The Perfect Run

For the first time in centuries, Ryan woke up at peace with himself.

Certainly, he had had good mornings in the past. Waking up next to Jasmine would remain one of his most cherished memories. But nothing could compare to this beautiful moment. His body was numb from the endorphins; the tension in his muscles had long vanished. He could have stayed in his bed all day, smiling at the ceiling.

Ryan Romano was happy.

It took a herculean effort of will to rise up and put on his presidential costume, for he still had work to do. As he dressed, the courier glanced at the hole a robot made in his bowler hat. One loop ago, the cruel sight would have triggered an epic, city-destroying rampage.

But not today.

Ryan emerged from his room smiling behind his mask, and found Frank keeping watch in front of the doors. The giant immediately welcomed him with a military salute. “Good morning, Mr. President. Nothing to report.”

Ryan smiled at the poor, deluded creature, his heart full of warmth and compassion. “Agent Frank,” he said while putting a hand on the man’s back, though he had to stand on his toes. “You are the greatest hero this nation’s ever had. You are everything an American citizen should be.”

His kind words shook the titan to the core. Frank would have cried, if he wasn’t made of metal. “Thank you, Mr. President. Everything I do is to honor my father. He died from a KFC overdose while hanging Nazis with a lasso.”

“A most American way to die. He would be so proud of you, son.”

Though Ryan would have to make sure Frank and Len never ended up in the same room. He had the intuition it would backfire.

Leaving his favorite guard to his watch, Ryan moved into the recreational area while whistling to himself. He didn’t care about the hanged gremlins dangling from the ceiling, or how Rakshasa struggled to clean up a blood puddle on the floor.

Everything just felt… right.

“Oh, you’re awake, boss?” Ryan glanced at the speaker, noticing Sarin playing pool with Mosquito. The bugman had bandages all over his shoulders and wings. “We’ve got a problem. The rabbits kept pestering the kids to play outside, and they moved into the Junkyard after killing all the gremlins.”

“They flogged me when I tried to stop them,” Mosquito complained, pointing at the bandages. “They flogged me.”

“That too.”

“It’s okay,” Ryan replied calmly. If the plushies didn’t destroy the world today, it would be something else, like an asteroid or a plague. No biggie.

Hazmat Girl didn’t look convinced. “Didn’t you stress that your rabbits shouldn’t go outside under any circumsta—”

“My dear lovely Sarin.” Ryan put his hands on his VP’s shoulders. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise you, darling.”

“Are you high?” she asked while abandoning her cue, sounding disgusted with her superior. “I know we have a juice production facility, but… what’s the saying…”

“Don’t get high on your own product. I know, I ran a drug cartel.” Which turned out great! “Sarin, I have something to say. You’re not the best sidekick I had, that would be the but I like you. I like you very much.”

Sarin pushed Ryan back and raised a vibrating fist in his direction. He had opened his heart to her, and that was how she reacted? “Okay, what’s wrong with you? You’re weirder than usual.”

“I feel like being nice today,” Ryan said, letting out a sigh of pure bliss. “No cruel joke, no sarcasm, no mean remarks. Just pure kindness.”

“Well get back to normal, you’re creeping the shit out of me.”

“I prefer him this way,” Mosquito said, immediately trying to exploit the situation. “Does that mean we get free juice today, since you’re in a good mood?”

“Of course, dear leech,” Ryan said, the bugman loudly rejoicing. “Enjoy your day off, my friends. For tomorrow, we’ll go to war.”

Manada’s ultimatum expired the day after, and while Ryan had a plan to get rid of him, it would involve a clash with Il Migliore. Perhaps even the Carnival, if the two groups already made contact during this loop.

Now that the president had secured his white house and electoral base, he would take the city by storm.

The elevator to the lower levels opened before Ryan could explain his plan to his trusty minions. Mongrel stepped out first, followed by a blonde woman with bloodshot eyes. She kept her head down and avoided others’ gazes, as if afraid of overstepping.

It took Ryan a split second to recognize Acid Rain.

Her behavior, her posture, the way she moved… everything but her appearance had changed. She gave off an entirely different vibe than the murderous madwoman the courier had grown used to. Her posture screamed meek.

“Rain?” Mosquito asked, probably expecting the violent maniac to flip out and murder them. “Rain, is that you?”

“I’m, uh… I’m Helen.” Even her voice wasn’t the same, now that she didn’t scream all the time. “That’s my real name. Helen.”

“Who let you out?” Sarin asked, pointing her hands at her.

