I can’t help but cover my mouth to not shout out. I can’t believe it. It’s really him. My heart just goes insane, beating like a drum and threatening to jump out of my chest. I have to be wrong, why the hell would Rick be in New York?

“Hera?”

I don’t react. I’m just completely stunned, in shock. A wave of memories suddenly takes over my mind, driving me insane with melancholy and bitter, stinging feelings I had buried deep before they drowned me. Rick’s gotten older by a few years, but there’s no way I’d forget the face of the only man I ever loved. On the screen, he looks like any other cop standing perfectly calm in his NYPD uniform. Since when the fuck did he even become a New York City Cop?

“I was about to leave,” Abe answers the question I already forgot.

Rick nods, and lets him walk away, while Charles still seems suspicious. My God, those two on the same screen is like a nightmare come true. What the hell is Rick doing at my funeral? Abe walks away, but then, he suddenly darts to the side, to stay behind and witness the scene. The camera goes dark, and we can’t see the two men’s actions nor faces, but we can hear them just fine.

“…Long time not see.”

“Agent Rivera,” Charles comments. “That’s funny, I don’t remember you being part of the NYPD?”

“I moved departments recently.”

“New York is quite far from your hometown.”

“I had personal interests here.”

The shots are being fired and my heart’s being cribbled with bullets. Someone amongst the female vampires chuckles, visibly excited by the tension, but I’m not quite the same. It’s horrible for me to listen to this, and I’m just glad I can’t see it. I want to scream, but instead, I just muffle it behind my palm.

“…My condolences,” Charles mutters. “I know you had some feelings for her too.”

“I did.”

The answer’s angry tone clearly means he held more than “some feelings” for me, but Charles pretends not to hear it. He clears his throat.

“I understand you’d want a minute,” he calmly says. “After all, you didn’t get to… see her again.”

He tries to walk away, the brunette’s heels right behind him, but before we hear more than three steps, Rick’s voice echoes in the church.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?”

Charles stops.

“…Excuse me?”

“How she was alone, the night of her death?”

“I’m very sorry, Agent Rivera. I was attending a Charity Party on the other side of Manhattan. I should have had someone stay with her, but June barely accepted anyone but me by her side in the… last weeks.”

That’s not true. I just didn’t have anyone else to turn to.

“So you left her on her own, in a hotel room?”

“She chose to stay there herself, she felt safe in the hotel. You can ask her manager, she’d picked it hers-”

“There were lots of blades in that room.”

“…Excuse me?”

“There were razors, kitchen knives and many other dangerous things.”

agent Rivera. June didn’t get out, she needed the things that are used in an actual apartment for her everyday

was diagnosed as being in an extremely depressive state, and you had no issue leaving her alone

it being completely dark. Wherever Abe hid, there isn’t a hint of light, just a crazy good

ahead and… commit such an atrocious thing. However, your colleagues from forensics confirmed it was a suicide, as you probably know. I’m not really sure what you’re trying to do

Charles and that dark-haired woman. From what we hear, Rick stays behind, and the video suddenly stops. I let out the

that was interesting,” says

Agent Cutie for the stuck-up dude?” Cecily frowns. “Is there something wrong with

her, all of them, and stand up, turning around to face Richard

little people actually cared about my death? Or to show how stupid I’d been to commit suicide? I get it! I get it, alright? I’m a fucking failure

called you that, Darling,” says

this? Even if some people cared about me, it’s too fucking late now! I can’t just go back, June Starr is dead! She chose

“Hera, stop it.”

just keep screaming my agonizing feelings out. His ice-blue eyes are just so calm, like a prison forcing me

didn’t choose to

but the other vampires are just about as confused as I am. My emotions at their wits’ ends, I nervously laugh, hysteria knocking right behind that already

just say?” I hear myself

death was not

my head. Perhaps Richard’s mad, or he

console me, but I remember very precisely what

remember your

around, and there’s a whole room of vampires waiting for me to answer him as if his question made any sense. I close my

to, but I always just wanted to cry, to disappear. It was like that every day, for weeks. Nothing could make me smile, I just felt completely… void. like there was a heavy, heavy weight on my heart that just sucked all the happiness and joy away. Like I wasn’t in tune with the rest of the world, as if… it could just go on

not just my actual death; I remember days and days going by without me seeing anything that could end

depression if I know anything about it,” mutters Benedict, crossing his

do, Bene,” sighs

woke up here, in

question throws me right back into the

suppose. It was all

make

as if I’m some

“There’s no way, right?”

are you talking about?”

eyes, as if it was obvious. “You don’t just get rid of it within two days, certainly not because you’re transformed. Most of us took days, if not weeks, to get over whatever trauma caused our deaths,

I turn to Richard, but he’s also staring at me, although

I’m… better,” I mutter. “Because my troubles are gone, I

doesn’t make sense. Clinical Depression isn’t just

how they…

you have

still don’t get it. Where are we

had the means to get someone who could have helped you, a therapist or a psychiatrist, and you

now, no, I didn’t. I literally saw no one but him and perhaps a couple of staff for weeks, so now, can you tell me what the

“Everything.”

suddenly takes out a piece of paper, and hands it to Rebecca. She raises both eyebrows, but stares at it, quickly reading the lines with her eyebrows slowly tilting from upwards to downwards. I barely saw anything, but it

her shoulder and for once, about as confused as

Baby

While most of us are still confused,

of Beta-blockers,

I mutter, recognizing only that word. “Like drugs? What is that

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