The Perfect Run

For the first time in centuries, Ryan woke up at peace with himself.

Certainly, he had had good mornings in the past. Waking up next to Jasmine would remain one of his most cherished memories. But nothing could compare to this beautiful moment. His body was numb from the endorphins; the tension in his muscles had long vanished. He could have stayed in his bed all day, smiling at the ceiling.

Ryan Romano was happy.

It took a herculean effort of will to rise up and put on his presidential costume, for he still had work to do. As he dressed, the courier glanced at the hole a robot made in his bowler hat. One loop ago, the cruel sight would have triggered an epic, city-destroying rampage.

But not today.

Ryan emerged from his room smiling behind his mask, and found Frank keeping watch in front of the doors. The giant immediately welcomed him with a military salute. “Good morning, Mr. President. Nothing to report.”

Ryan smiled at the poor, deluded creature, his heart full of warmth and compassion. “Agent Frank,” he said while putting a hand on the man’s back, though he had to stand on his toes. “You are the greatest hero this nation’s ever had. You are everything an American citizen should be.”

His kind words shook the titan to the core. Frank would have cried, if he wasn’t made of metal. “Thank you, Mr. President. Everything I do is to honor my father. He died from a KFC overdose while hanging Nazis with a lasso.”

“A most American way to die. He would be so proud of you, son.”

Though Ryan would have to make sure Frank and Len never ended up in the same room. He had the intuition it would backfire.

Leaving his favorite guard to his watch, Ryan moved into the recreational area while whistling to himself. He didn’t care about the hanged gremlins dangling from the ceiling, or how Rakshasa struggled to clean up a blood puddle on the floor.

Everything just felt… right.

“Oh, you’re awake, boss?” Ryan glanced at the speaker, noticing Sarin playing pool with Mosquito. The bugman had bandages all over his shoulders and wings. “We’ve got a problem. The rabbits kept pestering the kids to play outside, and they moved into the Junkyard after killing all the gremlins.”

“They flogged me when I tried to stop them,” Mosquito complained, pointing at the bandages. “They flogged me.”

“That too.”

“It’s okay,” Ryan replied calmly. If the plushies didn’t destroy the world today, it would be something else, like an asteroid or a plague. No biggie.

Hazmat Girl didn’t look convinced. “Didn’t you stress that your rabbits shouldn’t go outside under any circumsta—”

“My dear lovely Sarin.” Ryan put his hands on his VP’s shoulders. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise you, darling.”

“Are you high?” she asked while abandoning her cue, sounding disgusted with her superior. “I know we have a juice production facility, but… what’s the saying…”

“Don’t get high on your own product. I know, I ran a drug cartel.” Which turned out great! “Sarin, I have something to say. You’re not the best sidekick I had, that would be the but I like you. I like you very much.”

Sarin pushed Ryan back and raised a vibrating fist in his direction. He had opened his heart to her, and that was how she reacted? “Okay, what’s wrong with you? You’re weirder than usual.”

“I feel like being nice today,” Ryan said, letting out a sigh of pure bliss. “No cruel joke, no sarcasm, no mean remarks. Just pure kindness.”

“Well get back to normal, you’re creeping the shit out of me.”

“I prefer him this way,” Mosquito said, immediately trying to exploit the situation. “Does that mean we get free juice today, since you’re in a good mood?”

“Of course, dear leech,” Ryan said, the bugman loudly rejoicing. “Enjoy your day off, my friends. For tomorrow, we’ll go to war.”

Manada’s ultimatum expired the day after, and while Ryan had a plan to get rid of him, it would involve a clash with Il Migliore. Perhaps even the Carnival, if the two groups already made contact during this loop.

Now that the president had secured his white house and electoral base, he would take the city by storm.

The elevator to the lower levels opened before Ryan could explain his plan to his trusty minions. Mongrel stepped out first, followed by a blonde woman with bloodshot eyes. She kept her head down and avoided others’ gazes, as if afraid of overstepping.

It took Ryan a split second to recognize Acid Rain.

Her behavior, her posture, the way she moved… everything but her appearance had changed. She gave off an entirely different vibe than the murderous madwoman the courier had grown used to. Her posture screamed meek.

“Rain?” Mosquito asked, probably expecting the violent maniac to flip out and murder them. “Rain, is that you?”

“I’m, uh… I’m Helen.” Even her voice wasn’t the same, now that she didn’t scream all the time. “That’s my real name. Helen.”

“Who let you out?” Sarin asked, pointing her hands at her.

