The Perfect Run

For a second, none of the Psychos dared to move.

Instead, they looked at the surreal scene before them. That of an adorable rabbit plushie standing right outside the room, surrounded by blood and corpses. Ryan never told Len much about this unholy abomination, and so, these fools didn’t expect to awaken it. The seal had been broken, and hell set loose.

The plushie noticed the Black Elixir in Big Fat Adam’s hands, and looked at it with curiosity.

Don’t do it.

The plushie playfully glanced at Ryan.

Don’t do it!

And then, the worst came to pass.

The plushie noticed Little Sarah, bound on the table. Its ears raised up in interest, and it uttered cursed words, “Child detected!”

Finally realizing the danger, Psyshock launched his wire tentacles at the plushie, while Ghoul unleashed an ice shard volley. The possessed toy leapt into the air with unnatural agility, its eyes turning red. A laser blast hit Psypsy and vaporized his brain, the rabbit bouncing off walls to dodge attacks.

Realizing the danger of Ryan dying in the crossfire, Hannifat Lecter turned towards his captive with the Black Elixir bottle raised. “No escape!” he snarled angrily, intent on corrupting the time-traveler.

In a sudden but inevitable betrayal, Sarin unleashed a blast of compressed air at her boss. The attack threw Adam against a wall, shattered the bottle, and splattered him with black ooze. The vicious cannibal let out a scream of agony, as the Black Elixir ate through his reinforced skin and consumed him whole.

Call it Karma.

“Sarin, you traitor!” Ghoul raised his hands to freeze everyone in the room, too dim to realize it would kill Ryan and make him restart. Before Mr. Dem Bones could do anything though, the plushie bounced against his chest like a cannonball. The cryokinetic tripped on Adam’s leg and fell onto his boss’ lap, the black ooze immediately latching on to him as well. Soon, the scene looked like two birds desperately trying to escape an oil spill, and failing.

“Let’s hug!” the plushie abandoned everything to leap on the table and lovingly hug Sarah. The little girl’s gagging muffled her screams of fear and confusion. “We’ll be together, forever and ever!”

“What the fuck?” Sarin looked at the scene in shock, before getting her priorities straight. Using weak but focused vibrations, she disabled Ryan’s bindings one by one.

“AH!” Ryan gasped for air after spitting out the apple in his mouth. “That was close.”

“It’s not over yet,” Sarin warned, as the Black Elixir finished consuming its two victims. Somehow though, it didn’t collapse into nothingness like in the previous loop. Ryan quickly understood why. Ghoul couldn’t die, but the Black Elixir devoured its hosts.

A paradox.

And somehow, the situation allowed the Black Elixir to stabilize in the shape of a colossal, monstrous blob of dark goo; an oily shoggoth. Its victims’ eyes and mouth floated on the surface, the lips moving to form words. “You…” it said, the alien voice belonging to neither of its ‘hosts.’ “You… you open the gate… send me back… back to the Black…”

Sarin raised her hands to blast the creature, but Ryan stopped her by standing up between the ooze and her. He had an idea.

Look for the stars in the night sky...

“How about this?” Ryan told the shoggoth. “You help me, and I help you.”

If the creature was sentient and needed help, then perhaps it understood the concept of reciprocity.

The goo fluctuated and wriggled, but much to Hazmat Girl’s surprise, didn’t make a move to attack. It didn’t even try to assimilate Ryan, perhaps because it needed him alive and functional. “Help... how?” the ooze asked with a confused voice.

Ryan glanced at the corridor outside the room, glimpsing some movement on the other end. Psyshock must have summoned his thralls. “Helping me live through this would be a start?”

“Wait, you aren’t offing yourself?” Sarin asked, a bit surprised.

“Not yet,” Ryan replied. This run was doomed from the start, but it also provided a unique opportunity. “I’m all for assisted suicide, but only in moderation.”

