Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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answer that question or think too deeply about it, the bell

out of my class without saying

before I have to go

to anyone

was

I release a groan as I walk

rings just as I sit down. Nora’s name

handle them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan

accept button instead

she calls

say anything. Just release

dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your father out”

at

still don’t say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to

fucking word.

your life. I want to be the mother I was

1. and I want to be there for you. I already

after finding you would kill me”

breaks my heart.

my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so emotional these past

need time” I tell her slowly. Trying to push back

breath. “I’ll give you time if that’s

my heart even when I thought you had died.

be here for you if you

don’t know if I can trust them yet.

reply

get what she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for someone to

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used.

Rowan.

anything like that towards them. I was just trying

pieces of my heart.

walking

groan under my

highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell out

to stick her

food” she looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and how

think you’re preggo”

freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my

through every fiber of my

you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was

right?”

up as panic starts coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately

of the parking lot.

happening. Please don’t let

try to think back. Try to do the math, but

will probably be

Carol was wrong.

store, I park my car and