The Beast And The Blessed

Chapter 98

Ninety-Eight: Natalie

Natalie's P.O.V.

I could hear Her melodic voice on repeat, telling me to let go. She wanted me to lose control, control I had tried so hard to maintain. But she had been right.

I had lost control. I had let my emotions rule my magic, and now thousands were dead. It didn't bother me that they were. They needed to die to save the lives of my people. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I needed to.

But that was the problem. That was what I was scared of. What if I accidentally did it again?

How many of my own people would die because I got too angry, too scared, or too sad?

I wanted to celebrate with my pack as the city was alive with excitement. Bonfires were lit throughout the city, and people ate and drank to their hearts' content.

What we had anticipated being a long and drawn-out war, had ended in a matter of hours. We had lost so few that while they would be mourned and missed, the joy of so many returning home was something to celebrate.

Yet, I had difficulty enjoying myself when I felt like a ticking time bomb. I was too exhausted to think it would happen tonight, but what about tomorrow or next week?

My hands gripped the cold stone as I sat on the front steps of the castle, watching as Killian laughed and cheered with a drink in his hands. I had never seen him so carefree. It took almost an hour of me encouraging him to enjoy himself before he agreed to one celebratory drink.

He would be back at my side in a few minutes once his drink was gone, caring for me.

He understood that I needed a minute alone, and he respected that. Still, his eyes never strayed from me for more than a few minutes as he watched me with concern.

'It gets easier.' The voice came through the pack link, startling me.

the step below me, close enough to reach out and touch him if I

tongue as I felt the lump in my throat grow more prominent,

you may hurt those you love.' His quiet admission felt more personal than I had expected, and

bonfires through the streets, with children running wild and adults drinking and

and his hand was clenching and unclenching as it hung over

have to vocalize it for me to know that the loved ones he was worried about hurting included

had been healed physically but was still recovering with several other wounded warriors in the infirmary. I knew it was her choice because when I visited, she did the same thing I did and sent everyone away. She wanted

happened on that mountain yet. Agatha had been lost to her injuries

had witnessed in those mountains or what it was like to be stabbed, but she was

wait so long to talk to me?’

knew he was deciding if Tobias was bothering me. But I smiled as Killian

grumbled in annoyance when Tobias didn't respond. Our conversation already had him saying

sip of his drink, raising one eyebrow at me again as he impatiently waited for me to be ready for him to come back. I winked with a small smile,

his knees on either side of me. I leaned

you like to go back to our room and sleep?’ Concern was laced in his voice. I knew he didn't like that I wasn't talking to him yet about what was on my mind. He was worried about me,

here, I would get answers about my father, we could continue our training, and

lose control again, even if it had worked out in

meeting him easier, or I would be in trouble for sending him after she said she hadn't wanted to see him. She

relaxing and gentle pulling sensation made me look up at him as my head fell back against his shoulder. "No,

pressed against the side

and moved to stand guard to the side, and I felt guilty that he was here and not with the woman he so

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