Cuddle-slut: 4

April held me and gently rocked me while I calmed down. Strange as it was,

considering she was the reason I was crying to begin with, it actually helped a lot. She

made me feel safe, even if that safety might have been an illusion.

"It's okay, it's all okay," she whispered.

"How can it possibly be okay?"

"Because it is. Because I said so. Because I love you no matter what."

"That's... kind of a good answer."

"Of course it is. You didn't think I was going to hate you or something, did you?"

I shrugged and tried to relax, though it was next to impossible to do so. I couldn't help being tense when I was so close to April and I no longer knew exactly where we stood. "So now what?" I asked.

"Well, we can talk if you want. Or we can just sit here for a while. Or I can give you some space if it'll help. It's up to you really."

"Could you stop being so nice about this? I don't really know how to deal with it."

April hugged me tighter. "Nope, I'm gonna be as nice as I want, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Even though you know how messed up I am? And that you've been my biggest fantasy for a long time."

"I don--"

"And when I stole your clothes and stuff while you were in the shower last time I was here it was mostly to see you naked."

"Yes, even with all that," she said firmly. "I don't know what to tell you about your... feelings for me. All I can do is make sure you know I'm not going to make you deal with them on your own."

I looked at her, comparing her reassuring smile with how I imagined my uncertain, tear-streaked face. She had put up with so much from me over the years, and once again she was dealing with my shit far better than I deserved. It made things both easier and harder at the same time.

Ariimpuise, airrwith my cypriar lider' or fittryckt Jerhirrhiti Trantecriny Treck'upraîter kissed her. She clearly wasn't expecting it and pulled away quickly, but not before I got to feel the softness of her lips against mine for the first time.

"Okay, now you're pushing it," she said, though still with no trace of anger.

"I know," I said.

I kissed her again and I was able to hold it for longer before she was able to gently push me away.

"I'm serious," she said, wagging a finger in my face. "That was your freebie. You know

you

like when

her head in

kind of a pain in the

a little, and despite everything, I was beginning to feel better.

****

this time around. In fact, there were quite a few things I'd done in the past that I probably wouldn't be able to get away with anymore. I'd have to be more careful around my sister in the future, and I hated being careful in

I'd always been a little terrified that if she found out, that would be the end of our relationship. The situation wasn't great, but it was nowhere near as

I stumbled sleepily into the kitchen where April was already in the midst of getting pancakes together.

greeted me

still cheerful," I

make do with the sporadic few hours I'd squeezed

finished mixing up the batter. "Just because you might think the world's ending,

collapsed forward on the table in an overly

pan. I noted absently that the shorts she was wearing fit her butt really nicely, but then, most of her

at my butt?" she asked, having

I'm watching you, you know. It's one of

get you some food so you stop

have sexy thoughts and eat at

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soon enough the first pancakes

set them down in front of me, making a second trip to get me silverware and

deserve

mean? It's not like this is the first time I've waited on your lazy ass. I'm

just keep putting

I don't deserve

again, and I stared down despondently at my

arms encircling me from behind and pulling me into a

and I like having you around, alright? That being said, you have

always, she knew what to say to make me feel better. A small but genuine smile formed on my lips at the sheer ridiculousness

that's a fair deal," I

thought you'd think

stove to take care of the pancakes before they burned, and I started picking at the ones already on my plate.

even mind doing the dishes after I was done, which was probably a first for me. April, having started after me, was still eating and got to watch me work for a change. I doubted it had quite the

you ever messed around with another girl?" I asked, pretty much

whether it was because April had to think about her answer or just

"No," she said.

"Ever thought about it?"

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