The Perfect Run

“This is the Berlin Wall,” Ryan said, as he stood between his troops and a blast door, “the last frontier between western civilization, and complete annihilation.”

He glanced at his minions, all ready to die for their country, and because they had little choice. Sarin kept her arms crossed, carrying herself with dignity in this dark hour. Darkling lurked in a corner, still sore about its nickname. Alchemo grunted, eager to see the mission done. The rest of the cannon fodder, Gemini, the Reptilian, and Ink Machine waited anxiously; knowing that as red shirts, their odds of survival were slim.

The Land, Mosquito, and a few others remained above ground to protect the Junkyard. Rakshasa had the critical task of appeasing their ever-numerous rabbit overlords, before their numbers reached critical mass; a doomed task, unfortunately. As for Incognito, Ryan had sent him to Dynamis, to lay the groundwork for the run’s final operation.

The last member of the crack team soon showed up, holding a black briefcase. “It’s here, Mr. President,” Frank declared, as he presented the holy item to his dark master. “The Nuclear Football. It came with the mail.”

Ryan held his breath, as he touched the soft leather with anticipation. He had been careful to order it through a complex route, so the sender wouldn’t learn her client’s identity, but his efforts had paid off. At long last, the courier’s diabolical plan had reached fruition.

“What’s that, Boss?” Sarin asked, a bit confused. “A secret weapon?”

“The only one that matters.”

Ryan stopped time, and when it resumed, his clothes had fallen on the floor except for the boxers. His display of manliness was welcomed with surprise and shock. “Oh my…” Ink Machine said, a bit surprised.

“Not again, you exhibitionist!” Alchemo complained. “If you lead us to battle naked, I’m taking the door!”

“Eh,” Sarin said, as she glanced at Ryan’s boxers. “I’ve seen bigger weapons of mass destruction.”

The president ignored the masses, as he slowly opened the briefcase and gazed upon the dark power within.

Wardrobe’s presidential costume.

Unlike his previous clothes, it was pure black and red; this time, there would be no more playing around. This suit was unlike anything Ryan’s foes had faced before: unrelenting, merciless, uncompromising.

Ryan slowly and silently put it on before his troops, to establish his stylish dominance over them.

The dark pants first, because it was cold in the bunker. They fit his body curves perfectly, and oozed villainous sex appeal.

Then he put on the black leather boots, to stomp protesters’ faces. With skull-themed socks.

A cashmere red shirt and black suit, Karl Lagerfeld style. Because when you embraced the dark side, you dressed German.

A strong and powerful necktie, to represent his authoritarian, unflinching leadership.

Velvet gloves, to choke his minions when they talked back.

A black jacket, that would flow with the wind when he looked threatening atop rooftops.

A red and silver mask covered most of his head, except for the eyes, so that his evil gaze may terrify children.

And finally, a savage bowler hat, to show he meant business.

No light. No hope. Only one word.

“Perfect,” Ryan said, deepening his voice to sound more intimidating.

His men remained too intimidated to say anything, except for the idiot of the group. “I don’t find it anything special,” the Reptilian said. “And I think it’s a bit too edg—”

In response, Ryan choked him with one hand.

It had taken him years to master this move, but the sudden lack of air and blood brought the Reptilian to his knees. The mook attempted to grab the president’s arm with his hands, but the lawful authority only strengthened his grip around his victim’s throat.

“I find your lack of taste disturbing,” Ryan said, his tone promising only death.

“I’m… I’m sorry…” the Reptilian managed to sputter, his reptilian face turning purple.

“I’m sorry who, handbag?”

“I’m sorry… Mr. President…”

Ryan released the protester, and let him gasp for breath. He glanced at the other Psychos, who all straightened up. Frank carefully grabbed the president’s old clothes and put them in the briefcase.

“Alright then, mooks, listen up,” Ryan addressed his troops, as he put his trusty coil gun around his belt, and the Fisty Brothers on top of his velvet gloves. “Our goal is to reach the base’s mainframe thanks to a shortcut, and allow our brain-dead friend to hook up with it.”

“I’m not—”

“Are you questioning my authority?” Ryan asked Alchemo. “Because I respect freedom of speech.”

The Genius glanced at the Reptilian, who had barely recovered from the choking. “Two years,” Alchemo said, “and it’s still the same nonsense.”

“I love democracy.” Ryan promptly continued with his explanations. “Your job is to make sure he reaches his destination. Frank and Darkling will force a path forward, and we’ll follow suit.”

The steel giant immediately made a salute, having put the briefcase aside. “Yes, Mr. President.”

No answer from his back-up though.

“Darkling? Darkling?” Ryan glanced at his favorite ball of black goo. “Darkling, are you giving me the silent treatment?”

“... my name not Darkling...” the slime answered unconvincingly, its countless eyes looking away.

“Then what is it?” the president asked smugly.

“... not Darkling.”

Alright, Not-Darkling it was.