“The Doc. He said I… that the treatment worked.” Acid Rain scratched the back of her head as everyone looked at her in shock, before smiling sheepishly at Ryan. “Sorry I tried to kill you before. I… I wasn’t thinking straight.”

heart overflowed with compassion, and Sarin

worked on me too,” Mongrel spoke, his

immediately turned in his direction. “You

held his head in his hand. “I think my grey matter slowly fills the void left by the

long nightmare,” Acid Rain said, smiling at Ryan. “Thanks for helping. I… I’m truly grateful, like you

our current treatment won’t last forever, from what I gathered,” Mongrel complained with a groan. “Which

quicker than normal humans. Eventually, their mutations would adapt to

and Ryan knew he would make it right. “We have the tools to figure out a permanent solution,” he said, glancing at

“I don’t wanna go back to eating rats, ya dig? Never asked for

like, five knockoffs,” Sarin pointed out, unsympathetic to his plight. “You were already barely

looting Old Rome’s ruins, but it didn’t do anything. I read White Genomes affected other Genomes, but I couldn’t get my power to work. So I figured, hey, there’s gotta be faulty Elixirs lying around, and I drew the short end of the stick. I

a knockoff since you

more than one Elixir. By itself, it did nothing. Much like how Casper the ghost only transformed

a nod. “I swear, if you find a cure, I’m never touching an Elixir for the rest of my life.

to be sure, you aren’t going to stab us in the back either?”

her eyes betraying her horror. “I… that wasn’t me.

opportunity to interrogate her. “In your insane state, you kept rambling about how I barred the gates, and that something called the Ultimate

crossed her arms, uncomfortable at reliving her days as a madwoman. “Well, I don’t

Ryan frowned behind

It looks like it from the outside, but

using it as a shortcut through space.” It explained why their

pyramid thing above us, watching.” Helen took a deep breath. “I hear voices too. I’m not sure if it’s talking to me, or something else, but… I hear people speaking. When I look at you

been able to open a gate to the Purple World

head perked up in hope. “You could… you could go back in time with that place. I know you could. It’s… all of space and time, it all goes back to

though he beamed with happiness, he was careful enough not to reveal the truth. Especially not now, when things were finally

my family because of a… because of a mistake,” Helen said, joining her fingers and looking down. “That’s why I

drank a Violet Elixir, in spite of the risks?”

Rain shook her head, her face turning ghastly, her fingers shaking. “I found one, but… I thought I could give it to a friend. That

stare reminded him of a traumatized

back, I… I should do it myself. So he… opened the bottle and...”

he listened to her tale, and suddenly realized that Hannifat Lecter’s obsession with force-feeding him

It was a habit.

into broken shells of their former selves, until they had

according to Darkling, the Ultimate One would preserve causality and avoid time-paradoxes. “But we’re going

okay.” The way she said it made Ryan feel sorry for Acid Rain, of all people. She gathered her breath, and managed

suggested. Did he rediscover an ember of humanity? “I heard Mercury could raise the dead,

as mindless zombies, you stupid jackass,” Sarin said, before returning to the pool game. She wasn’t one for emotional moments. “Anyone else wanna play? I’m

looking at the dead gremlins dangling from the ceiling. “Also, why are there dead

as she sent an 8-ball rolling into

at Acid Rain’s feet. “Hey, blondie,” the toaster greeted Helen, as it put on the charm. “Do you want

poor woman looked at the toaster in absolute confusion, and then at Ryan. “Is this a prank?” she

I’ve got butter,” Toasty said seductively. His game was atrocious, but then

don’t have arms?”

you’ve got enough chicks vying for you already, leave some for us,” Toasty replied. “When are you putting me inside that big hot mech in the garage?

“Tomorrow, my friend. Tomorrow.”

robots and mechs

never fought a

mooks on his devilish plan, Ryan moved

dome. Ryan had disabled the cameras and microphones for privacy, which Alchemo

an archive of some sort. A holographic projector at the chamber’s center showed a map of planet Earth, with half a dozen glowing red points around Eurasia. Perhaps they indicated Mechron’s remaining facilities. Ryan would

working on the brain-copying machine. She had

but not today. She looked as well-rested as Ryan himself, and her cheeks

I feel good. Alchemo gave me pills, and they work much better than my previous antidepressants. I can think clearly even when I’m

a great deal of good when he wanted to. If the courier learned how to reproduce his miracle drugs, he could provide Len with treatment across

this device with reverence. It had saved him from centuries of loneliness.

loop would probably

admitted. “When I looked at Sarah, and how she had never seen my sanctuary, I…

said, as he sat on the workbench. “Now we can bring more people into the loop. I

lower lip. “The machine can only send one brain map back in time at once. Maybe I can improve it and raise that

limits. “And we’ll need to rebuild the machine and

a place where we can