The Perfect Run

“This is the Berlin Wall,” Ryan said, as he stood between his troops and a blast door, “the last frontier between western civilization, and complete annihilation.”

He glanced at his minions, all ready to die for their country, and because they had little choice. Sarin kept her arms crossed, carrying herself with dignity in this dark hour. Darkling lurked in a corner, still sore about its nickname. Alchemo grunted, eager to see the mission done. The rest of the cannon fodder, Gemini, the Reptilian, and Ink Machine waited anxiously; knowing that as red shirts, their odds of survival were slim.

The Land, Mosquito, and a few others remained above ground to protect the Junkyard. Rakshasa had the critical task of appeasing their ever-numerous rabbit overlords, before their numbers reached critical mass; a doomed task, unfortunately. As for Incognito, Ryan had sent him to Dynamis, to lay the groundwork for the run’s final operation.

The last member of the crack team soon showed up, holding a black briefcase. “It’s here, Mr. President,” Frank declared, as he presented the holy item to his dark master. “The Nuclear Football. It came with the mail.”

Ryan held his breath, as he touched the soft leather with anticipation. He had been careful to order it through a complex route, so the sender wouldn’t learn her client’s identity, but his efforts had paid off. At long last, the courier’s diabolical plan had reached fruition.

“What’s that, Boss?” Sarin asked, a bit confused. “A secret weapon?”

“The only one that matters.”

Ryan stopped time, and when it resumed, his clothes had fallen on the floor except for the boxers. His display of manliness was welcomed with surprise and shock. “Oh my…” Ink Machine said, a bit surprised.

“Not again, you exhibitionist!” Alchemo complained. “If you lead us to battle naked, I’m taking the door!”

“Eh,” Sarin said, as she glanced at Ryan’s boxers. “I’ve seen bigger weapons of mass destruction.”

The president ignored the masses, as he slowly opened the briefcase and gazed upon the dark power within.

Wardrobe’s presidential costume.

Unlike his previous clothes, it was pure black and red; this time, there would be no more playing around. This suit was unlike anything Ryan’s foes had faced before: unrelenting, merciless, uncompromising.

Ryan slowly and silently put it on before his troops, to establish his stylish dominance over them.

The dark pants first, because it was cold in the bunker. They fit his body curves perfectly, and oozed villainous sex appeal.

Then he put on the black leather boots, to stomp protesters’ faces. With skull-themed socks.

A cashmere red shirt and black suit, Karl Lagerfeld style. Because when you embraced the dark side, you dressed German.

A strong and powerful necktie, to represent his authoritarian, unflinching leadership.

Velvet gloves, to choke his minions when they talked back.

A black jacket, that would flow with the wind when he looked threatening atop rooftops.

A red and silver mask covered most of his head, except for the eyes, so that his evil gaze may terrify children.

And finally, a savage bowler hat, to show he meant business.

No light. No hope. Only one word.

“Perfect,” Ryan said, deepening his voice to sound more intimidating.

His men remained too intimidated to say anything, except for the idiot of the group. “I don’t find it anything special,” the Reptilian said. “And I think it’s a bit too edg—”

In response, Ryan choked him with one hand.

It had taken him years to master this move, but the sudden lack of air and blood brought the Reptilian to his knees. The mook attempted to grab the president’s arm with his hands, but the lawful authority only strengthened his grip around his victim’s throat.

“I find your lack of taste disturbing,” Ryan said, his tone promising only death.

“I’m… I’m sorry…” the Reptilian managed to sputter, his reptilian face turning purple.

“I’m sorry who, handbag?”

“I’m sorry… Mr. President…”

Ryan released the protester, and let him gasp for breath. He glanced at the other Psychos, who all straightened up. Frank carefully grabbed the president’s old clothes and put them in the briefcase.

“Alright then, mooks, listen up,” Ryan addressed his troops, as he put his trusty coil gun around his belt, and the Fisty Brothers on top of his velvet gloves. “Our goal is to reach the base’s mainframe thanks to a shortcut, and allow our brain-dead friend to hook up with it.”

“I’m not—”

“Are you questioning my authority?” Ryan asked Alchemo. “Because I respect freedom of speech.”

The Genius glanced at the Reptilian, who had barely recovered from the choking. “Two years,” Alchemo said, “and it’s still the same nonsense.”

“I love democracy.” Ryan promptly continued with his explanations. “Your job is to make sure he reaches his destination. Frank and Darkling will force a path forward, and we’ll follow suit.”

The steel giant immediately made a salute, having put the briefcase aside. “Yes, Mr. President.”

No answer from his back-up though.

“Darkling? Darkling?” Ryan glanced at his favorite ball of black goo. “Darkling, are you giving me the silent treatment?”

“... my name not Darkling...” the slime answered unconvincingly, its countless eyes looking away.

“Then what is it?” the president asked smugly.

“... not Darkling.”

