I can’t help but cover my mouth to not shout out. I can’t believe it. It’s really him. My heart just goes insane, beating like a drum and threatening to jump out of my chest. I have to be wrong, why the hell would Rick be in New York?

“Hera?”

I don’t react. I’m just completely stunned, in shock. A wave of memories suddenly takes over my mind, driving me insane with melancholy and bitter, stinging feelings I had buried deep before they drowned me. Rick’s gotten older by a few years, but there’s no way I’d forget the face of the only man I ever loved. On the screen, he looks like any other cop standing perfectly calm in his NYPD uniform. Since when the fuck did he even become a New York City Cop?

“I was about to leave,” Abe answers the question I already forgot.

Rick nods, and lets him walk away, while Charles still seems suspicious. My God, those two on the same screen is like a nightmare come true. What the hell is Rick doing at my funeral? Abe walks away, but then, he suddenly darts to the side, to stay behind and witness the scene. The camera goes dark, and we can’t see the two men’s actions nor faces, but we can hear them just fine.

“…Long time not see.”

“Agent Rivera,” Charles comments. “That’s funny, I don’t remember you being part of the NYPD?”

“I moved departments recently.”

“New York is quite far from your hometown.”

“I had personal interests here.”

The shots are being fired and my heart’s being cribbled with bullets. Someone amongst the female vampires chuckles, visibly excited by the tension, but I’m not quite the same. It’s horrible for me to listen to this, and I’m just glad I can’t see it. I want to scream, but instead, I just muffle it behind my palm.

“…My condolences,” Charles mutters. “I know you had some feelings for her too.”

“I did.”

The answer’s angry tone clearly means he held more than “some feelings” for me, but Charles pretends not to hear it. He clears his throat.

“I understand you’d want a minute,” he calmly says. “After all, you didn’t get to… see her again.”

He tries to walk away, the brunette’s heels right behind him, but before we hear more than three steps, Rick’s voice echoes in the church.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?”

Charles stops.

“…Excuse me?”

“How she was alone, the night of her death?”

“I’m very sorry, Agent Rivera. I was attending a Charity Party on the other side of Manhattan. I should have had someone stay with her, but June barely accepted anyone but me by her side in the… last weeks.”

That’s not true. I just didn’t have anyone else to turn to.

“So you left her on her own, in a hotel room?”

“She chose to stay there herself, she felt safe in the hotel. You can ask her manager, she’d picked it hers-”

“There were lots of blades in that room.”

“…Excuse me?”

“There were razors, kitchen knives and many other dangerous things.”

the things that are used

had no issue leaving

despite it being completely dark. Wherever Abe hid, there

I’m not really sure what you’re trying to

out, Charles and that dark-haired woman. From what we hear, Rick stays behind, and the video suddenly stops. I let

was interesting,” says Rebecca, raising her thin

stuck-up dude?” Cecily frowns.

stand up, turning around to

put me through this? What was the point?! Show me how little people actually cared about my death? Or to show how stupid I’d been to commit suicide? I get it! I get it, alright? I’m a fucking failure and

that, Darling,” says

this? Even if some people cared about me, it’s too fucking late now! I can’t just go back, June

“Hera, stop it.”

and even madder that I can’t just keep screaming my agonizing feelings out. His ice-blue eyes are just so calm, like a prison forcing me to stay

didn’t choose to kill

confused as I

just say?” I hear myself

death was

Perhaps Richard’s mad, or

I remember

you remember

I hesitate, but glance around, and there’s a whole room of vampires waiting for me to answer him as if

laugh or smile ever again. Like I’d never get out of it. I wanted to, but I always just wanted to cry, to disappear. It was like that every day, for weeks. Nothing could make me smile, I just felt completely… void. like there was a heavy, heavy weight on my heart that just sucked all the happiness and joy

actual death; I remember days and days going by without me seeing

I know anything about it,” mutters

do, Bene,” sighs

when you woke up here, in

back into the rollercoaster.

suppose. It was all

doesn’t make any

my head to Anna, who’s staring at me as if I’m some confusing problem. She tilts her head, and turns to

“There’s no way, right?”

talking

Cecily rolls her eyes, as if it was obvious. “You don’t just get rid of it within two days, certainly not because you’re transformed. Most of us took days, if not weeks,

he’s also staring at me, although undecipherable

I mutter. “Because my troubles are gone, I

better about dying, Baby,” says Rebecca. “It just doesn’t make sense. Clinical Depression isn’t just a state of mind, it’s an actual, diagnosticable illness, Hera. Someone

how they… got me out of the upcoming

have a regular

don’t get it. Where are

someone who could have helped you, a therapist

just now, no, I didn’t. I literally saw no one but him and perhaps a couple of staff for weeks, so now, can you tell me

“Everything.”

stares at it, quickly reading the lines with her eyebrows slowly tilting from

glancing over her shoulder and

that our Baby didn’t commit suicide of

gets more and more confusing by the minute. While most of us are still confused, she reads

of Beta-blockers, Corticosteroids, isotretinoin, carbidopa,

that word. “Like drugs? What is that

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