The Perfect Run

For the first time in centuries, Ryan woke up at peace with himself.

Certainly, he had had good mornings in the past. Waking up next to Jasmine would remain one of his most cherished memories. But nothing could compare to this beautiful moment. His body was numb from the endorphins; the tension in his muscles had long vanished. He could have stayed in his bed all day, smiling at the ceiling.

Ryan Romano was happy.

It took a herculean effort of will to rise up and put on his presidential costume, for he still had work to do. As he dressed, the courier glanced at the hole a robot made in his bowler hat. One loop ago, the cruel sight would have triggered an epic, city-destroying rampage.

But not today.

Ryan emerged from his room smiling behind his mask, and found Frank keeping watch in front of the doors. The giant immediately welcomed him with a military salute. “Good morning, Mr. President. Nothing to report.”

Ryan smiled at the poor, deluded creature, his heart full of warmth and compassion. “Agent Frank,” he said while putting a hand on the man’s back, though he had to stand on his toes. “You are the greatest hero this nation’s ever had. You are everything an American citizen should be.”

His kind words shook the titan to the core. Frank would have cried, if he wasn’t made of metal. “Thank you, Mr. President. Everything I do is to honor my father. He died from a KFC overdose while hanging Nazis with a lasso.”

“A most American way to die. He would be so proud of you, son.”

Though Ryan would have to make sure Frank and Len never ended up in the same room. He had the intuition it would backfire.

Leaving his favorite guard to his watch, Ryan moved into the recreational area while whistling to himself. He didn’t care about the hanged gremlins dangling from the ceiling, or how Rakshasa struggled to clean up a blood puddle on the floor.

Everything just felt… right.

“Oh, you’re awake, boss?” Ryan glanced at the speaker, noticing Sarin playing pool with Mosquito. The bugman had bandages all over his shoulders and wings. “We’ve got a problem. The rabbits kept pestering the kids to play outside, and they moved into the Junkyard after killing all the gremlins.”

“They flogged me when I tried to stop them,” Mosquito complained, pointing at the bandages. “They flogged me.”

“That too.”

“It’s okay,” Ryan replied calmly. If the plushies didn’t destroy the world today, it would be something else, like an asteroid or a plague. No biggie.

Hazmat Girl didn’t look convinced. “Didn’t you stress that your rabbits shouldn’t go outside under any circumsta—”

“My dear lovely Sarin.” Ryan put his hands on his VP’s shoulders. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise you, darling.”

“Are you high?” she asked while abandoning her cue, sounding disgusted with her superior. “I know we have a juice production facility, but… what’s the saying…”

“Don’t get high on your own product. I know, I ran a drug cartel.” Which turned out great! “Sarin, I have something to say. You’re not the best sidekick I had, that would be the but I like you. I like you very much.”

Sarin pushed Ryan back and raised a vibrating fist in his direction. He had opened his heart to her, and that was how she reacted? “Okay, what’s wrong with you? You’re weirder than usual.”

“I feel like being nice today,” Ryan said, letting out a sigh of pure bliss. “No cruel joke, no sarcasm, no mean remarks. Just pure kindness.”

“Well get back to normal, you’re creeping the shit out of me.”

“I prefer him this way,” Mosquito said, immediately trying to exploit the situation. “Does that mean we get free juice today, since you’re in a good mood?”

“Of course, dear leech,” Ryan said, the bugman loudly rejoicing. “Enjoy your day off, my friends. For tomorrow, we’ll go to war.”

Manada’s ultimatum expired the day after, and while Ryan had a plan to get rid of him, it would involve a clash with Il Migliore. Perhaps even the Carnival, if the two groups already made contact during this loop.

Now that the president had secured his white house and electoral base, he would take the city by storm.

The elevator to the lower levels opened before Ryan could explain his plan to his trusty minions. Mongrel stepped out first, followed by a blonde woman with bloodshot eyes. She kept her head down and avoided others’ gazes, as if afraid of overstepping.

It took Ryan a split second to recognize Acid Rain.

Her behavior, her posture, the way she moved… everything but her appearance had changed. She gave off an entirely different vibe than the murderous madwoman the courier had grown used to. Her posture screamed meek.

“Rain?” Mosquito asked, probably expecting the violent maniac to flip out and murder them. “Rain, is that you?”

“I’m, uh… I’m Helen.” Even her voice wasn’t the same, now that she didn’t scream all the time. “That’s my real name. Helen.”

“Who let you out?” Sarin asked, pointing her hands at her.

