Cuddle-slut: 4

April held me and gently rocked me while I calmed down. Strange as it was,

considering she was the reason I was crying to begin with, it actually helped a lot. She

made me feel safe, even if that safety might have been an illusion.

"It's okay, it's all okay," she whispered.

"How can it possibly be okay?"

"Because it is. Because I said so. Because I love you no matter what."

"That's... kind of a good answer."

"Of course it is. You didn't think I was going to hate you or something, did you?"

I shrugged and tried to relax, though it was next to impossible to do so. I couldn't help being tense when I was so close to April and I no longer knew exactly where we stood. "So now what?" I asked.

"Well, we can talk if you want. Or we can just sit here for a while. Or I can give you some space if it'll help. It's up to you really."

"Could you stop being so nice about this? I don't really know how to deal with it."

April hugged me tighter. "Nope, I'm gonna be as nice as I want, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Even though you know how messed up I am? And that you've been my biggest fantasy for a long time."

"I don--"

"And when I stole your clothes and stuff while you were in the shower last time I was here it was mostly to see you naked."

"Yes, even with all that," she said firmly. "I don't know what to tell you about your... feelings for me. All I can do is make sure you know I'm not going to make you deal with them on your own."

I looked at her, comparing her reassuring smile with how I imagined my uncertain, tear-streaked face. She had put up with so much from me over the years, and once again she was dealing with my shit far better than I deserved. It made things both easier and harder at the same time.

Ariimpuise, airrwith my cypriar lider' or fittryckt Jerhirrhiti Trantecriny Treck'upraîter kissed her. She clearly wasn't expecting it and pulled away quickly, but not before I got to feel the softness of her lips against mine for the first time.

"Okay, now you're pushing it," she said, though still with no trace of anger.

"I know," I said.

I kissed her again and I was able to hold it for longer before she was able to gently push me away.

"I'm serious," she said, wagging a finger in my face. "That was your freebie. You know

afraid to tie you up if

like when

shook her head in resignation. "You are

kind of a pain in the butt, aren't

actually giggled a little, and despite everything, I was beginning to feel better. Like things were actually

****

nighttime cuddling shenanigans for me this time around. In fact, there were quite a few things I'd done in the past that I probably wouldn't be able to get away with anymore. I'd have to be more careful around my sister in the future, and I hated being careful in

was also kind of a relief that she could apparently accept my secret desire for her. I'd always been a little terrified that if she found out, that would be the end of our relationship. The situation wasn't great, but it was nowhere

where April was already in the midst of getting pancakes together. I sat down heavily on my usual chair

April greeted me in

you're still cheerful,"

do with the sporadic few hours I'd squeezed

still allowed to be cheerful," she said as she finished mixing up the batter.

on the table in

noted absently that the shorts she was wearing fit her butt really nicely, but then, most of her clothes did. She had a nice

butt?" she asked, having looked

when I'm watching you, you know.

aren't we in a forthcoming mood this morning. I better get you some food so you stop having sexy thoughts

with that. I can have sexy thoughts and eat at the same

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first

down in front of me, making a second trip to get

deserve you," I

mean? It's not like this is the first time I've waited on your lazy ass.

I'm a terrible sister, and you just keep putting up with me no

and... I don't

despondently at my plate. She'd made the pancakes in

was caught off-guard by April's arms encircling me from behind and pulling me into

and I like having you around, alright? That being said, you have been extra

smile formed on my lips at the sheer ridiculousness of the idea that washing the

that's a fair deal,"

you'd think

to the stove to take care of the pancakes before they burned, and I started picking at the ones already on my plate. They were delicious, of course, and I found once I started eating that I had more of

after me, was still eating

around with another girl?" I asked, pretty much

whether it was because April had to think about her answer or just because she had her

"No," she said.

"Ever thought about it?"

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