“The Doc. He said I… that the treatment worked.” Acid Rain scratched the back of her head as everyone looked at her in shock, before smiling sheepishly at Ryan. “Sorry I tried to kill you before. I… I wasn’t thinking straight.”

I forgive you.” Ryan’s heart overflowed with compassion, and Sarin lowered her

on me too,” Mongrel spoke, his voice surprising in

head immediately turned in his direction. “You can

in his hand. “I think my grey

Acid Rain said, smiling at Ryan. “Thanks for helping. I… I’m truly grateful, like

what

a tolerance to chemical products much quicker than normal humans. Eventually, their mutations would

it right. “We have the tools to figure out a permanent solution,” he said, glancing at Mongrel. “I have

gonna fight you on this,” Mongrel said. “I don’t wanna go

“You were already barely

So I figured, hey, there’s gotta be faulty Elixirs lying around, and I drew the short end of the stick. I already planned on buying a knockoff before

down his spine. “You drank a knockoff since you believed yourself

itself, it did nothing. Much like how Casper the ghost only transformed post-mortem, some powers needed very specific circumstances to activate,

if you find a cure, I’m never touching an Elixir

aren’t going to stab us in the back either?” Mosquito asked Acid Rain. “You gutted our previous

woman shook her head, her eyes betraying her horror. “I… that wasn’t me.

interrogate her. “In your insane state, you kept rambling about how I barred the gates, and that something called the Ultimate One wanted you

uncomfortable at reliving her days as a madwoman. “Well, I don’t remember everything. It’s all a haze. But… I think it’s

frowned

for the right words. “When I switch with my raindrops it’s… it’s not instantaneous. It looks like it from the outside, but from my point of view… everything goes purple, and I move from one spot to another through

through space.” It explained why their

a weird pyramid thing above us, watching.” Helen took a deep breath. “I hear voices too. I’m not sure if it’s talking to me, or something else, but… I hear people speaking. When I

is, I have been able to open a gate to the Purple World in the past, but only with

up in hope. “You could… you could go back in time with that place. I know you could. It’s… all of space

he was careful enough not to reveal

family because of a… because of a mistake,” Helen said, joining her fingers and looking down. “That’s why I looked for a Violet Elixir. I could already

Violet Elixir, in spite

face turning ghastly, her fingers shaking. “I found one, but… I thought I could give it to a friend. That maybe they would luck out. But Adam... Adam caught

a traumatized victim

back, I… I should do it myself. So he… opened the bottle and...” Her voice

as he listened to her tale, and suddenly realized that Hannifat Lecter’s obsession with force-feeding

It was a habit.

shattered people into broken shells of their former selves, until they had no other option but

Helen,” Ryan apologized, crushing her hopes. Even if he managed to access the Purple World, according to Darkling, the Ultimate One would preserve causality and

said it made Ryan feel sorry for Acid Rain, of all people.

rediscover an ember of humanity? “I heard Mercury

raises them as mindless zombies, you stupid jackass,” Sarin said, before returning to the pool game. She wasn’t one for emotional moments.

Mongrel said, before looking at the dead gremlins dangling from the ceiling. “Also, why are there dead hanged animals

Sarin said, as she

feet. “Hey, blondie,” the toaster greeted Helen, as it put on the charm. “Do

at the toaster in absolute confusion,

Toasty said seductively. His game was atrocious, but then again, he was

butter when you don’t have arms?” Ryan pointed out the

got enough chicks vying for you already, leave some for us,” Toasty replied. “When are you putting me inside that big hot mech in the garage? Then, I’ll

“Tomorrow, my friend. Tomorrow.”

had destroyed robots

never fought

his mooks on his devilish

a modest Genius workshop in one of the underground chambers close to the holographic dome. Ryan had disabled the cameras

room used to be an archive of some sort. A holographic projector at the chamber’s center showed a map of planet

told Len, upon finding her working on the brain-copying machine. She had repurposed a desk into

grown used to seeing dark circles around Len’s eyes, but not today. She looked as well-rested as

I… I feel good. Alchemo gave me pills, and they work

courier learned how to reproduce his miracle drugs, he could provide Len with treatment across loops. In time, she might

with reverence. It had saved him from centuries of loneliness. “Now

loop would probably end

how she had never seen my sanctuary, I… I understood how

the workbench. “Now we can bring more people into the

can only send one brain map back in time at once. Maybe I can improve it and raise that number, but for now… we’re limited to one

quickly understanding the method’s limits. “And we’ll need to rebuild the machine and send you

a place where we can store the memories,” Len confirmed with a