The Perfect Run

For a second, none of the Psychos dared to move.

Instead, they looked at the surreal scene before them. That of an adorable rabbit plushie standing right outside the room, surrounded by blood and corpses. Ryan never told Len much about this unholy abomination, and so, these fools didn’t expect to awaken it. The seal had been broken, and hell set loose.

The plushie noticed the Black Elixir in Big Fat Adam’s hands, and looked at it with curiosity.

Don’t do it.

The plushie playfully glanced at Ryan.

Don’t do it!

And then, the worst came to pass.

The plushie noticed Little Sarah, bound on the table. Its ears raised up in interest, and it uttered cursed words, “Child detected!”

Finally realizing the danger, Psyshock launched his wire tentacles at the plushie, while Ghoul unleashed an ice shard volley. The possessed toy leapt into the air with unnatural agility, its eyes turning red. A laser blast hit Psypsy and vaporized his brain, the rabbit bouncing off walls to dodge attacks.

Realizing the danger of Ryan dying in the crossfire, Hannifat Lecter turned towards his captive with the Black Elixir bottle raised. “No escape!” he snarled angrily, intent on corrupting the time-traveler.

In a sudden but inevitable betrayal, Sarin unleashed a blast of compressed air at her boss. The attack threw Adam against a wall, shattered the bottle, and splattered him with black ooze. The vicious cannibal let out a scream of agony, as the Black Elixir ate through his reinforced skin and consumed him whole.

Call it Karma.

“Sarin, you traitor!” Ghoul raised his hands to freeze everyone in the room, too dim to realize it would kill Ryan and make him restart. Before Mr. Dem Bones could do anything though, the plushie bounced against his chest like a cannonball. The cryokinetic tripped on Adam’s leg and fell onto his boss’ lap, the black ooze immediately latching on to him as well. Soon, the scene looked like two birds desperately trying to escape an oil spill, and failing.

“Let’s hug!” the plushie abandoned everything to leap on the table and lovingly hug Sarah. The little girl’s gagging muffled her screams of fear and confusion. “We’ll be together, forever and ever!”

“What the fuck?” Sarin looked at the scene in shock, before getting her priorities straight. Using weak but focused vibrations, she disabled Ryan’s bindings one by one.

“AH!” Ryan gasped for air after spitting out the apple in his mouth. “That was close.”

“It’s not over yet,” Sarin warned, as the Black Elixir finished consuming its two victims. Somehow though, it didn’t collapse into nothingness like in the previous loop. Ryan quickly understood why. Ghoul couldn’t die, but the Black Elixir devoured its hosts.

A paradox.

And somehow, the situation allowed the Black Elixir to stabilize in the shape of a colossal, monstrous blob of dark goo; an oily shoggoth. Its victims’ eyes and mouth floated on the surface, the lips moving to form words. “You…” it said, the alien voice belonging to neither of its ‘hosts.’ “You… you open the gate… send me back… back to the Black…”

Sarin raised her hands to blast the creature, but Ryan stopped her by standing up between the ooze and her. He had an idea.

Look for the stars in the night sky...

“How about this?” Ryan told the shoggoth. “You help me, and I help you.”

If the creature was sentient and needed help, then perhaps it understood the concept of reciprocity.

The goo fluctuated and wriggled, but much to Hazmat Girl’s surprise, didn’t make a move to attack. It didn’t even try to assimilate Ryan, perhaps because it needed him alive and functional. “Help... how?” the ooze asked with a confused voice.

Ryan glanced at the corridor outside the room, glimpsing some movement on the other end. Psyshock must have summoned his thralls. “Helping me live through this would be a start?”

“Wait, you aren’t offing yourself?” Sarin asked, a bit surprised.

“Not yet,” Ryan replied. This run was doomed from the start, but it also provided a unique opportunity. “I’m all for assisted suicide, but only in moderation.”

“Alright…” The shoggoth slithered out of the room, Psyshock’s thralls immediately opening fire at the alien abomination. Bullets hit the creature without damaging it, and it quickly devoured them like it did with the Psychos.

