aisle that was covered in a long red carpet and seemed to stretch for miles. It was probably shorter, but to him, it looked endless.

His footsteps felt heavy, and his eyes were rather blurry.

It still hadn't sunk into his mind.

...The fact that Smallsnake had left him.

The fatherly or brotherly figure he had been missing throughout his entire life was gone just like that.

"I..shouldn't be like this."

He mumbled to himself while he walked down the aisle.

'Fix your clothes, you look like a total mess like that.'

'Is that really how you want to look at my funeral?'

wipe your

I thought I taught you

formed on Ryan's face as he suddenly thought of

would probably nag me if he saw me in this

laugh escaped

another wave of sadness swept past Ryan who felt something grip his chest. Once again, he felt the corner of his eyes tear up, but as he thought of

show him that

here,

He was always here.

minutes, Ryan lowered his head.

as a cat, Ava, Hein, Leopold, Kevin, Amanda, Emma...all of

But...

was only

'Where is he?'

Ren. It didn't take long for him to spot his parents

here apart

'Why?'

while he

'Why isn't he here?'

like he was the only one that was looking for him. Practically, almost everyone in the

...How could they not?

was the one that was supposed to speak first. He was supposed to be the one guy that known

why wasn't he

Out of all people, he should've been

Why?

Why!!

Why!?

'D..does he not care?'

dream he had witnessed as a result of the

really just think

the first place, he didn't

...It made no sense.

managed to pick up from the flashbacks, was

killed individuals without showing any remorse and treated everyone as though they were

were in the way of his goals,

was also this behavior that made Ryan understand that the dream was probably a fake. The Ren he knew wasn't

He wasn't.

Never.

least that was

sat down waiting

no, no, it can't

beginning to spiral downward in a negative direction, possibly as a result of the fact that he wasn't in the finest emotional state. No one could blame him for his

of that Ren being the Ren he knew, Ryan just couldn't stop overlapping the

not the same

before was the only thing keeping him from going further down.

him from going down

"Keum."

of his thoughts was a small cough. Raising his head up, he found

"Why is he there?"

He barely knew Smallsnake, what right did he have to stand

some of you are uncomfortable with my sudden

turned his wrist and checked his

seem like Ren is here yet. Since we can't afford to take

Clank—!

the audience turned to look in the direction of where the noise came from, and there

'Ren?'

as he spotted

the only one that notice his appearance as the chapel was filled with murmurs

of his glaring black circles, pale face, crooked tie, and wrinkled clothes, Ryan

chapel as several figures rushed to him, only to be rejected by him who slowly walked toward the altar. His steps

his teeth, Ryan

deep sense of shame rise from deep within

of me

supposed to be the saddest about his apparent death, but staring at Ren who had trouble walking, Ryan realized how immature his

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