The Perfect Run

“This is the Berlin Wall,” Ryan said, as he stood between his troops and a blast door, “the last frontier between western civilization, and complete annihilation.”

He glanced at his minions, all ready to die for their country, and because they had little choice. Sarin kept her arms crossed, carrying herself with dignity in this dark hour. Darkling lurked in a corner, still sore about its nickname. Alchemo grunted, eager to see the mission done. The rest of the cannon fodder, Gemini, the Reptilian, and Ink Machine waited anxiously; knowing that as red shirts, their odds of survival were slim.

The Land, Mosquito, and a few others remained above ground to protect the Junkyard. Rakshasa had the critical task of appeasing their ever-numerous rabbit overlords, before their numbers reached critical mass; a doomed task, unfortunately. As for Incognito, Ryan had sent him to Dynamis, to lay the groundwork for the run’s final operation.

The last member of the crack team soon showed up, holding a black briefcase. “It’s here, Mr. President,” Frank declared, as he presented the holy item to his dark master. “The Nuclear Football. It came with the mail.”

Ryan held his breath, as he touched the soft leather with anticipation. He had been careful to order it through a complex route, so the sender wouldn’t learn her client’s identity, but his efforts had paid off. At long last, the courier’s diabolical plan had reached fruition.

“What’s that, Boss?” Sarin asked, a bit confused. “A secret weapon?”

“The only one that matters.”

Ryan stopped time, and when it resumed, his clothes had fallen on the floor except for the boxers. His display of manliness was welcomed with surprise and shock. “Oh my…” Ink Machine said, a bit surprised.

“Not again, you exhibitionist!” Alchemo complained. “If you lead us to battle naked, I’m taking the door!”

“Eh,” Sarin said, as she glanced at Ryan’s boxers. “I’ve seen bigger weapons of mass destruction.”

The president ignored the masses, as he slowly opened the briefcase and gazed upon the dark power within.

Wardrobe’s presidential costume.

Unlike his previous clothes, it was pure black and red; this time, there would be no more playing around. This suit was unlike anything Ryan’s foes had faced before: unrelenting, merciless, uncompromising.

Ryan slowly and silently put it on before his troops, to establish his stylish dominance over them.

The dark pants first, because it was cold in the bunker. They fit his body curves perfectly, and oozed villainous sex appeal.

Then he put on the black leather boots, to stomp protesters’ faces. With skull-themed socks.

A cashmere red shirt and black suit, Karl Lagerfeld style. Because when you embraced the dark side, you dressed German.

A strong and powerful necktie, to represent his authoritarian, unflinching leadership.

Velvet gloves, to choke his minions when they talked back.

A black jacket, that would flow with the wind when he looked threatening atop rooftops.

A red and silver mask covered most of his head, except for the eyes, so that his evil gaze may terrify children.

And finally, a savage bowler hat, to show he meant business.

No light. No hope. Only one word.

“Perfect,” Ryan said, deepening his voice to sound more intimidating.

His men remained too intimidated to say anything, except for the idiot of the group. “I don’t find it anything special,” the Reptilian said. “And I think it’s a bit too edg—”

In response, Ryan choked him with one hand.

It had taken him years to master this move, but the sudden lack of air and blood brought the Reptilian to his knees. The mook attempted to grab the president’s arm with his hands, but the lawful authority only strengthened his grip around his victim’s throat.

“I find your lack of taste disturbing,” Ryan said, his tone promising only death.

“I’m… I’m sorry…” the Reptilian managed to sputter, his reptilian face turning purple.

“I’m sorry who, handbag?”

“I’m sorry… Mr. President…”

Ryan released the protester, and let him gasp for breath. He glanced at the other Psychos, who all straightened up. Frank carefully grabbed the president’s old clothes and put them in the briefcase.

“Alright then, mooks, listen up,” Ryan addressed his troops, as he put his trusty coil gun around his belt, and the Fisty Brothers on top of his velvet gloves. “Our goal is to reach the base’s mainframe thanks to a shortcut, and allow our brain-dead friend to hook up with it.”

“I’m not—”

“Are you questioning my authority?” Ryan asked Alchemo. “Because I respect freedom of speech.”

The Genius glanced at the Reptilian, who had barely recovered from the choking. “Two years,” Alchemo said, “and it’s still the same nonsense.”

“I love democracy.” Ryan promptly continued with his explanations. “Your job is to make sure he reaches his destination. Frank and Darkling will force a path forward, and we’ll follow suit.”

The steel giant immediately made a salute, having put the briefcase aside. “Yes, Mr. President.”

No answer from his back-up though.

“Darkling? Darkling?” Ryan glanced at his favorite ball of black goo. “Darkling, are you giving me the silent treatment?”

“... my name not Darkling...” the slime answered unconvincingly, its countless eyes looking away.

“Then what is it?” the president asked smugly.

“... not Darkling.”