“The Doc. He said I… that the treatment worked.” Acid Rain scratched the back of her head as everyone looked at her in shock, before smiling sheepishly at Ryan. “Sorry I tried to kill you before. I… I wasn’t thinking straight.”

and Sarin lowered

worked on me too,” Mongrel spoke, his voice surprising in its

in his direction. “You can

my brain hurts when I speak.” Mongrel held his head in his hand. “I think my grey matter slowly fills the void left

like I’m waking up from a long nightmare,” Acid Rain said, smiling at Ryan. “Thanks for helping. I… I’m truly grateful,

treatment won’t last forever, from what I gathered,” Mongrel complained

products much quicker than normal humans. Eventually, their mutations would adapt to Alchemo’s treatment,

he would make it right. “We have the tools to figure out a permanent solution,” he said, glancing at Mongrel. “I have the feeling we’ll need your assistance

Mongrel said. “I don’t wanna go back to

drank, like, five knockoffs,” Sarin pointed out, unsympathetic to his plight. “You were already barely better than a dog

power to work. So I figured, hey, there’s gotta be faulty Elixirs lying around, and

drank a knockoff since you believed yourself powerless, and you turned

By itself, it did nothing. Much like how

if you find a cure, I’m never touching an Elixir for the rest of my life. Years as a maddened

to stab us in the back either?” Mosquito asked Acid Rain. “You gutted our previous teleporter in a fit

her eyes betraying her horror. “I…

said, seizing the opportunity to interrogate her. “In your insane state, you kept rambling about how I barred the gates, and that

her arms, uncomfortable at reliving her days as a madwoman. “Well, I don’t remember everything. It’s all a haze. But… I think it’s

Ryan frowned behind his

it’s not instantaneous. It looks like it from the outside, but from my point of view… everything goes purple, and I move from one spot to

teleport, using it as a shortcut through space.” It explained why

weird pyramid thing above us, watching.” Helen took a deep breath. “I hear voices too. I’m not sure if it’s talking to me, or something else, but… I hear people speaking.

I have been able to open a gate to the Purple World in the past, but

could go back in time with that place. I know you could.

Ryan a knowing look, and though he beamed with happiness, he was careful enough not to reveal the truth. Especially not now, when things were finally looking

my family because of a… because of a mistake,” Helen said, joining her fingers and looking down. “That’s why I looked for a Violet Elixir. I could

a Violet Elixir, in spite

“I found one, but… I thought I could give it to

of a traumatized victim having

So he… opened the bottle and...” Her voice died down her

realized that Hannifat Lecter’s obsession

It was a habit.

shells of their former selves, until

managed to access the Purple World, according to Darkling, the Ultimate One would preserve causality

she said it made Ryan feel sorry for Acid Rain, of all people. She gathered her breath, and

ask the Augusti?” Mosquito suggested. Did he rediscover an ember of humanity? “I heard Mercury could raise the dead, and we

the pool game. She wasn’t one for emotional moments. “Anyone else wanna play?

gremlins dangling from the ceiling.

as she sent an

blood puddle and immediately rushing at Acid Rain’s feet. “Hey, blondie,” the toaster greeted Helen, as

poor woman looked at the toaster in absolute confusion, and then

don’t like your bread raw, I’ve got butter,” Toasty said seductively. His game was atrocious, but then again, he was a toaster. “Sweet, soft

get butter when you don’t have

are you putting me inside that big hot mech in the garage? Then, I’ll show you

“Tomorrow, my friend. Tomorrow.”

had destroyed robots and

never fought a

on his devilish plan,

to the holographic dome. Ryan had disabled the cameras and microphones for privacy, which Alchemo took as a sign he did dirty

the screens on the walls and the information banks they showed, the room used to be an archive of some sort. A holographic projector at the chamber’s center showed a map of planet Earth, with half a dozen glowing red points around Eurasia. Perhaps they indicated Mechron’s remaining facilities. Ryan would

brain-copying machine.

Len’s eyes, but not today. She

Alchemo gave me pills, and they work much better than my previous antidepressants. I can think clearly even when I’m not using

could do a great deal of good when he wanted to. If the courier learned how to reproduce his miracle drugs, he could provide Len with treatment across loops.

reverence. It had saved him from centuries of loneliness. “Now we proved it works and Psyshock won’t follow us again, we can finally make long-term plans for the

loop would probably end with another

and how she had never seen my sanctuary, I… I understood

before,” Ryan said, as he sat on the workbench. “Now we can bring more people into the loop. I have an arrogant young

in time at once. Maybe I can improve it and raise that number, but for now… we’re limited to one

to rebuild the machine and send you back each time in an unbroken chain. If it breaks once, you’ll

we can store the memories,” Len confirmed