The Perfect Run

“This is the Berlin Wall,” Ryan said, as he stood between his troops and a blast door, “the last frontier between western civilization, and complete annihilation.”

He glanced at his minions, all ready to die for their country, and because they had little choice. Sarin kept her arms crossed, carrying herself with dignity in this dark hour. Darkling lurked in a corner, still sore about its nickname. Alchemo grunted, eager to see the mission done. The rest of the cannon fodder, Gemini, the Reptilian, and Ink Machine waited anxiously; knowing that as red shirts, their odds of survival were slim.

The Land, Mosquito, and a few others remained above ground to protect the Junkyard. Rakshasa had the critical task of appeasing their ever-numerous rabbit overlords, before their numbers reached critical mass; a doomed task, unfortunately. As for Incognito, Ryan had sent him to Dynamis, to lay the groundwork for the run’s final operation.

The last member of the crack team soon showed up, holding a black briefcase. “It’s here, Mr. President,” Frank declared, as he presented the holy item to his dark master. “The Nuclear Football. It came with the mail.”

Ryan held his breath, as he touched the soft leather with anticipation. He had been careful to order it through a complex route, so the sender wouldn’t learn her client’s identity, but his efforts had paid off. At long last, the courier’s diabolical plan had reached fruition.

“What’s that, Boss?” Sarin asked, a bit confused. “A secret weapon?”

“The only one that matters.”

Ryan stopped time, and when it resumed, his clothes had fallen on the floor except for the boxers. His display of manliness was welcomed with surprise and shock. “Oh my…” Ink Machine said, a bit surprised.

“Not again, you exhibitionist!” Alchemo complained. “If you lead us to battle naked, I’m taking the door!”

“Eh,” Sarin said, as she glanced at Ryan’s boxers. “I’ve seen bigger weapons of mass destruction.”

The president ignored the masses, as he slowly opened the briefcase and gazed upon the dark power within.

Wardrobe’s presidential costume.

Unlike his previous clothes, it was pure black and red; this time, there would be no more playing around. This suit was unlike anything Ryan’s foes had faced before: unrelenting, merciless, uncompromising.

Ryan slowly and silently put it on before his troops, to establish his stylish dominance over them.

The dark pants first, because it was cold in the bunker. They fit his body curves perfectly, and oozed villainous sex appeal.

Then he put on the black leather boots, to stomp protesters’ faces. With skull-themed socks.

A cashmere red shirt and black suit, Karl Lagerfeld style. Because when you embraced the dark side, you dressed German.

A strong and powerful necktie, to represent his authoritarian, unflinching leadership.

Velvet gloves, to choke his minions when they talked back.

A black jacket, that would flow with the wind when he looked threatening atop rooftops.

A red and silver mask covered most of his head, except for the eyes, so that his evil gaze may terrify children.

And finally, a savage bowler hat, to show he meant business.

No light. No hope. Only one word.

“Perfect,” Ryan said, deepening his voice to sound more intimidating.

His men remained too intimidated to say anything, except for the idiot of the group. “I don’t find it anything special,” the Reptilian said. “And I think it’s a bit too edg—”

In response, Ryan choked him with one hand.

It had taken him years to master this move, but the sudden lack of air and blood brought the Reptilian to his knees. The mook attempted to grab the president’s arm with his hands, but the lawful authority only strengthened his grip around his victim’s throat.

“I find your lack of taste disturbing,” Ryan said, his tone promising only death.

“I’m… I’m sorry…” the Reptilian managed to sputter, his reptilian face turning purple.

“I’m sorry who, handbag?”

“I’m sorry… Mr. President…”

Ryan released the protester, and let him gasp for breath. He glanced at the other Psychos, who all straightened up. Frank carefully grabbed the president’s old clothes and put them in the briefcase.

“Alright then, mooks, listen up,” Ryan addressed his troops, as he put his trusty coil gun around his belt, and the Fisty Brothers on top of his velvet gloves. “Our goal is to reach the base’s mainframe thanks to a shortcut, and allow our brain-dead friend to hook up with it.”

“I’m not—”

“Are you questioning my authority?” Ryan asked Alchemo. “Because I respect freedom of speech.”

The Genius glanced at the Reptilian, who had barely recovered from the choking. “Two years,” Alchemo said, “and it’s still the same nonsense.”

“I love democracy.” Ryan promptly continued with his explanations. “Your job is to make sure he reaches his destination. Frank and Darkling will force a path forward, and we’ll follow suit.”

The steel giant immediately made a salute, having put the briefcase aside. “Yes, Mr. President.”

No answer from his back-up though.

“Darkling? Darkling?” Ryan glanced at his favorite ball of black goo. “Darkling, are you giving me the silent treatment?”

“... my name not Darkling...” the slime answered unconvincingly, its countless eyes looking away.

“Then what is it?” the president asked smugly.

“... not Darkling.”