Alright, Not-Darkling it was.

a Psycho’s life is nasty, brutish, and short.” Ryan put his hands on his waist, Darth Vader

circumstances that made it possible wouldn’t repeat, from Psyshock going to the past, Sarin acting as a guard, or Darkling using Ghoul as a vessel at the right time. Nor could the courier expect the

Ryan had started looping, this run would be a

he had memorized the shortcut itinerary suggested by Nora, Ryan expected to face heavy resistance. Big Fat Adam had lost most of his men reaching the mainframe, after all, which meant

without taking risks, and Len

stepped aside and raised his coil gun, “Sarin, be a

raised her hands, and blasted

was immediately welcomed with a

door, the courier glimpsed a squadron

the robot squadron. The giant crushed anything in

and the group followed. Ryan and Alchemo remained at their formation’s center, with the Psychos forming an

All hell broke loose.

walls opened to reveal twin miniguns on each side. A volley

his coil

tin can approaching her too closely. Ink Machine leaped

pulled her weight. While appearing like an ethereal woman of shining light at first glance, Ryan had realized the truth upon closer examination: her tentacled shadow was the real her, and the shining woman a mere illusion. And that

corridor’s lights suddenly increased in luminosity. Two robots moved their pitch-black shadows in such a way, that they seemed to grab

of her power and figure out a

things could learn. Worst of all, the way they moved, avoiding friendly fire, and coordinating almost perfectly… they weren’t individual units,

Alchemo as a key target;

while pointing at Alchemo, the shoggoth immediately switching from attacking robots to protecting the Genius. The ooze swirled around Alchemo like a barrier without touching him, stopping any laser from

focused on Ryan. Five robots unleashed a volley of lasers in his direction, and a sixth attempted to

leaped out of the lasers’ way in the frozen time, before smashing

moment time resumed, infuriating him. Ryan angrily retaliated by shooting down the machines holding Gemini with his coil

resumed his rampage and smashed through the next door. The new room beyond the hallway took the shape of a large dome,

and opened fire at the group with submachine

light. Blast doors on the walls opened and more cyclopean androids walked through, an

machines, his metal body shrugging off lasers easily enough. Unfortunately, his lack of range prevented him from hitting the floating eyes, leaving the

push his second-in-command out of a bullet’s path and to hit the

same ‘shadow grab’ tactic their predecessors used on Gemini, except this time with greater numbers. Eight robots grabbed the Psycho’s shadow from all sides, and then started dismembering her.

machines had cornered Ink Machine, and incinerated her with sustained laser beams. The liquid Psycho dissipated

Reptilian had only avoided death

left once he had a brief respite, near a junction between the dome’s wall and the floor.

started targeting the spot with shockwaves. Cracks

the Reptilian. Only Frank was left out, but he clearly didn’t

to the

in full general mode, barked orders. “Reptilian, with us!” he

Reptilian and Ryan to grab him like a potato sack before jumping into the void. Frank and Darkling moved to cover the hole behind them, snatching any eye-drone attempting to follow

vats and glass containers. Each of them contained half-formed humanoid bodies, some with their organs floating in colored liquid; while they had

A Genome research lab.

be Elixirs. The Reptilian, in

asked, pointing at two blast

Ryan instead glanced at a key point in the gallery’s right steel wall, right behind a green vat. If they

while Ryan raised his eyes at the hole above his

enhanced senses allowed him to notice slight vibrations. “I sense something coming from the

the end. “Braindead, behind me,” Ryan said, pushing the Genius

rather avoid that, Mr. President,”

hand to mimic a choking motion, and the

vat on six steely spider legs, with two mechanical hands at the front. Crimson liquid swirled inside the vat, as an energy bolt raced through the substance; Ryan could see a tiny crimson spot at the center, a speck-sized portal leading to a

reached his target. The machine pointed a hand at the Psycho, and a crimson

true telekinetic, capable of applying force to anything with Red

machine sent the Reptilian flying at the ceiling with such force, it flattened the Psycho. The scene reminded Ryan of a mosquito being crushed by a flyswatter, the mangled body falling on the ground when the

thing had turned its attention towards Ryan, raising a steel hand

air, immediately moving away from his current position and firing a shot. The

yourself with that power?” Ryan taunted the machine, which answered by trying to slam him against a wall. Only the courier’s use of time-stop and enhanced timing allowed him to avoid the Reptilian’s fate. “I hope those hands aren’t

ripping out steel panels from the walls, and throwing them

fun to banter with a mindless machine. The courier might as well be speaking to a wall, so

its telekinesis; the courier couldn’t afford smashing the glass container in close combat, or he might risk being drenched in Elixir. The arm fell off when time resumed, but the robot instantly retaliated by trying to

for war, and didn’t rupture

and escaped inside with Alchemo. The courier tried to follow, but the machine attempted to grind him into paste with its remaining arm. Though the time-traveler managed to activate his time-stop and move

slither through the ceiling’s hole, and fell directly

swallowed the machine with its black ooze, its mere proximity negating the machine’s telekinesis like Alphonse Manada’s radiation. The shoggoth dissolved the Red Elixir inside the vat, absorbing the liquid and the portal into

fled into the tunnel, leaving his

bunker’s command room, crimson lights and screens flickering above his head. A red forcefield shielded the central, biomechanical brain, which Alchemo desperately attempted to bypass. Sarin, meanwhile, struggled to hit the

care of the turrets, help our brainy friend,” Ryan told Sarin, as he reloaded his coil gun and opened fire at a turret. A projectile went through the machine and caused it to

aiming it at the other weapons in the room. A hail of bullets flew

the metal pedestal holding the giant brain; part of it rusted, and caused the forcefield to short-out. Alchemo immediately used

intertwined with the giant brain, nailing it with his syringe-fingers and connecting to the alien machinery. Blue lightning raced

Ryan had seized deactivated, much

glancing at the turrets as if expecting them to open

was lukewarm. “I’m changing the admin privileges and ID credentials, so it registers us as

Ryan said, “so I would call

might have lost a few redshirts, but the information gathered on the

the holographic observatory. Frank had piled up a hill of robots at the center, which somewhat obscured the camera’s