The Perfect Run

For a second, none of the Psychos dared to move.

Instead, they looked at the surreal scene before them. That of an adorable rabbit plushie standing right outside the room, surrounded by blood and corpses. Ryan never told Len much about this unholy abomination, and so, these fools didn’t expect to awaken it. The seal had been broken, and hell set loose.

The plushie noticed the Black Elixir in Big Fat Adam’s hands, and looked at it with curiosity.

Don’t do it.

The plushie playfully glanced at Ryan.

Don’t do it!

And then, the worst came to pass.

The plushie noticed Little Sarah, bound on the table. Its ears raised up in interest, and it uttered cursed words, “Child detected!”

Finally realizing the danger, Psyshock launched his wire tentacles at the plushie, while Ghoul unleashed an ice shard volley. The possessed toy leapt into the air with unnatural agility, its eyes turning red. A laser blast hit Psypsy and vaporized his brain, the rabbit bouncing off walls to dodge attacks.

Realizing the danger of Ryan dying in the crossfire, Hannifat Lecter turned towards his captive with the Black Elixir bottle raised. “No escape!” he snarled angrily, intent on corrupting the time-traveler.

In a sudden but inevitable betrayal, Sarin unleashed a blast of compressed air at her boss. The attack threw Adam against a wall, shattered the bottle, and splattered him with black ooze. The vicious cannibal let out a scream of agony, as the Black Elixir ate through his reinforced skin and consumed him whole.

Call it Karma.

“Sarin, you traitor!” Ghoul raised his hands to freeze everyone in the room, too dim to realize it would kill Ryan and make him restart. Before Mr. Dem Bones could do anything though, the plushie bounced against his chest like a cannonball. The cryokinetic tripped on Adam’s leg and fell onto his boss’ lap, the black ooze immediately latching on to him as well. Soon, the scene looked like two birds desperately trying to escape an oil spill, and failing.

“Let’s hug!” the plushie abandoned everything to leap on the table and lovingly hug Sarah. The little girl’s gagging muffled her screams of fear and confusion. “We’ll be together, forever and ever!”

“What the fuck?” Sarin looked at the scene in shock, before getting her priorities straight. Using weak but focused vibrations, she disabled Ryan’s bindings one by one.

“AH!” Ryan gasped for air after spitting out the apple in his mouth. “That was close.”

“It’s not over yet,” Sarin warned, as the Black Elixir finished consuming its two victims. Somehow though, it didn’t collapse into nothingness like in the previous loop. Ryan quickly understood why. Ghoul couldn’t die, but the Black Elixir devoured its hosts.

A paradox.

And somehow, the situation allowed the Black Elixir to stabilize in the shape of a colossal, monstrous blob of dark goo; an oily shoggoth. Its victims’ eyes and mouth floated on the surface, the lips moving to form words. “You…” it said, the alien voice belonging to neither of its ‘hosts.’ “You… you open the gate… send me back… back to the Black…”

Sarin raised her hands to blast the creature, but Ryan stopped her by standing up between the ooze and her. He had an idea.

Look for the stars in the night sky...

“How about this?” Ryan told the shoggoth. “You help me, and I help you.”

If the creature was sentient and needed help, then perhaps it understood the concept of reciprocity.

The goo fluctuated and wriggled, but much to Hazmat Girl’s surprise, didn’t make a move to attack. It didn’t even try to assimilate Ryan, perhaps because it needed him alive and functional. “Help... how?” the ooze asked with a confused voice.

Ryan glanced at the corridor outside the room, glimpsing some movement on the other end. Psyshock must have summoned his thralls. “Helping me live through this would be a start?”

“Wait, you aren’t offing yourself?” Sarin asked, a bit surprised.

“Not yet,” Ryan replied. This run was doomed from the start, but it also provided a unique opportunity. “I’m all for assisted suicide, but only in moderation.”

“Alright…” The shoggoth slithered out of the room, Psyshock’s thralls immediately opening fire at the alien abomination. Bullets hit the creature without damaging it, and it quickly devoured them like it did with the Psychos.

“Man, you tamed a giant slime,” Sarin said, astonished.

