The Author's POV

"Pathetic, isn't it?"

As I mumbled those words, I turned to face the people in the seats across from me.

My throat tightened as I felt the gazes of the people in the room.

Their gazes...

They felt rather suffocating. Especially when I met the gazes of Ryan and the others that were close to Smallsnake. I felt a deep sense of guilt when I saw the pained expression on their faces.

A part of me felt responsible for this mess.

It wasn't just that. As I spoke, memories of Smallsnake started to resurface inside my mind. Each and every one of them caused me to experience intense anguish.

Time stood at a standstill, and a great sense of wariness washed over me. Enough to give me the impression that my body had completely lost all of its vigor.

'...I look pretty pathetic, don't I?'

I lowered my head and stopped speaking.

I probably looked a far cry from how I usually acted, but I couldn't help it. Never did I expect a loss to impact me so much.

Unlike the other me, I still had emotions, and they weren't something I could just turn off with the flip of a switch.

I wish I could...

...I really wish I could.

I slowly raised my head and opened my mouth to speak. My eyes quietly swept the room in the process.

My gaze halted in a certain area just as I was about to speak.

My body began to tremble. A flood of emotions burst out from deep within my body while my eyes focused on a particular person in the distance.

He...

He looked just like me.

Black hair, blue eyes, and an indifferent look...it would be more appropriate to say that he was me.

He was standing near the rear of the room with shackles around his hands and feet. Everything around me started to vanish at that very moment, leaving only him to fill my field of vision.

Everything around me felt dark.

It seemed as though the world had ended and the two of us were the only people remaining in this world. Breathing and standing got a little more difficult, which intensified the feeling of unease that I felt.

'All of this...'

Blinking once, the world around me cleared up and I found myself inside the chapel again. He was still standing there.

His image continued to haunt me in my mind.

'...All of this is his fault.'

I quietly mumbled to myself.

Everything that was happening to me, and Smallsnake's death. It was all his fault.

I was sure of it.

Smallsnake's death was something he had planned.

At first, it didn't make sense to me, but by this point, I was positive. Smallsnake's death was planned by him. He had planned his demise with the sole purpose of inciting animosity between Jezebeth and I.

make sense to me, but

knew that everything was his fault. He

He was my curse.

That's why.

my mouth, I

'...Please die.'

***

for over

individuals walked up to the

were mostly there

fact, the number of people that were actually close to

what was sadder was the faces of those that were mourning his

unfold, Kevin

individual known as 'Smallsnake'

to be in

But...

'Please die.'

Kevin found himself unable to continue paying attention to

he said those words, and the direction he was looking at,

he talking about

Why?

want him to die so

just

loops, the memories, they felt weird to Kevin. In a way, he looked like the bad

Kevin felt that something

way, his actions made sense to

half of it was

a sense, what Ren was going through was what he deserved to

His actions...

no worse than the

to hate him. In a way, he felt sympathy

just how much pain he went through, and the reason for his

no doubt that he would behave the same way if put

that wasn't the

'...There's something missing.'

else was

a feeling, but at the same time, Kevin knew

time to go

after sensing a pull at his arm. After briefly focusing his attention on her, he turned around and swept his gaze around the room. Soon his eyes paused on Ren who seemed to

Kevin's eyes drooped. Then, turning around, he left

"Let's go."

not going to talk to

"...Not now."

Kevin quietly mumbled.

lips, he repeated

"Not now."

***

back toward the headquarters right after the

to be sorted out in the

Clank—!

that greeted me was darkness. It was a rare

I would be greeted by lights and

'You're finally here, Ren.'

'Shut up.'

'Fuck you.'

"Haha."

escaped from my lips when I recalled our