Cuddle-slut: 5

"You can't keep doing things like this," April said.

"Why not? It's been working so far."

"Because...." She had to stop and wait for someone to go by us and get out of earshot. "Because it's going to force me to make a very difficult choice," she said in a low voice.

"What choice?"

"I... look, just wait until we have some privacy okay? This isn't the place to talk about it."

She was right, there were far too many people around to be discussing all the details of our relationship. At the same time, now I was curious what she wanted to say and it took all my willpower not to keep pestering her.

"I'm kinda thinking about making a cake," April said as we passed the baking section. "It's been a while since I've done one. It's way too much to eat when I'm all on my own. What do you think?"

"Hm, yeah. Sounds good," I said distractedly.

"You're not listening, are you?"

"I'm sort of listening."

"If you say so."

April grabbed a few supplies that she needed and we carried on. I was so anxious to hear what she wanted to say that I wasn't even sure what else we got along the way. I completely zoned out as I followed her through the rest of the aisles and to the check- out.

Finally we made it back the car, and I barely waited until we had both sat down before bringing the subject back up.

"What did you want to tell me?" I asked.

"Put your seatbelt on," she said instead of answering.

She started driving and I had to leave her alone for a few seconds while I fumbled with

my seatbelt that had somehow gotten twisted.

"Come on," I said. "What were you gonna say?

April sighed. "Okay, listen. I wasn't entirely honest with you about everything. I have actually messed around with another girl once."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. It was just some kissing and touching, and I guess once we got topless, but that's it."

why didn't you

Which is part of

that complicated. I just wanna know how

felt good, I guess. But I was never really that

and neither of us knew what we wanted

"Oh."

out the window for a few minutes, processing the new information. I tried to think of who my sister might have experimented with, probably one of her

it feel good when I kiss you?"

she said. "Don't

"What, I'm just asking."

you're just going to use that as an excuse to

that be okay if

get hurt, and I don't want that. I don't know that I can ever return the feelings you have for me.

I was focusing almost exclusively on the idea that she might have liked it when I kissed her. She hadn't said it directly, but she'd come close enough. If I could just get her to admit it for real, both to me and herself, then it might end

****

while baking, even though I had yet to see her make enough of a mess to warrant it. She didn't know

when she wore an apron. It was probably just one of those things like how some people were really into cheerleader costumes or French maid outfits. Plus, when I had just the right angle from the front

I was checking her out. There was hardly any point in being subtle about it anymore, and

look good in that," I

mean

sexy on

so casual about my perverse attraction to her sometimes,

when in doubt, go with what you know. For me, that meant

I pressed right up behind her and rested my chin on her shoulder. She tried to turn around, probably to chastise me once again, but I held her tighter and made

said. "But we've been

may not act all that mature most of the time, but I am old enough to make my own decisions. I know you're worried about hurting me, and maybe you will, but what you don't get is

her attempt to pry my hands from around

"It's not a great situation no matter how

Let me grow up. You can't protect me from everything." "No, I can't, but I should at least be able to

right where I was and started nuzzling at her neck. My hands roamed

doesn't it?" I asked

answer right away until I kissed the side of her neck, making her involuntarily

agreed, her voice nearly breaking as she spoke. "It's

I finished for her. She

don't know if you could love me

just don't.

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