The Beast And The Blessed

Chapter 98

Ninety-Eight: Natalie

Natalie's P.O.V.

I could hear Her melodic voice on repeat, telling me to let go. She wanted me to lose control, control I had tried so hard to maintain. But she had been right.

I had lost control. I had let my emotions rule my magic, and now thousands were dead. It didn't bother me that they were. They needed to die to save the lives of my people. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I needed to.

But that was the problem. That was what I was scared of. What if I accidentally did it again?

How many of my own people would die because I got too angry, too scared, or too sad?

I wanted to celebrate with my pack as the city was alive with excitement. Bonfires were lit throughout the city, and people ate and drank to their hearts' content.

What we had anticipated being a long and drawn-out war, had ended in a matter of hours. We had lost so few that while they would be mourned and missed, the joy of so many returning home was something to celebrate.

Yet, I had difficulty enjoying myself when I felt like a ticking time bomb. I was too exhausted to think it would happen tonight, but what about tomorrow or next week?

My hands gripped the cold stone as I sat on the front steps of the castle, watching as Killian laughed and cheered with a drink in his hands. I had never seen him so carefree. It took almost an hour of me encouraging him to enjoy himself before he agreed to one celebratory drink.

He would be back at my side in a few minutes once his drink was gone, caring for me.

He understood that I needed a minute alone, and he respected that. Still, his eyes never strayed from me for more than a few minutes as he watched me with concern.

'It gets easier.' The voice came through the pack link, startling me.

step below me, close enough to reach out and touch him if I wanted to but far enough away that I still felt like

felt the

you love.' His quiet admission felt more personal than I had expected, and I glanced down at the back of his head as he stared out over the land straight

children running wild and

slumped slightly forward, and his hand was clenching and

for me to know that the loved ones he was worried about hurting

been healed physically but was still recovering with several other wounded warriors in the infirmary. I knew it was her

mountain yet.

witnessed in those mountains or what it was like to be stabbed, but she was fighting her

to

knew he was deciding if Tobias was bothering me. But I smiled as Killian looked at me for reassurance that I

a long silence, and I grumbled in annoyance when Tobias didn't respond. Our conversation already had him saying more

me to be ready for him to come back. I winked with a small smile, and he immediately

knees on either side of me. I leaned against his

Concern was laced in his voice. I knew he didn't like that I wasn't talking to him yet about what was on my mind. He was worried about me, but he didn't need

for my mother to return home. With her here, I would get answers about my father, we could continue our training, and she could tell me about

control again, even if it had worked out in our favor

suspected to be my father would make meeting him easier, or I would be in trouble for sending him after she said she hadn't wanted to see him. She loved him, and based on how he hovered over me when

twirled a piece of my hair between his fingers. The relaxing and gentle pulling sensation made me look up at him as my head fell back against his

you would like." His lips pressed against the side of my head

side, and I felt guilty that

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