The Perfect Run

For the first time in centuries, Ryan woke up at peace with himself.

Certainly, he had had good mornings in the past. Waking up next to Jasmine would remain one of his most cherished memories. But nothing could compare to this beautiful moment. His body was numb from the endorphins; the tension in his muscles had long vanished. He could have stayed in his bed all day, smiling at the ceiling.

Ryan Romano was happy.

It took a herculean effort of will to rise up and put on his presidential costume, for he still had work to do. As he dressed, the courier glanced at the hole a robot made in his bowler hat. One loop ago, the cruel sight would have triggered an epic, city-destroying rampage.

But not today.

Ryan emerged from his room smiling behind his mask, and found Frank keeping watch in front of the doors. The giant immediately welcomed him with a military salute. “Good morning, Mr. President. Nothing to report.”

Ryan smiled at the poor, deluded creature, his heart full of warmth and compassion. “Agent Frank,” he said while putting a hand on the man’s back, though he had to stand on his toes. “You are the greatest hero this nation’s ever had. You are everything an American citizen should be.”

His kind words shook the titan to the core. Frank would have cried, if he wasn’t made of metal. “Thank you, Mr. President. Everything I do is to honor my father. He died from a KFC overdose while hanging Nazis with a lasso.”

“A most American way to die. He would be so proud of you, son.”

Though Ryan would have to make sure Frank and Len never ended up in the same room. He had the intuition it would backfire.

Leaving his favorite guard to his watch, Ryan moved into the recreational area while whistling to himself. He didn’t care about the hanged gremlins dangling from the ceiling, or how Rakshasa struggled to clean up a blood puddle on the floor.

Everything just felt… right.

“Oh, you’re awake, boss?” Ryan glanced at the speaker, noticing Sarin playing pool with Mosquito. The bugman had bandages all over his shoulders and wings. “We’ve got a problem. The rabbits kept pestering the kids to play outside, and they moved into the Junkyard after killing all the gremlins.”

“They flogged me when I tried to stop them,” Mosquito complained, pointing at the bandages. “They flogged me.”

“That too.”

“It’s okay,” Ryan replied calmly. If the plushies didn’t destroy the world today, it would be something else, like an asteroid or a plague. No biggie.

Hazmat Girl didn’t look convinced. “Didn’t you stress that your rabbits shouldn’t go outside under any circumsta—”

“My dear lovely Sarin.” Ryan put his hands on his VP’s shoulders. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise you, darling.”

“Are you high?” she asked while abandoning her cue, sounding disgusted with her superior. “I know we have a juice production facility, but… what’s the saying…”

“Don’t get high on your own product. I know, I ran a drug cartel.” Which turned out great! “Sarin, I have something to say. You’re not the best sidekick I had, that would be the but I like you. I like you very much.”

Sarin pushed Ryan back and raised a vibrating fist in his direction. He had opened his heart to her, and that was how she reacted? “Okay, what’s wrong with you? You’re weirder than usual.”

“I feel like being nice today,” Ryan said, letting out a sigh of pure bliss. “No cruel joke, no sarcasm, no mean remarks. Just pure kindness.”

“Well get back to normal, you’re creeping the shit out of me.”

“I prefer him this way,” Mosquito said, immediately trying to exploit the situation. “Does that mean we get free juice today, since you’re in a good mood?”

“Of course, dear leech,” Ryan said, the bugman loudly rejoicing. “Enjoy your day off, my friends. For tomorrow, we’ll go to war.”

Manada’s ultimatum expired the day after, and while Ryan had a plan to get rid of him, it would involve a clash with Il Migliore. Perhaps even the Carnival, if the two groups already made contact during this loop.

Now that the president had secured his white house and electoral base, he would take the city by storm.

The elevator to the lower levels opened before Ryan could explain his plan to his trusty minions. Mongrel stepped out first, followed by a blonde woman with bloodshot eyes. She kept her head down and avoided others’ gazes, as if afraid of overstepping.

It took Ryan a split second to recognize Acid Rain.

Her behavior, her posture, the way she moved… everything but her appearance had changed. She gave off an entirely different vibe than the murderous madwoman the courier had grown used to. Her posture screamed meek.

“Rain?” Mosquito asked, probably expecting the violent maniac to flip out and murder them. “Rain, is that you?”

“I’m, uh… I’m Helen.” Even her voice wasn’t the same, now that she didn’t scream all the time. “That’s my real name. Helen.”

“Who let you out?” Sarin asked, pointing her hands at her.

