The Perfect Run

For the first time in centuries, Ryan woke up at peace with himself.

Certainly, he had had good mornings in the past. Waking up next to Jasmine would remain one of his most cherished memories. But nothing could compare to this beautiful moment. His body was numb from the endorphins; the tension in his muscles had long vanished. He could have stayed in his bed all day, smiling at the ceiling.

Ryan Romano was happy.

It took a herculean effort of will to rise up and put on his presidential costume, for he still had work to do. As he dressed, the courier glanced at the hole a robot made in his bowler hat. One loop ago, the cruel sight would have triggered an epic, city-destroying rampage.

But not today.

Ryan emerged from his room smiling behind his mask, and found Frank keeping watch in front of the doors. The giant immediately welcomed him with a military salute. “Good morning, Mr. President. Nothing to report.”

Ryan smiled at the poor, deluded creature, his heart full of warmth and compassion. “Agent Frank,” he said while putting a hand on the man’s back, though he had to stand on his toes. “You are the greatest hero this nation’s ever had. You are everything an American citizen should be.”

His kind words shook the titan to the core. Frank would have cried, if he wasn’t made of metal. “Thank you, Mr. President. Everything I do is to honor my father. He died from a KFC overdose while hanging Nazis with a lasso.”

“A most American way to die. He would be so proud of you, son.”

Though Ryan would have to make sure Frank and Len never ended up in the same room. He had the intuition it would backfire.

Leaving his favorite guard to his watch, Ryan moved into the recreational area while whistling to himself. He didn’t care about the hanged gremlins dangling from the ceiling, or how Rakshasa struggled to clean up a blood puddle on the floor.

Everything just felt… right.

“Oh, you’re awake, boss?” Ryan glanced at the speaker, noticing Sarin playing pool with Mosquito. The bugman had bandages all over his shoulders and wings. “We’ve got a problem. The rabbits kept pestering the kids to play outside, and they moved into the Junkyard after killing all the gremlins.”

“They flogged me when I tried to stop them,” Mosquito complained, pointing at the bandages. “They flogged me.”

“That too.”

“It’s okay,” Ryan replied calmly. If the plushies didn’t destroy the world today, it would be something else, like an asteroid or a plague. No biggie.

Hazmat Girl didn’t look convinced. “Didn’t you stress that your rabbits shouldn’t go outside under any circumsta—”

“My dear lovely Sarin.” Ryan put his hands on his VP’s shoulders. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise you, darling.”

“Are you high?” she asked while abandoning her cue, sounding disgusted with her superior. “I know we have a juice production facility, but… what’s the saying…”

“Don’t get high on your own product. I know, I ran a drug cartel.” Which turned out great! “Sarin, I have something to say. You’re not the best sidekick I had, that would be the but I like you. I like you very much.”

Sarin pushed Ryan back and raised a vibrating fist in his direction. He had opened his heart to her, and that was how she reacted? “Okay, what’s wrong with you? You’re weirder than usual.”

“I feel like being nice today,” Ryan said, letting out a sigh of pure bliss. “No cruel joke, no sarcasm, no mean remarks. Just pure kindness.”

“Well get back to normal, you’re creeping the shit out of me.”

“I prefer him this way,” Mosquito said, immediately trying to exploit the situation. “Does that mean we get free juice today, since you’re in a good mood?”

“Of course, dear leech,” Ryan said, the bugman loudly rejoicing. “Enjoy your day off, my friends. For tomorrow, we’ll go to war.”

Manada’s ultimatum expired the day after, and while Ryan had a plan to get rid of him, it would involve a clash with Il Migliore. Perhaps even the Carnival, if the two groups already made contact during this loop.

Now that the president had secured his white house and electoral base, he would take the city by storm.

The elevator to the lower levels opened before Ryan could explain his plan to his trusty minions. Mongrel stepped out first, followed by a blonde woman with bloodshot eyes. She kept her head down and avoided others’ gazes, as if afraid of overstepping.

It took Ryan a split second to recognize Acid Rain.

Her behavior, her posture, the way she moved… everything but her appearance had changed. She gave off an entirely different vibe than the murderous madwoman the courier had grown used to. Her posture screamed meek.

“Rain?” Mosquito asked, probably expecting the violent maniac to flip out and murder them. “Rain, is that you?”

“I’m, uh… I’m Helen.” Even her voice wasn’t the same, now that she didn’t scream all the time. “That’s my real name. Helen.”

“Who let you out?” Sarin asked, pointing her hands at her.

