The Perfect Run

For a second, none of the Psychos dared to move.

Instead, they looked at the surreal scene before them. That of an adorable rabbit plushie standing right outside the room, surrounded by blood and corpses. Ryan never told Len much about this unholy abomination, and so, these fools didn’t expect to awaken it. The seal had been broken, and hell set loose.

The plushie noticed the Black Elixir in Big Fat Adam’s hands, and looked at it with curiosity.

Don’t do it.

The plushie playfully glanced at Ryan.

Don’t do it!

And then, the worst came to pass.

The plushie noticed Little Sarah, bound on the table. Its ears raised up in interest, and it uttered cursed words, “Child detected!”

Finally realizing the danger, Psyshock launched his wire tentacles at the plushie, while Ghoul unleashed an ice shard volley. The possessed toy leapt into the air with unnatural agility, its eyes turning red. A laser blast hit Psypsy and vaporized his brain, the rabbit bouncing off walls to dodge attacks.

Realizing the danger of Ryan dying in the crossfire, Hannifat Lecter turned towards his captive with the Black Elixir bottle raised. “No escape!” he snarled angrily, intent on corrupting the time-traveler.

In a sudden but inevitable betrayal, Sarin unleashed a blast of compressed air at her boss. The attack threw Adam against a wall, shattered the bottle, and splattered him with black ooze. The vicious cannibal let out a scream of agony, as the Black Elixir ate through his reinforced skin and consumed him whole.

Call it Karma.

“Sarin, you traitor!” Ghoul raised his hands to freeze everyone in the room, too dim to realize it would kill Ryan and make him restart. Before Mr. Dem Bones could do anything though, the plushie bounced against his chest like a cannonball. The cryokinetic tripped on Adam’s leg and fell onto his boss’ lap, the black ooze immediately latching on to him as well. Soon, the scene looked like two birds desperately trying to escape an oil spill, and failing.

“Let’s hug!” the plushie abandoned everything to leap on the table and lovingly hug Sarah. The little girl’s gagging muffled her screams of fear and confusion. “We’ll be together, forever and ever!”

“What the fuck?” Sarin looked at the scene in shock, before getting her priorities straight. Using weak but focused vibrations, she disabled Ryan’s bindings one by one.

“AH!” Ryan gasped for air after spitting out the apple in his mouth. “That was close.”

“It’s not over yet,” Sarin warned, as the Black Elixir finished consuming its two victims. Somehow though, it didn’t collapse into nothingness like in the previous loop. Ryan quickly understood why. Ghoul couldn’t die, but the Black Elixir devoured its hosts.

A paradox.

And somehow, the situation allowed the Black Elixir to stabilize in the shape of a colossal, monstrous blob of dark goo; an oily shoggoth. Its victims’ eyes and mouth floated on the surface, the lips moving to form words. “You…” it said, the alien voice belonging to neither of its ‘hosts.’ “You… you open the gate… send me back… back to the Black…”

Sarin raised her hands to blast the creature, but Ryan stopped her by standing up between the ooze and her. He had an idea.

Look for the stars in the night sky...

“How about this?” Ryan told the shoggoth. “You help me, and I help you.”

If the creature was sentient and needed help, then perhaps it understood the concept of reciprocity.

The goo fluctuated and wriggled, but much to Hazmat Girl’s surprise, didn’t make a move to attack. It didn’t even try to assimilate Ryan, perhaps because it needed him alive and functional. “Help... how?” the ooze asked with a confused voice.

Ryan glanced at the corridor outside the room, glimpsing some movement on the other end. Psyshock must have summoned his thralls. “Helping me live through this would be a start?”

“Wait, you aren’t offing yourself?” Sarin asked, a bit surprised.

“Not yet,” Ryan replied. This run was doomed from the start, but it also provided a unique opportunity. “I’m all for assisted suicide, but only in moderation.”

“Alright…” The shoggoth slithered out of the room, Psyshock’s thralls immediately opening fire at the alien abomination. Bullets hit the creature without damaging it, and it quickly devoured them like it did with the Psychos.

“Man, you tamed a giant slime,” Sarin said, astonished.

“A shoggoth,” Ryan replied, before glancing at the other abomination in the room.

Pop!

the neck, the clone pulled out a switchblade

Sarah?” the courier asked her, the little girl backing away in fear and falling off

in a panic. “Where are we? How do you know my

grab Sarah’s hand instead. “Let’s play together!” it said, all but begging

critter, before trying to reassure Sarah. “I’m your mom’s

She was all strange, and these

defenses,” Sarin said, before observing the plushies more closely.

two rabbits looked at

dropping their murderous attitude. “She’s thirteen too, in her head! Let’s save the

plushies calmed down, speaking in unison, “Let’s go to

Disneyland,” Ryan said, cracking his knucklebones. “We’re already

going on anymore,” Sarin

even the plushie’s previous victims,

jackass,” she replied gruffly. “Do you have a

myself,” Ryan admitted. “But I think I have

arms, disappointed, but not surprised. “Always the

grass-eating time-traveler. One should sound a little more trustworthy than the other. Who else knows

Acid Rain? She wanted to skewer you

served Ryan fine. If he

tried to lead her towards the slaughter. The

children and Shortie, then

a second. “What, the

his current allies inside, Ryan had a once in many lifetimes opportunity. Since the plushie had already entered its duplication phase, the run was ruined beyond repairs, but the courier would have the opportunity to study

every drug ever?” Sarin deadpanned, but went along anyway. “I think Psyshock keeps a batch of

you stay with the plushies until Uncle Ryan comes back with your mom. You don’t leave them, but you don’t listen to what they say either. They’re a

play outside!” the plushies replied,

her lower lip, exactly like Len. Adorable! “You’re

outside the room and into the corridor, Sarin following him like

different Elixir. Mutated animals floated in three of them, linked to

have unlocked the next area while he slept, but it did them no good; Ryan could hear screams and gunfire coming

assumed they were what remained of the plushie’s victims after it made its way to the cell. The thralls must have been disassembling robots before being

on the ground for a weapon to use. Eventually, he settled on a bloodied hammer,

as they left the central hub for

Adam always pairs us up because we’ve got good power synergy.” Hazmat Girl suddenly

looked up ‘jobber’ in the dictionary, your picture would come

bird in response. A witty sidekick, she

job would suck, but I still signed on.” Miss Chernobyl shook her head in annoyance. “What

why he

spook her though. “Guess I lost all hope

in on them from the other side of the corridor. The colossus kept his body down to move inside

Psyshock ordered, pointing a tentacle at Ryan. He didn’t even pay attention to

“Yes, Mr. Vice-President.”

but Ryan quickly thought on his feet. “Agent Frank,” he said, pointing a finger at Psyshock with

flinch in confusion, while Psyshock and Sarin were too confused to say

who murdered the POTUS! And he killed Kennedy too! The bullet bent,

either. “I know we brought you to Guantanamo for a waterboarding session, and you’re

“He set me up in an attempt to silence me! And when I convinced the President of the truth during the interrogation, he murdered him! He

memories taught him that he shouldn’t engage the courier without backup. “Frank, he’s trying to

She pointed a finger at Psyshock,

to the winds,” Psyshock threatened her, “you will

Frank declared. Sarin’s lies had weakened his resolve.

have!” Ryan said, freezing

it resumed, Psypsy held a bloody hammer in a