“The Doc. He said I… that the treatment worked.” Acid Rain scratched the back of her head as everyone looked at her in shock, before smiling sheepishly at Ryan. “Sorry I tried to kill you before. I… I wasn’t thinking straight.”

Sarin lowered her gauntlets. “I’m just happy you still have

me too,” Mongrel spoke, his

in his

though my brain hurts when I speak.” Mongrel held his head in his hand. “I think my grey matter slowly fills the void left by the

feel like I’m waking up from a long nightmare,” Acid Rain said, smiling at Ryan. “Thanks for helping.

from what I

it wouldn’t. Genomes’ enhanced metabolisms meant they developed a tolerance to chemical products much quicker than normal humans. Eventually, their mutations would adapt to Alchemo’s treatment, and the two Psychos would descend back

it right. “We have the tools to figure out a permanent solution,” he said, glancing at Mongrel. “I have the feeling we’ll

wanna go back to eating rats, ya dig? Never asked for

drank, like, five knockoffs,” Sarin pointed out, unsympathetic to his plight. “You were already

other Genomes, but I couldn’t get my power to work. So I figured,

spine. “You drank a knockoff since you believed yourself powerless, and you

ability allowed him to stockpile more than one Elixir. By itself, it did nothing. Much like how Casper the ghost only

a nod. “I swear, if you find a cure, I’m never touching an Elixir for the rest of my life. Years as a

stab us in the back either?” Mosquito asked

The young woman shook her head, her eyes betraying her horror. “I… that wasn’t

her the benefit of the doubt. “Something has been bugging me,” the courier said, seizing the opportunity to interrogate her. “In your insane state, you kept rambling about how I barred the

crossed her arms, uncomfortable at reliving her days as a madwoman. “Well, I don’t remember everything.

Ryan frowned

with my raindrops it’s… it’s not instantaneous. It looks like it from the outside, but from my point of view… everything goes purple, and I move from one spot to

through space.” It explained why their powers could sense the other activating.

too. I’m not sure if it’s talking to me, or

Ryan crossed his arms. “Thing is, I have been able to open a gate to the Purple World in

in hope. “You could… you could go back in time with that place. I know you could. It’s… all of space and time, it all goes back

though he beamed with happiness, he was careful enough not to reveal the

lost my family because of a… because of a mistake,” Helen said, joining her fingers and

Elixir, in spite of

but… I thought I could give it to a friend. That maybe they would luck out. But Adam... Adam caught me and... he

reminded him of a traumatized victim having a PTSD

go back, I… I should do it myself. So he…

suddenly realized that Hannifat Lecter’s

It was a habit.

into broken shells of their former selves, until they had no other

your family, Helen,” Ryan apologized, crushing her hopes. Even if he managed to access the Purple World, according to Darkling, the Ultimate One would preserve causality and avoid time-paradoxes. “But we’re going to help you, at least.

sorry for Acid Rain, of all

of humanity? “I heard

mindless zombies, you stupid jackass,” Sarin said, before returning to the pool game.

said, before looking at the dead gremlins dangling from the ceiling. “Also, why are there dead hanged animals above

lucky charms,” Sarin said, as she sent an 8-ball

blood puddle and immediately rushing at Acid Rain’s feet. “Hey, blondie,” the toaster greeted Helen, as

looked at the toaster in absolute confusion, and

Toasty said seductively. His

you don’t have

leave some for us,” Toasty replied. “When are you putting me inside that big hot mech in the garage? Then, I’ll show you

“Tomorrow, my friend. Tomorrow.”

robots

never fought a

mooks on his devilish plan, Ryan moved

of the underground chambers close to the holographic dome. Ryan had disabled the cameras and microphones for privacy, which Alchemo took as a

and the information banks they showed, the room used to be an archive of some sort. A holographic projector at the chamber’s center showed a map of planet Earth, with half a

upon finding her working on the brain-copying machine. She had repurposed

dark circles around Len’s eyes, but not today. She looked as well-rested as Ryan himself,

Alchemo gave me pills, and they work much better than my

good when he wanted to. If the courier learned how to reproduce his miracle drugs, he could provide Len with treatment across loops. In time, she might

centuries of loneliness. “Now we proved it works

loop would

at Sarah, and how she had never seen my sanctuary, I… I understood how you felt. People forgetting you over, and over again… it

on the workbench. “Now we can bring more people

one brain map back in time at once. Maybe I can improve it

understanding the method’s limits. “And we’ll need to rebuild the machine and send you back each time in an unbroken chain. If

can store the memories,” Len confirmed with a