The Beast And The Blessed

Chapter 98

Ninety-Eight: Natalie

Natalie's P.O.V.

I could hear Her melodic voice on repeat, telling me to let go. She wanted me to lose control, control I had tried so hard to maintain. But she had been right.

I had lost control. I had let my emotions rule my magic, and now thousands were dead. It didn't bother me that they were. They needed to die to save the lives of my people. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I needed to.

But that was the problem. That was what I was scared of. What if I accidentally did it again?

How many of my own people would die because I got too angry, too scared, or too sad?

I wanted to celebrate with my pack as the city was alive with excitement. Bonfires were lit throughout the city, and people ate and drank to their hearts' content.

What we had anticipated being a long and drawn-out war, had ended in a matter of hours. We had lost so few that while they would be mourned and missed, the joy of so many returning home was something to celebrate.

Yet, I had difficulty enjoying myself when I felt like a ticking time bomb. I was too exhausted to think it would happen tonight, but what about tomorrow or next week?

My hands gripped the cold stone as I sat on the front steps of the castle, watching as Killian laughed and cheered with a drink in his hands. I had never seen him so carefree. It took almost an hour of me encouraging him to enjoy himself before he agreed to one celebratory drink.

He would be back at my side in a few minutes once his drink was gone, caring for me.

He understood that I needed a minute alone, and he respected that. Still, his eyes never strayed from me for more than a few minutes as he watched me with concern.

'It gets easier.' The voice came through the pack link, startling me.

my left as Tobias moved to sit on the step below me, close enough to reach out and touch him if I wanted to but far enough away that I still felt like I had the space

I felt the lump in

felt more

through the streets, with children running wild and adults drinking and cheering.

and his hand was clenching and unclenching as it hung over the front of his

vocalize it for me to know that

recovering with several other wounded warriors in the infirmary. I knew it was her choice because when I visited, she did the same thing I did and sent everyone away. She

knew what had happened on that mountain yet. Agatha had been lost to her injuries

those mountains or what it was like to be stabbed, but she was

did you wait so long to talk to me?’ I wondered, looking back to

was deciding if Tobias was bothering me. But

a long silence, and I grumbled in annoyance when Tobias didn't respond. Our conversation already had him saying more than I had expected him to say. Yet, I was

a sip of his drink, raising one eyebrow at me again as he impatiently waited for me to be ready for him to come back. I winked with

behind me with his knees on either side of me. I leaned against

right away. "Would you like to go back to our room and sleep?’ Concern was laced in his voice. I knew he didn't like that I wasn't talking to him

here, I would get answers about my father, we

wanted to lose control again, even if it had worked out in our

would be in trouble for sending him after she said she hadn't wanted to see him. She loved him, and based on how he hovered over me when he thought I was her, he still had

relaxing and gentle pulling sensation made me look up at him as

you would like." His lips pressed against the side of my head before we both looked back

and I felt guilty that he was here and not with the woman he so obviously

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