Cuddle-slut: 5

"You can't keep doing things like this," April said.

"Why not? It's been working so far."

"Because...." She had to stop and wait for someone to go by us and get out of earshot. "Because it's going to force me to make a very difficult choice," she said in a low voice.

"What choice?"

"I... look, just wait until we have some privacy okay? This isn't the place to talk about it."

She was right, there were far too many people around to be discussing all the details of our relationship. At the same time, now I was curious what she wanted to say and it took all my willpower not to keep pestering her.

"I'm kinda thinking about making a cake," April said as we passed the baking section. "It's been a while since I've done one. It's way too much to eat when I'm all on my own. What do you think?"

"Hm, yeah. Sounds good," I said distractedly.

"You're not listening, are you?"

"I'm sort of listening."

"If you say so."

April grabbed a few supplies that she needed and we carried on. I was so anxious to hear what she wanted to say that I wasn't even sure what else we got along the way. I completely zoned out as I followed her through the rest of the aisles and to the check- out.

Finally we made it back the car, and I barely waited until we had both sat down before bringing the subject back up.

"What did you want to tell me?" I asked.

"Put your seatbelt on," she said instead of answering.

She started driving and I had to leave her alone for a few seconds while I fumbled with

my seatbelt that had somehow gotten twisted.

"Come on," I said. "What were you gonna say?

April sighed. "Okay, listen. I wasn't entirely honest with you about everything. I have actually messed around with another girl once."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. It was just some kissing and touching, and I guess once we got topless, but that's it."

it? And why didn't

Which is part of the reason I didn't

been that complicated. I just wanna know how

yes it felt good, I guess. But I was never really that into her as

any further. It all just got weird and neither of

"Oh."

a few minutes, processing the new information. I tried to think of who my sister might have experimented with, probably one of her friends, and

feel good when I

she said.

"What, I'm just asking."

as an excuse to

wouldn't that be okay if we

it would be confusing. Plus there'd be a really good chance that you could get hurt, and I don't want that. I don't know that I

liked it when I kissed her. She hadn't said it directly, but she'd come close enough. If I could just get her to admit it for real, both to me and herself, then it might end up being a better weekend than I could ever have

****

her cake. She sometimes wore one while baking, even though I had yet to see her make enough of a mess to warrant it. She didn't

when I had just the

was hardly any point in being subtle about it anymore, and I basically just propped my head

in that," I

you mean

sexy

about my perverse attraction to her sometimes, yet she had also made it clear that she had some serious issues regarding it. It made deciding what to

with what you

behind her and rested my chin on her shoulder. She tried to turn around, probably to chastise me once again, but I held her tighter and made sure she couldn't move

don't take my threats seriously," she said. "But we've been over this. You can't

know you're worried about hurting me, and maybe you will, but what you don't get is that I've already been hurting for a long, long

paused in her attempt to pry my hands

about that," she said. "It's not a great situation no matter how you look at it. But trust

"No, I can't, but I should at least be able to protect you from me." "Hasn't worked

was and started nuzzling at her neck. My hands roamed a little, but mostly stayed in innocent territory. Patient as she was with me, there was still only

feels okay, doesn't it?" I

right away until I kissed the side of her neck, making her involuntarily tilt her head a

okay," she agreed, her voice nearly breaking as she

I

"You don't know if you could love

just don't.

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