Psycho’s life is nasty, brutish, and short.” Ryan put his hands on

repeat, from Psyshock going to the past, Sarin

started looping, this run

he had memorized the shortcut itinerary suggested by Nora, Ryan expected to face heavy resistance. Big Fat Adam had lost most of his men reaching the mainframe, after all, which meant that the things on the other side could kill Genomes. One laser to the head, a single fluke, and this run would end

gotten this far without taking risks,

stepped aside and raised his coil gun, “Sarin, be a dear and use your

show you a vibrator...” His second-in-command raised her hands, and blasted

was immediately welcomed with a hail of laser

a stray ray could hit her. On the other side of the broken door, the courier glimpsed a squadron of cyclopean androids, each firing

robot squadron. The giant crushed anything in his path, his body absorbing the

at their formation’s center, with the Psychos

All hell broke loose.

barely took a step before he had to dodge a bullet, as the walls opened to reveal twin miniguns on each side. A volley hit Ink Machine

group, Ryan froze time and shot both weapons with his coil gun. Thankfully, the projectiles were powerful enough to perforate the turrets, blowing large holes

stay idle. Sarin assisted Frank by blasting away robots with shockwaves, with the Reptilian tackling any tin can approaching her too closely. Ink Machine leaped around the room and used her liquid form to seep inside a robot and take it over, using

closer examination: her tentacled shadow was the real her, and the shining woman a mere illusion.

robots moved their

of her power and figure out a

of all, the way they moved, avoiding friendly fire, and coordinating almost perfectly… they

that same intelligence had identified Alchemo as a key target; perhaps because Ryan and the others focused on protecting

medic!” Ryan shouted while pointing at Alchemo, the shoggoth immediately switching from attacking robots to protecting the Genius. The ooze swirled around Alchemo like

This time, they focused on Ryan. Five robots unleashed a volley of lasers in his direction, and a sixth attempted to tackle

opened my mouth?” Ryan taunted them while he activated his power. He leaped out of the lasers’ way

hat the moment time resumed, infuriating him. Ryan angrily retaliated by shooting down the machines holding Gemini with his coil gun, freeing the Psycho. Her shadow quickly tore the remaining

took the shape of a large dome, with the ceiling layered with holographic projections representing the

small holes opened all over the dome. Eye-shaped drones flew through, and opened fire at the group with submachine guns. Darkling immediately reshaped itself into a slimy barrier, shielding the entire group from

turning supernova and unleashing a blinding light. Blast doors on

protect Alchemo, Frank rampaged through the ground-bound machines, his metal body shrugging off lasers easily

to push his second-in-command out of a bullet’s path and to hit the

rest of the group didn’t fare any better. Cyclopean robots were trying the same ‘shadow grab’ tactic their predecessors used on Gemini, except this time with greater numbers. Eight robots grabbed the Psycho’s shadow from all sides, and then started dismembering her. Gemini’s light body flickered out and collapsed

Ink Machine, and incinerated her with sustained laser beams. The

the Reptilian had only avoided death

left once he had a brief respite, near a junction between the

obeyed all the same. Her gauntlets vibrated, and she started targeting the spot with shockwaves. Cracks

Reptilian. Only Frank was left out, but he clearly didn’t need help. Eventually, Hazmat Girl blew a wide hole in

to the

mode, barked orders. “Reptilian, with us!” he ordered, while Sarin leaped into the hole. “Frank, Darkling,

jumping into the void. Frank and Darkling moved to cover the hole behind them, snatching any eye-drone attempting to follow through. The two titans remained there, brave Spartiates

allies landed in a strange, ghastly gallery of vats and glass containers. Each of them contained half-formed humanoid bodies, some with their organs floating in colored liquid; while they had human features, the creatures’ limbs were unnaturally long,

A Genome research lab.

Ryan guessed to be Elixirs. The Reptilian, in particular, could barely restrain himself from

we going next?” Sarin asked, pointing at

at a key point in the gallery’s right steel wall, right behind a

a steel panel, and released colored gas from her fingers. The wall rusted at an accelerated rate while Ryan raised his eyes at the hole above his head.

hands on the ground. Apparently, his enhanced senses allowed him to notice slight vibrations. “I sense something coming from the left. A robot, bigger than

well, it couldn’t be a dungeon raid without a boss at the end. “Braindead, behind me,” Ryan said, pushing the Genius closer

that, Mr. President,” the

raised his hand to mimic a choking

walked through. The creature looked like a vat on six steely spider legs, with two mechanical hands at the front. Crimson liquid swirled inside the vat, as an energy bolt raced through the substance; Ryan could see a tiny crimson spot at the center, a speck-sized portal leading to a realm of overwhelming

immediately rushed at the robot, but never reached his target. The machine pointed a hand at the Psycho, and a crimson glow lifted

was a telekinetic Genome. A true telekinetic, capable of applying force to anything with Red Flux energy

it flattened the Psycho. The scene reminded Ryan of

turned its attention towards Ryan, raising a

from his current position and firing

by trying to slam him against a wall. Only the courier’s use of time-stop

by telekinetically ripping out steel panels from the walls, and throwing them

as well be speaking to a wall, so

the right moment, Ryan punched the machine’s left arm at the joints, snapping it in half with Fisty. He hoped it would disrupt its telekinesis; the courier couldn’t afford smashing the glass

fashioned for war, and didn’t rupture from the courier’s

tried to follow, but the machine attempted to grind him into paste with its remaining arm. Though the time-traveler managed to activate his time-stop and move away each time the creature started applying

through the ceiling’s

horror swallowed the machine with its black ooze, its mere proximity negating the machine’s telekinesis like Alphonse Manada’s radiation. The

dark friend!” Ryan said as he fled into

courier made his way into the bunker’s command room, crimson lights and screens flickering above his head. A red

help our brainy friend,” Ryan told Sarin, as he reloaded his coil gun and opened fire at a turret. A projectile

at it. Then, he started riding it like a bull, forcefully aiming it at the other weapons in the

giant brain; part

and connecting

turrets abruptly stopped firing a single shot. The one that Ryan had seized

it over?” Sarin asked, glancing at the turrets as if

lukewarm. “I’m changing the admin privileges and ID credentials, so it registers us

said, “so I would call this operation a

lost a few redshirts, but the information gathered on the defenses would serve

area to the holographic observatory. Frank had piled up a hill of robots at the center, which somewhat obscured the camera’s vision of the