The Luna and her Quadruplet Pups by Jane Above Story

Chapter 204

Jane

I’m staring at Devon with utmost apprehension, my thoughts racing at a mile a minute. What in the Goddess’s name is he about to tell me? All of a sudden, I realize that whatever it is – I don’t want to hear it. My heart is racing every bit as fast as my thoughts, pounding violently against my ribcage.

To imagine that yet another person in my life – one I taught myself to trust despite all my bad experiences, who I’ve come to trust above anyone else save Linda- might have betrayed me, is just too much to contemplate.

Devon is watching me anxiously, trying to work up the courage to say whatever it is he intends. The hand I rejected a moment ago now clasps his other, shaking with the force he’s using to lock his fingers together. Already I know whatever is coming must be very bad indeed- or he wouldn’t be so nervous.

“I’m sorry, Devon.” I choke suddenly, lurching to my feet. “I can’t do this. I can’t be here right now.”

“Jane wait-” He stands as well, reaching towards me as if he worries I won’t be steady on my feet. “

It’s not what you think!”

“No,” I shake my head, cradling my hand over the curve of my belly. “I have to go.”I stalk out the door before he can stop me, and though the heavy wood slams behind me, I can hear him swearing up a storm.

I rush to my new car, it’s silver paint still gleaming with a factory wax finish. I slide into the drivers seat and start the engine, locking the door when I see Devon rush out of the house behind me. I shift it into gear and take off towards my apartment, tears streaming down my cheeks. I thought I’d cried a lot during my first pregnancy, but this one is quickly proving me wrong.

“Goddess Damn It, Ethan!” I cry into the empty car.

Wasn’t it hard enough with the quadruplets?

Couldn’t you give me even one baby that won’t rip my heart out just getting here?”

I know the only thing that’s going to make me feel better right now is seeing my pups, but I also know I can’t go home to them in this state. It’s not only that I don’t want them to see me cry, Dr Nora has been warning me about not imposing my personal traumas on them. I don’t want to teach them that people are bad and not to be trusted, even if my experiences have made me feel that way.

Sobbing, I pull over and lower my head to the steering wheel, letting the tears wrack my body until I can breathe again until the deluge finally ebbs and slows and I can think clearly. I do a few breathing exercises, and dry my face, checking the rearview mirror to make sure my skin isn’t too splotchy.

I get back on the road, but when I arrive at the apartment I realize Devon has beaten me there. Apparently my stopover to cry gave him the headstart he needed,

upstairs, keeping up my breathing exercises in the elevator. When I arrive, the babysitter has already left and Devon is alone with the pups. I can hear their laughter before I even walk through the door. I push

when I enter, and suddenly the excited pups are

lurks in the background. It’s amazing how they can make my heart swell

big and fat I’ll have to waddle like a penguin. I won’t even be able to stand up by myself,

“Mommy we don’t have money for a crane.”

take cares of you and then you’ll never have

“You’ll wait on me hand and foot?” I lower my voice to a scandalized

if I have

true.” Parker muses, “She pees

you can learn

won’t have to worry bout getting

in, coming to stand behind them. “if you pups

she’s resting, I’ll handle

I remark, the humor gone from my voice. “Pups,

young voice rising in a

need to talk.” I lie, hating that this man

and I wait until the door closes behind them to turn on Devon. “I say I can’t do this’ and run out, and your response is to chase

haven’t been actively lying to you, I’ve just been withholding something- something personal about myself that I was

myself, my heart softens

my guard down just yet. “If I can understand it so

I didn’t want to scare you.” To my amazement, Devon’s

want you to hate me… before I even got a chance

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