Cuddle-slut: 4

April held me and gently rocked me while I calmed down. Strange as it was,

considering she was the reason I was crying to begin with, it actually helped a lot. She

made me feel safe, even if that safety might have been an illusion.

"It's okay, it's all okay," she whispered.

"How can it possibly be okay?"

"Because it is. Because I said so. Because I love you no matter what."

"That's... kind of a good answer."

"Of course it is. You didn't think I was going to hate you or something, did you?"

I shrugged and tried to relax, though it was next to impossible to do so. I couldn't help being tense when I was so close to April and I no longer knew exactly where we stood. "So now what?" I asked.

"Well, we can talk if you want. Or we can just sit here for a while. Or I can give you some space if it'll help. It's up to you really."

"Could you stop being so nice about this? I don't really know how to deal with it."

April hugged me tighter. "Nope, I'm gonna be as nice as I want, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Even though you know how messed up I am? And that you've been my biggest fantasy for a long time."

"I don--"

"And when I stole your clothes and stuff while you were in the shower last time I was here it was mostly to see you naked."

"Yes, even with all that," she said firmly. "I don't know what to tell you about your... feelings for me. All I can do is make sure you know I'm not going to make you deal with them on your own."

I looked at her, comparing her reassuring smile with how I imagined my uncertain, tear-streaked face. She had put up with so much from me over the years, and once again she was dealing with my shit far better than I deserved. It made things both easier and harder at the same time.

Ariimpuise, airrwith my cypriar lider' or fittryckt Jerhirrhiti Trantecriny Treck'upraîter kissed her. She clearly wasn't expecting it and pulled away quickly, but not before I got to feel the softness of her lips against mine for the first time.

"Okay, now you're pushing it," she said, though still with no trace of anger.

"I know," I said.

I kissed her again and I was able to hold it for longer before she was able to gently push me away.

"I'm serious," she said, wagging a finger in my face. "That was your freebie. You know

to tie you

like when

in resignation. "You

pain in the

everything, I was beginning to feel better. Like things were actually going to

****

around. In fact, there were quite a few things I'd done in the past that I probably wouldn't be able to get away with anymore. I'd have to be more careful

been a little terrified that if she found out, that would be the end

I stumbled sleepily into the kitchen where April was already in the midst of getting pancakes together. I sat down heavily on my usual chair and, as

sleepy-face," April greeted me in a sing-songy

you're still cheerful,"

sleep. I was having to make do with the sporadic few hours I'd squeezed in between thinking and worrying and trying to get comfortable on

mixing up the batter. "Just because you might think the

then collapsed forward on the table in an

the shorts she was wearing fit her butt really nicely, but then, most of her clothes did. She had

staring at my butt?" she asked, having looked back to check on

"I tend to when I'm watching you, you know. It's one

get you some food so you stop having

sexy thoughts and eat at the same time. I'm very talented

the complete version of this book for free. Don't miss out on the

enough the first pancakes were

a plate and set them down in front of me, making a second trip to get me silverware and

deserve you,"

to mean? It's not like this is the first time

a terrible sister, and you just keep putting up with me no matter what I

what I think, and... I don't deserve any of

all over again, and I stared down despondently at my plate.

from behind

I like having you around, alright? That being said, you have been extra needy lately

smile formed on my lips at the sheer ridiculousness of the idea that washing the

that's a

you'd

ones already on

a first for me. April, having started after me, was still eating and got to watch me work for a change. I doubted

ever messed around with another girl?" I asked, pretty much

pause, and I wasn't sure whether it was because April had

"No," she said.

"Ever thought about it?"

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