The Beast And The Blessed

Chapter 98

Ninety-Eight: Natalie

Natalie's P.O.V.

I could hear Her melodic voice on repeat, telling me to let go. She wanted me to lose control, control I had tried so hard to maintain. But she had been right.

I had lost control. I had let my emotions rule my magic, and now thousands were dead. It didn't bother me that they were. They needed to die to save the lives of my people. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I needed to.

But that was the problem. That was what I was scared of. What if I accidentally did it again?

How many of my own people would die because I got too angry, too scared, or too sad?

I wanted to celebrate with my pack as the city was alive with excitement. Bonfires were lit throughout the city, and people ate and drank to their hearts' content.

What we had anticipated being a long and drawn-out war, had ended in a matter of hours. We had lost so few that while they would be mourned and missed, the joy of so many returning home was something to celebrate.

Yet, I had difficulty enjoying myself when I felt like a ticking time bomb. I was too exhausted to think it would happen tonight, but what about tomorrow or next week?

My hands gripped the cold stone as I sat on the front steps of the castle, watching as Killian laughed and cheered with a drink in his hands. I had never seen him so carefree. It took almost an hour of me encouraging him to enjoy himself before he agreed to one celebratory drink.

He would be back at my side in a few minutes once his drink was gone, caring for me.

He understood that I needed a minute alone, and he respected that. Still, his eyes never strayed from me for more than a few minutes as he watched me with concern.

'It gets easier.' The voice came through the pack link, startling me.

sit on the step below me, close enough to reach out and touch him if I

does? Killing someone?' I asked before biting my tongue as I felt the lump in

That you may hurt those you love.' His quiet admission felt more personal than I had expected, and I glanced down at the back of his head as he stared out over the land

were lines of bonfires through the streets, with children running wild

hand was clenching and unclenching as it

me to know that the loved ones he was worried about

had been healed physically but was still recovering with several other wounded warriors in the infirmary. I knew it was her choice because when I visited, she did the same thing I

mountain yet. Agatha had been lost to her injuries

what it was like to be stabbed, but

you wait so long to talk to me?’ I wondered,

deciding if Tobias was bothering me. But I smiled as Killian looked at me

already had him saying more than I had expected

raising one eyebrow at me again as he impatiently waited for me to be ready for him to come back. I winked with a small smile, and he immediately started back

sitting behind me with his knees on either side of me. I leaned against

want to talk about it?’ Killian asked quietly, but I shook my head right away. "Would you like to go back to our room and sleep?’ Concern was laced in his voice. I knew he didn't like that I wasn't talking to him yet about what was on my mind. He was worried

home. With her here, I would get answers about

if it had worked out

fact that she was with the man I suspected to be my father would make meeting him easier, or I would be in trouble for sending him after she said she hadn't wanted to see him. She loved him, and based on how he hovered over me when he thought

between his fingers. The relaxing and gentle pulling sensation made me look up at him as my head fell back against

like." His lips pressed against the side of

the side, and I felt guilty

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