Cuddle-slut: 4

April held me and gently rocked me while I calmed down. Strange as it was,

considering she was the reason I was crying to begin with, it actually helped a lot. She

made me feel safe, even if that safety might have been an illusion.

"It's okay, it's all okay," she whispered.

"How can it possibly be okay?"

"Because it is. Because I said so. Because I love you no matter what."

"That's... kind of a good answer."

"Of course it is. You didn't think I was going to hate you or something, did you?"

I shrugged and tried to relax, though it was next to impossible to do so. I couldn't help being tense when I was so close to April and I no longer knew exactly where we stood. "So now what?" I asked.

"Well, we can talk if you want. Or we can just sit here for a while. Or I can give you some space if it'll help. It's up to you really."

"Could you stop being so nice about this? I don't really know how to deal with it."

April hugged me tighter. "Nope, I'm gonna be as nice as I want, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Even though you know how messed up I am? And that you've been my biggest fantasy for a long time."

"I don--"

"And when I stole your clothes and stuff while you were in the shower last time I was here it was mostly to see you naked."

"Yes, even with all that," she said firmly. "I don't know what to tell you about your... feelings for me. All I can do is make sure you know I'm not going to make you deal with them on your own."

I looked at her, comparing her reassuring smile with how I imagined my uncertain, tear-streaked face. She had put up with so much from me over the years, and once again she was dealing with my shit far better than I deserved. It made things both easier and harder at the same time.

Ariimpuise, airrwith my cypriar lider' or fittryckt Jerhirrhiti Trantecriny Treck'upraîter kissed her. She clearly wasn't expecting it and pulled away quickly, but not before I got to feel the softness of her lips against mine for the first time.

"Okay, now you're pushing it," she said, though still with no trace of anger.

"I know," I said.

I kissed her again and I was able to hold it for longer before she was able to gently push me away.

"I'm serious," she said, wagging a finger in my face. "That was your freebie. You know

afraid to tie you up

kinda like when you tie me

in resignation. "You are

I'm kind of a pain in the butt, aren't

I was beginning to feel better. Like things

****

that night, no nighttime cuddling shenanigans for me this time around. In fact, there were quite a few things I'd done in the past that

always been a little terrified that if she found out, that would be the end of our

where April was already in the midst of getting pancakes together. I sat down heavily on

sleepy-face," April greeted me

you're still cheerful," I

sleep. I was having to make do with the sporadic few hours I'd squeezed in

still allowed to be cheerful," she said as she finished mixing up the batter. "Just

forward on

noted absently that the shorts she was wearing fit her butt really nicely, but then, most of her clothes did. She had

asked, having looked

I'm watching you, you know. It's one of your

we in a forthcoming mood this morning. I better get you some food

with that. I can have sexy thoughts and

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and soon enough the first pancakes were ready. She

front of me, making

don't deserve you," I

like this is the first time

just keep putting up with me no

and... I don't

a bad mood all over again, and I stared down despondently at my

April's arms encircling me from behind and

love you and I like having you around, alright? That

better. A small but genuine smile formed on my

that's a

you'd

burned, and I started picking at the ones already on

probably a first for me. April, having started after me, was still eating and got to watch me work for a change. I doubted

around with another girl?" I asked,

was because April had to think

"No," she said.

"Ever thought about it?"

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