Alright, Not-Darkling it was.

and short.” Ryan put his hands on his waist, Darth Vader style. “Our fists and guns

from Psyshock going to the past, Sarin acting as a guard, or Darkling

since Ryan had started looping, this run would

to face heavy resistance. Big Fat Adam had lost most of his men reaching the mainframe, after all,

hadn’t gotten this far without

stepped aside and raised his coil gun, “Sarin, be a dear and use your

His second-in-command raised her hands,

was immediately welcomed with a hail

ray could hit her. On the other side of the broken door, the courier glimpsed a squadron of cyclopean androids, each firing rays from

time resumed, before bull-rushing the robot squadron. The giant crushed anything in his path, his body absorbing the

remained at their formation’s center, with the Psychos forming an escort around the two

All hell broke loose.

reveal twin miniguns on each side. A volley hit Ink Machine by surprise, but her liquid body caused the projectiles to

with his coil gun. Thankfully, the projectiles were powerful enough to perforate the turrets, blowing large

tin can approaching her too closely. Ink Machine leaped around the room and used her

realized the truth upon closer examination: her tentacled shadow was the real her, and the shining woman a mere illusion. And that

their

Gemini’s own. It had only taken the machines a few minutes to guess the nature of her power and figure out a counter. They had also realized that Frank could absorb metal on touch, and switched from trying to dogpile him

Worst of all, the way they moved, avoiding friendly fire, and coordinating almost perfectly…

Alchemo as a key target; perhaps because Ryan and the others focused

shield the medic!” Ryan shouted while pointing at Alchemo, the shoggoth immediately switching from attacking robots to protecting the Genius. The ooze swirled around Alchemo like a barrier without touching him, stopping any laser from coming his

the machines switched targets. This time, they focused on Ryan. Five robots unleashed a volley of lasers in his direction, and a sixth attempted

activated his power. He leaped out of the lasers’ way in the frozen time, before smashing the sixth robot’s chest in with Fisty. “Haven’t you looked at

retaliated by shooting down the machines holding Gemini with

the next door. The new room beyond the hallway took the shape of a large dome, with the

have time to look at the beautiful spectacle, as small holes opened all over the dome. Eye-shaped drones flew through, and opened fire at

unleashing a blinding light. Blast doors on

lasers easily enough. Unfortunately, his

both to push his second-in-command out of a

same ‘shadow grab’ tactic their predecessors used on Gemini, except this time with greater numbers. Eight robots grabbed the Psycho’s shadow from all sides, and then started dismembering her. Gemini’s light body flickered out and collapsed in a

beams. The liquid Psycho dissipated into colored steam, her body unable to stand the

only avoided death so far

his left once he had a brief respite, near a junction between the dome’s wall and the floor. “The structural

complained, but obeyed all the same. Her gauntlets vibrated, and she started targeting the spot with shockwaves. Cracks slowly

Alchemo, Ryan, and the Reptilian. Only Frank was left out, but he clearly didn’t need help. Eventually, Hazmat Girl blew a wide hole in the

path to the

in full general mode, barked orders. “Reptilian, with us!” he ordered, while Sarin leaped into the hole.

him like a potato sack before jumping into the void. Frank and Darkling moved to cover the hole behind them, snatching any eye-drone attempting to follow

of them contained half-formed humanoid bodies, some with their organs floating in

A Genome research lab.

walls filled the vats with what Ryan guessed to be Elixirs. The Reptilian, in particular, could

next?” Sarin asked, pointing at two blast

instead glanced at a key point in the gallery’s right steel wall, right behind a green

released colored gas from her fingers. The wall rusted at an accelerated rate while Ryan raised his eyes at the hole above his head. Thankfully, Darkling had wisely sealed the hole with its body, preventing drones

ground. Apparently, his enhanced senses allowed him to notice slight vibrations. “I sense something coming from the left. A robot, bigger than

Ryan said, pushing the Genius closer to Sarin. “Reptilian, hold the

that, Mr. President,” the reptile

his hand to mimic a choking motion,

seconds later, and a three meters-tall machine walked through. The creature looked like a vat on six steely spider legs, with two mechanical hands at the front. Crimson liquid swirled inside the vat, as an energy bolt raced through the substance; Ryan could see a

rushed at the robot, but never reached his target. The machine pointed a hand at the Psycho, and a crimson glow lifted him

was a telekinetic Genome. A true telekinetic, capable of applying force to anything

sent the Reptilian flying at the ceiling with such force, it flattened the Psycho. The scene reminded Ryan of a mosquito being crushed by a

the thing had turned its attention towards Ryan, raising a steel hand

and firing a shot. The coil gun’s projectile bounced off the strange glass protecting the red substance, much to

against a wall.

machine answered by telekinetically ripping out steel panels from

to banter with a mindless machine. The courier might as well be speaking to a

at the right moment, Ryan punched the machine’s left arm at the joints, snapping it in half with Fisty. He hoped it would disrupt its telekinesis; the courier couldn’t afford smashing the glass container in close combat, or he might risk being drenched in Elixir. The arm fell off when time resumed, but the

for war, and didn’t rupture from the courier’s

tunnel and escaped inside with Alchemo. The courier tried to follow, but the machine attempted to grind him into paste with its remaining arm. Though the

ceiling’s

black ooze, its mere proximity negating the machine’s telekinesis like Alphonse Manada’s radiation. The shoggoth dissolved the Red Elixir inside the vat, absorbing the liquid

he fled into the tunnel, leaving his pet shoggoth to its

his head. A red forcefield shielded the central, biomechanical brain, which Alchemo desperately attempted to bypass. Sarin, meanwhile, struggled to hit

the turrets, help our brainy friend,” Ryan told Sarin, as he reloaded his coil gun and

started riding it like a bull, forcefully aiming it at the other weapons in the room. A hail of bullets flew across the room once time resumed,

holding the giant brain; part of it rusted, and caused the forcefield to short-out. Alchemo immediately used

connecting to the alien

the turrets abruptly stopped firing a single shot. The one that Ryan had seized deactivated, much to his disappointment.

at the turrets as if expecting them to open fire

answer was lukewarm. “I’m changing the admin privileges and ID credentials,

tremors or gunfire,” Ryan said, “so I would call

the information gathered on the defenses would serve him

piled up a hill of robots at the center, which somewhat obscured the camera’s vision of the room. Other screens showed underground