“A shoggoth,” Ryan replied, before glancing at the other abomination in the room.

Pop!

the two rabbit abominations in the room. While the original kept hugging Sarah by the neck, the clone pulled out a switchblade and cut her bindings. The

alright, Sarah?” the courier asked her, the little girl

in a panic. “Where are we? How do you know

“Let’s play together!” it said, all but begging its new bonded child,

told the critter, before trying to reassure

She was all strange, and these

Adam wanted to throw them at the base’s defenses,” Sarin said, before observing the plushies

looked at

critters dropping their murderous attitude. “She’s thirteen too, in her head! Let’s save the other preteens first, then

plushies calmed down, speaking in unison, “Let’s go to

to Disneyland,” Ryan said, cracking his knucklebones. “We’re already

going on anymore,”

life.” The courier looked at the corridor beyond the room, which the shoggoth had cleaned up of life. All the thralls, and even the plushie’s previous victims, had been consumed by the ooze. “Thanks for the assist, by the way.

you pro bono, jackass,” she replied gruffly. “Do you have

have a cure on myself,” Ryan admitted. “But I think

disappointed, but not surprised. “Always the same

grass-eating time-traveler. One should sound a little more trustworthy than

Acid Rain? She wanted to skewer

chest to avoid a leak or mutiny, which served Ryan fine. If he could

two plushies both took Sarah by one hand and tried to lead her towards the

and Shortie,

second. “What,

inside, Ryan had a once in many lifetimes opportunity. Since the plushie had already entered its duplication phase, the run was ruined beyond repairs, but the courier would have the opportunity

think Psyshock keeps a batch of Bliss in the infirmary. Mongrel can’t sleep without that stuff. The other hellions

take some eye medicine then.” If Psyshock was mostly made of brain tissues, then drugs should paralyze him like Enrique’s toxin. “Sarah, you stay with the

plushies replied, eager

lower lip, exactly like Len. Adorable!

you’re safe, trust me. It’s everyone else who isn’t.” Ryan walked outside the room and into the corridor, Sarin following him like his shadow.

vats full of colored liquid, each representing a different

the blast doors was closed back then. The Meta-Gang must have unlocked the next area while he slept, but it did

Ryan assumed they were what remained of the plushie’s victims after it made its way to the cell. The

other way,” Sarin said, as Ryan searched through the tools on the ground for a weapon to use. Eventually, he settled on a bloodied hammer, elegant in its

asked her, as they left the central hub for the next corridor. “I thought the two of you were an

just Adam always pairs us up because we’ve got good power synergy.”

in the dictionary, your

him the bird in response. A witty sidekick, she

this job would suck, but I still signed on.” Miss Chernobyl shook her head in annoyance. “What you said, about

were fighting with him until the end.” Which was why he remained wary of her presence. He still remembered her playing a song alongside Adam’s

spook her though. “Guess I lost all hope of a

on them from the other side of the corridor. The colossus kept his body down to move inside the narrow space, the tentacled shadow of Psypsy slithering behind him. Ryan hastily hid his hammer behind his back, immediately thinking of a

He didn’t

“Yes, Mr. Vice-President.”

a step forward, but Ryan quickly thought on his feet. “Agent Frank,” he said, pointing a finger at Psyshock with his free hand while keeping the hammer hidden with the other. “Arrest

to flinch in confusion, while Psyshock and

man is a commie sympathizer who murdered the POTUS! And he killed Kennedy too! The bullet bent, Agent Frank! He

entirely stupid either. “I know

up in an attempt to silence me! And when I convinced the President of the truth during the interrogation, he murdered him! He murdered him,

said, though he didn’t dare attack Ryan directly. Perhaps reading Len’s memories taught him that he shouldn’t engage

Romano is telling the truth, Frank,” Sarin said, finally understanding Ryan’s ploy. She pointed a finger at Psyshock, who hadn’t expected her betrayal. “I swear it, Psyshock murdered Adam. I

once we are done, I will disperse you to the winds,” Psyshock threatened her,

Sarin’s lies had weakened his resolve. “Do you have

Ryan said,

held a bloody hammer in