“Alright…” The shoggoth slithered out of the room, Psyshock’s thralls immediately opening fire at the alien abomination. Bullets hit the creature without damaging it, and it quickly devoured them like it did with the Psychos.

“Man, you tamed a giant slime,” Sarin said, astonished.

“A shoggoth,” Ryan replied, before glancing at the other abomination in the room.

Pop!

rabbit abominations in the room. While the original kept hugging Sarah by the neck, the clone pulled out a switchblade and cut her bindings. The poor girl

the little girl backing away in fear and

she asked in a panic. “Where

its switchblade to grab Sarah’s hand instead. “Let’s play together!” it said, all but begging its new bonded child, who had no idea how

the critter, before trying to

strange, and these guys… they took

to throw them at the base’s defenses,” Sarin said, before observing

two rabbits looked at Sarin with crimson

neither of the critters dropping their murderous attitude. “She’s thirteen too, in her head! Let’s save the other preteens first, then we resort

plushies calmed down, speaking in unison, “Let’s go to

going to Disneyland,” Ryan said, cracking his knucklebones.

going on anymore,” Sarin

the room, which the shoggoth had cleaned up of life. All the thralls, and even the plushie’s previous victims, had been consumed by the ooze. “Thanks for the assist, by the way. I almost regret beating you up in

help you pro bono, jackass,” she replied gruffly. “Do you have a cure? Can you

cure on myself,” Ryan admitted. “But I think I have the resources to

disappointed, but not

One should sound a little more trustworthy than the other. Who else knows about

to skewer you on sight, so Adam

leak or mutiny, which served Ryan

by one hand and tried to lead her

the children and

froze a second.

Ryan had a once in many lifetimes opportunity. Since the plushie had already entered its duplication phase, the run was ruined beyond repairs, but the courier would have the opportunity to study Mechron’s

but went along anyway. “I think Psyshock keeps a batch of Bliss in the infirmary. Mongrel can’t sleep

stay with the plushies until Uncle Ryan comes back

play outside!” the plushies replied, eager to sow

exactly like Len. Adorable! “You’re leaving

room and into the corridor,

walk, the duo entered an underground chamber with seven vats full of colored liquid, each representing a different Elixir. Mutated animals floated in three of them, linked to

fighting Hannifat Lecter in a previous run, though one of the blast doors was closed back then. The Meta-Gang must have unlocked the next area while he slept, but it did them no good; Ryan could hear screams and

the plushie’s victims after it

as Ryan searched through the tools on the ground for

mad about Ghoul?” Ryan asked her, as they left the central hub for the

always pairs us up because we’ve got good power synergy.”

I looked up ‘jobber’ in the dictionary, your picture

flipped him the bird in response. A witty

knew this job would suck, but I still signed on.” Miss

Mechron’s orbital laser. You were fighting with him until the end.” Which was why he remained wary of her

to spook her though. “Guess I lost all hope of a cure then, but sheesh, burn

The colossus kept his body down to move inside the narrow space, the tentacled shadow of Psypsy slithering behind him. Ryan hastily hid

Psyshock ordered, pointing a tentacle at Ryan. He didn’t

“Yes, Mr. Vice-President.”

Ryan quickly thought on his feet. “Agent Frank,” he said, pointing a finger at Psyshock with his free hand while keeping the hammer hidden with

while Psyshock and

Romano, CIA!” Quicksave continued to bluff, now fully roleplaying. “This man is a commie sympathizer who murdered the POTUS! And he killed Kennedy too! The bullet bent, Agent Frank! He

either. “I know we brought you to Guantanamo for a waterboarding session, and you’re going

talent. “He set me up in an attempt to silence me!

attack Ryan directly. Perhaps reading Len’s memories taught him that he shouldn’t engage the courier without

ploy. She pointed a finger at Psyshock, who hadn’t expected her betrayal. “I swear it, Psyshock murdered Adam. I saw

disperse you to the

lies had weakened

have!” Ryan said, freezing

held a bloody hammer in a