“Man, you tamed a giant slime,” Sarin said, astonished.

“A shoggoth,” Ryan replied, before glancing at the other abomination in the room.

Pop!

out a switchblade and cut her bindings. The poor girl immediately removed

the courier asked her, the little

panic. “Where are we? How do you know

play together!” it said, all but begging its new bonded child, who had no idea how

told the critter, before trying to reassure

was all strange, and these guys…

to throw them at the base’s defenses,” Sarin said, before observing the plushies more closely.

looked at Sarin with

Hazmat Girl with his body, neither of the critters dropping their murderous attitude. “She’s thirteen

calmed down, speaking in unison,

Disneyland,” Ryan said, cracking his knucklebones. “We’re already

going on anymore,” Sarin

of life. All the thralls, and even the plushie’s previous victims, had been consumed by the ooze. “Thanks for the assist, by the way. I almost regret beating you up

“Do you have a cure? Can you make

cure on myself,” Ryan admitted. “But

like Adam.” She crossed her arms, disappointed, but not

a friendly, grass-eating time-traveler. One should sound a little more trustworthy than

Rain? She wanted to skewer you

the secret close to his chest to avoid a leak or mutiny, which served Ryan fine. If he could get rid of Psyshock, nobody else in the Meta-Gang

as the two plushies both took Sarah by one hand and tried to lead her towards the slaughter. The

save the children and Shortie, then we’re taking

second.

many lifetimes opportunity. Since the plushie had already entered its duplication phase, the run was ruined beyond repairs, but the courier would have the

went along anyway. “I think Psyshock keeps a batch of Bliss in the

of brain tissues, then drugs should paralyze him like Enrique’s toxin. “Sarah, you stay with the plushies until Uncle Ryan comes back with your mom. You

outside!” the plushies replied, eager

her lower lip, exactly

Ryan walked outside the room and into the corridor, Sarin following him like

duo entered an underground chamber with seven vats full of colored liquid, each representing a different Elixir. Mutated animals floated in three of them, linked

closed back then. The Meta-Gang must have unlocked the next area

occasional tools. Since most were bloodied, Ryan assumed they were what remained of the plushie’s victims after it made its way to the cell. The thralls must

the other way,” Sarin said, as Ryan searched through the tools on the ground for a weapon to use. Eventually, he settled on a bloodied hammer, elegant in its

for the next corridor. “I thought the two of you were an

because we’ve got good power synergy.” Hazmat Girl suddenly considered the

the dictionary, your picture

the bird in

knew this job would suck, but I still signed on.” Miss Chernobyl shook

the end.” Which was why he remained wary of her presence. He still

“Guess I lost all hope of a cure then,

kept his body down to move inside the narrow space, the

He didn’t even pay attention to Sarin. “I

“Yes, Mr. Vice-President.”

Ryan quickly thought on his feet. “Agent Frank,” he said, pointing a finger at Psyshock with his free hand while keeping

flinch in confusion, while Psyshock

man is a commie sympathizer who murdered the POTUS! And he killed Kennedy too! The bullet bent, Agent Frank!

cannot trick me!” Frank said, regaining his composure. He might suffer from delusions, but he wasn’t entirely stupid either. “I know we brought you to Guantanamo for a waterboarding session, and you’re going back in there! You’re

set me up!” Ryan kept accusing Psyshock with an experienced actor’s talent. “He set me up in an attempt to silence me! And when I convinced the President of the truth during the interrogation, he

Ryan directly. Perhaps reading Len’s memories taught him that he shouldn’t engage the courier without backup. “Frank, he’s trying to divide us. Don’t listen and

truth, Frank,” Sarin said, finally understanding Ryan’s ploy. She pointed a finger at Psyshock, who hadn’t expected her betrayal.

done, I will disperse you to the

Agent Sarin,” Frank declared. Sarin’s lies had weakened his resolve. “Do

Ryan said,

held a bloody hammer in