Chapter 23

*Colette POV❞

Merikh paces back and forth, his hands sliding through his hair one minute and a scowl shooting my way the next. His lycan barely restrained and with every second 1 fear we are getting closer to it breaking free. My hand reaches out, but I stop myself, drawing it back to my stomach as I bite my lip and watch him fall apart.

Every part of my body screams to touch him, to be near him, but the hatred in his eyes chills my blood. If only he would let me explain. Let me tell him I chose him and slapped Grady when he kissed me. But I know it won't make a difference, not now. Not when he has already made his mind up that I am a liar, and someone he can't trust.

"Alpha," I swallow, not sure how to address him when he is this mad at me.

"Alpha?" he scoffs, a sardonic chuckle breaking free. "You make out with your ex-mate, lie about it and suddenly I am back to Alpha? You call me Merikh. Understood?"

I nod in agreement.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, wanting to counter his accusation with the truth. But Merikh isn't looking for the truth right now. He is looking for sanity and it feels like I am the reason for the lack of it

"I won't be marking you." Merikh finally states, stopping and looking at me.

His chest heaves violently, his breathing labored. Tears dot my eyes for yet another time tonight. It hurts, though I can't say am surprised. I've done nothing but wear a fake smile, but I knew the moment Grady stepped out that there was no way Merikh would want me anymore.

"Perhaps you should choose a different Luna," I murmur, my heart breaking at the thought, my wolf whining as she paces, unsure of how to react with me.

He is in my face in an instant, tearing me from the edge of the bed where I sit and dragging me to standing, Merikh's eyes are jet black and his voice melding with his lycans.

green

"Mine!" he snarls and I wince, looking away out of fear. His grip disappears just as fast as it had landed on me, and Merikh stumbles back into the dresser behind him. He shakes his head, then scrubs his hands down his face.

"I-I don't know what to say..." I admit and he glances at me. "Merikh I don't know how to fix this."

Time will fix it. I won't trust you, but I will mark you, eventually. But not like this. Not when I can't decide whether to fuck you or to kill you."

I can feel the blood leach from my face at his words. From the very first moment I met him, he was calm, collected, and put together. Even in his anger, it was never really pointed at me, being on this end of it, watching him come undone because of me..because of what I did it's tearing my heart to shreds.

I can see the war waging in his green eyes. The way his lycan rails against him, fighting for control. And I can feel the rug to him, the growing urge

I stand near him my wolf seems to drool, going more hungry for a mark than she ever has been. Granted, she has almost been dormant for

in my

at the scent. Then he sinks his fangs into my wrist and I yelp in pain. He clings

stains his lips and his eyes dance between black and

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wrap my head around the burning in my arm that travels up and makes my hair stand on edge. Merikh shoves his wrist into my mouth and

The moment his tangy blood touches my tongue, he takes his arm away and grips the back of my neck, dragging my forehead to his as he stares into

after me, understood?" he asks,

roughly, intoxicated by

life to

life to

whole of the lycan and wolf shifter community" He says.

shifter community.." I say, trying like hell

the side of my Alpha, to never leave it unless I am

second I hesitate, trying to understand what is happening. He growls, and I repeat the

your side and never leave it. I promise to follow where you

in the eye, before he presses his lips to mine. The room spins, my heart racing as I reach out to touch his cheek, but he yanks away. There is a twang in my chest, like the feeling of a taut rubber band being snipped and his eyes

that?" I ask. A

desperate measure," he sighs as he walks

crawl up his body and make him make me his isn't suffocating anymore. That thread that always seems to grow tighter is suddenly slack and

and grabs my arm, wrapping the rag around my wrist. It's painfully obvious that he is avoiding eye contact as he looks anywhere but at me. Panic rises in my stomach, bubbling up into my mind, reminding me

pack, where I was treated like an object and not a person. I've never had control, ever. But at least here it felt like

I ask, struggling to keep my emotions

made a blood oath," he says so nonchalantly, like it isn't

your side?" I ask, tilting my head to the side. "Yet you

stripped me of the ability of ever feeling a full force mate bond. Even when he marks me, if he marks me, the oath will remain intact until I

exiled and the other I will never find because this oath, it blocks my ability to find them. And for what reason? I would have stayed. I would have done what he asked and would have always remained

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