“The Doc. He said I… that the treatment worked.” Acid Rain scratched the back of her head as everyone looked at her in shock, before smiling sheepishly at Ryan. “Sorry I tried to kill you before. I… I wasn’t thinking straight.”

forgive you.” Ryan’s heart overflowed with compassion, and Sarin lowered her gauntlets. “I’m just happy you still have

too,” Mongrel spoke, his

immediately turned in his

though my brain hurts when I speak.” Mongrel held his head in his hand. “I think my grey matter slowly fills the

smiling at Ryan. “Thanks for helping. I… I’m truly

treatment won’t last forever, from what I gathered,” Mongrel

than normal humans. Eventually, their mutations would adapt to Alchemo’s treatment, and the two Psychos would descend back

he would make it right. “We have the tools to figure out a permanent solution,” he

this,” Mongrel said. “I don’t wanna go back to eating rats, ya dig? Never

his plight. “You

ruins, but it didn’t do anything. I read White Genomes affected other Genomes, but I couldn’t get my power to work. So I figured, hey, there’s gotta be faulty Elixirs

drank a

Much like how Casper the ghost only transformed post-mortem,

confirmed with a nod. “I swear, if you find a cure, I’m never touching

us in the back either?” Mosquito asked Acid Rain. “You gutted

young woman shook her head, her eyes betraying her

the benefit of the doubt. “Something has been bugging me,” the courier said, seizing the opportunity to interrogate her. “In your insane state,

her days as a madwoman. “Well, I don’t remember everything. It’s all a haze. But… I think it’s because of the

portal?” Ryan frowned behind

Rain searched for the right words. “When I switch with my raindrops it’s… it’s not instantaneous. It looks like it from the outside, but from my point of view… everything goes purple, and I move from one spot to another

you teleport, using it as a shortcut through space.” It explained why their powers could sense the other activating. They both shared a

us, watching.” Helen took a deep breath. “I hear voices too. I’m not sure if it’s talking to me, or something

arms. “Thing is, I have been able to open a gate to the Purple World in the

“You could… you could go back in time with that place. I know you could. It’s… all of space and time, it all goes

he beamed with happiness, he was careful enough not to reveal the truth. Especially not now, when things were finally

lost my family because of a… because of a mistake,” Helen said, joining her fingers and looking down.

Violet Elixir, in spite

I could give it to a friend. That

him of a

should do it myself. So he… opened the

as he listened to her tale, and suddenly realized that Hannifat Lecter’s obsession with force-feeding him an Elixir

It was a habit.

former selves, until they had no other option

to access the Purple World, according to Darkling, the Ultimate One would preserve causality and avoid time-paradoxes. “But we’re going to help you, at least. I swear

made Ryan feel sorry for Acid Rain, of all people. She gathered her breath, and

you could ask the Augusti?” Mosquito suggested. Did he rediscover an ember of humanity? “I heard Mercury could raise the dead, and we made peace with

returning to the pool game. She wasn’t one for emotional moments. “Anyone else wanna

Mongrel said, before looking at the dead gremlins dangling from the ceiling. “Also, why are there dead hanged animals

she sent an 8-ball rolling

chose that moment to roll into the room, avoiding a blood puddle and immediately rushing at Acid Rain’s feet. “Hey, blondie,” the toaster greeted Helen, as it put

absolute confusion, and then

I’ve got butter,” Toasty said seductively. His game was atrocious, but then again, he was a toaster.

you get butter when you don’t have arms?”

us,” Toasty replied. “When are you putting me inside that big

“Tomorrow, my friend. Tomorrow.”

robots and

never

his devilish

holographic dome. Ryan had disabled the cameras and microphones for privacy,

could trust the screens on the walls and the information banks they showed, the room used to be an archive of some sort. A holographic projector at the chamber’s center showed a map of planet Earth, with half a dozen glowing red points around Eurasia.

told Len, upon finding her working on the brain-copying machine. She had repurposed a desk into an improvised workbench. “You look

to seeing dark circles around Len’s eyes, but not today. She looked as well-rested as

I… I feel good. Alchemo gave me pills, and they work much better

to admit the Genius could do a great deal of good when he wanted to. If the courier learned how to reproduce his miracle drugs, he could provide Len with treatment across loops. In time, she might

this device with reverence. It had saved him from centuries of loneliness. “Now we proved it works and Psyshock won’t follow us again,

would

time-traveled,” Len admitted. “When I looked at Sarah, and how she had never seen my sanctuary, I…

as he sat on the workbench. “Now we can bring more people into the loop. I

lower lip. “The machine can only send one brain map back in time at once. Maybe I can

“And we’ll need to rebuild the machine and send you back each time in an unbroken chain.

have a place where we can store the memories,” Len confirmed