Alright, Not-Darkling it was.

nasty, brutish, and short.” Ryan put his hands on his waist, Darth Vader

Psyshock going to the past, Sarin acting as a guard, or Darkling using Ghoul as a vessel at the right time.

first time since Ryan had started looping,

Big Fat Adam had lost most of his men reaching the mainframe, after all, which meant that

far without taking risks, and Len needed

his coil gun, “Sarin, be a dear and use your

you a vibrator...” His second-in-command raised her hands, and

immediately welcomed with a hail of

ray could hit her. On the other side of the broken door, the courier glimpsed a squadron of cyclopean

shouted as time resumed, before bull-rushing the robot squadron. The giant crushed

group followed. Ryan and Alchemo remained at their formation’s center,

All hell broke loose.

a bullet, as the walls opened to reveal twin miniguns on each side. A volley hit Ink Machine by surprise, but her liquid body caused

shot both weapons with his coil gun.

with the Reptilian tackling any tin can approaching her too closely. Ink Machine leaped around the room and used her liquid

Gemini, also pulled her weight. While appearing like an ethereal woman of shining light at first glance, Ryan had realized the truth upon closer examination: her tentacled shadow was the real her, and the shining woman

increased in luminosity. Two robots moved their pitch-black shadows in such a way, that

nature of her power and figure out a counter. They had

the way they moved, avoiding friendly

Alchemo as a key target; perhaps because Ryan and the

immediately switching from attacking robots to protecting the Genius. The ooze swirled around Alchemo like a barrier without touching him, stopping any

targets. This time, they focused on Ryan. Five robots unleashed a volley of lasers in his

while he activated his power. He leaped out of the lasers’ way in the

time resumed, infuriating him. Ryan angrily retaliated by shooting down the machines holding Gemini with

shape of a large dome, with the ceiling layered with holographic projections representing the solar system. Ryan noticed a red point in orbit around the

to look at the beautiful spectacle, as small holes opened all over the dome. Eye-shaped drones flew through, and opened fire at the group with submachine guns. Darkling

light. Blast doors on the walls opened and more cyclopean androids walked through, an unrelenting

Frank rampaged through the ground-bound machines, his metal body shrugging off lasers easily enough. Unfortunately, his lack of range prevented him from hitting the floating eyes, leaving

eventually resorted to stopping time, both to push his second-in-command out

any better. Cyclopean robots were trying the same ‘shadow grab’ tactic their predecessors used on Gemini, except this time with greater numbers. Eight robots grabbed the Psycho’s shadow from all sides, and then started dismembering her. Gemini’s light body flickered out and collapsed in

machines had cornered Ink Machine, and incinerated her with sustained laser beams. The liquid Psycho dissipated into colored steam, her body unable to

the Reptilian had only avoided death so

at his left once he had a brief respite, near a junction between the dome’s wall and the floor. “The structural weakness

gauntlets vibrated, and she started targeting the spot with shockwaves. Cracks slowly began to appear on the

Sarin, but Darkling formed a defensive wall around her, Alchemo, Ryan, and the Reptilian. Only Frank was left out, but he clearly didn’t need help. Eventually, Hazmat Girl blew a wide

to the

mode, barked orders. “Reptilian, with us!” he ordered,

to grab him like a potato sack before jumping into the void. Frank and Darkling moved to cover the hole behind them, snatching any eye-drone attempting to follow through. The two titans

humanoid bodies, some with their organs floating in colored liquid; while

A Genome research lab.

filled the vats with what Ryan guessed to be Elixirs. The Reptilian, in particular, could barely

next?” Sarin asked, pointing at two blast doors. “Left or

point in the gallery’s right steel wall, right behind a green

colored gas from her fingers. The wall rusted at an accelerated rate while Ryan raised his eyes at the hole above his head. Thankfully, Darkling had wisely sealed the hole with its body, preventing drones

shouted, his hands on the ground. Apparently, his enhanced senses allowed him to notice slight vibrations.

Ryan said, pushing the Genius closer to Sarin. “Reptilian, hold the line. It’s time to

avoid that,

mimic a choking motion, and

six steely spider legs, with two mechanical hands at the front. Crimson liquid swirled inside the vat, as an energy bolt raced through the substance; Ryan could see a tiny crimson spot at the center, a speck-sized

never reached his target. The machine pointed a hand at the Psycho, and a

a telekinetic Genome. A true telekinetic, capable of applying force to anything with Red

of a mosquito being crushed by

thing had turned its attention towards Ryan,

time the moment he sensed pressure in the air, immediately moving away from his current position and firing a shot. The coil gun’s projectile bounced off the strange glass protecting

with that power?” Ryan taunted the machine, which answered by trying to slam him against a wall. Only the courier’s use of time-stop and enhanced timing allowed him to avoid the Reptilian’s fate. “I hope those hands aren’t just for

out steel panels from

machine. The courier might as well be speaking to a wall, so

telekinesis; the courier couldn’t afford smashing the glass container in

been fashioned for war, and didn’t rupture

with its remaining arm. Though the time-traveler managed to activate his time-stop and move away each time the creature started applying force around him,

chose that moment to slither through the ceiling’s hole, and fell directly on

telekinesis like Alphonse Manada’s radiation. The

Ryan said as he fled into the tunnel, leaving his

bunker’s command room, crimson lights and screens flickering above his head. A red forcefield shielded the central, biomechanical brain, which

reloaded his coil gun and opened

at it. Then, he started riding it like a bull, forcefully aiming it at the other weapons in the room. A

suppressing fire, the Chernobyl cosplayer released her gas at the metal pedestal holding the giant brain; part of it rusted, and caused the forcefield to short-out. Alchemo immediately used the opportunity to climb on the

brain, nailing it with his syringe-fingers and connecting to the alien machinery. Blue lightning raced through Alchemo’s

Ryan had seized deactivated, much to his disappointment. He had

at the turrets

answer was lukewarm. “I’m changing the admin privileges and ID credentials, so it registers us

hear tremors or gunfire,” Ryan said, “so I would

have lost a few redshirts, but the information gathered on the defenses would serve him

observatory. Frank had piled up a hill of robots at the center, which somewhat obscured the camera’s vision of the room. Other screens showed underground labs, a futuristic