Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

I can answer that question or think too deeply

saying

have to go

to anyone

the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was

damn packed. I release a groan

as I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls

with Ethan I go to hang up, but

accept button instead

she

say anything. Just release

don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your father out” she

catching at the

I wanted to.

fucking word.

and I want to be in your life. I want to be the mother I

1. there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t

after finding you would kill me” she pleads, crying

breaks my heart.

it. I’ve been so emotional

slowly. Trying to push back my

that’s what you need, but

my heart even when I thought you had died. I

I’ll always be here for you if you need

but I don’t know if I can trust them yet. Only time will

reply before hanging

what she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for

2/4

+15 BONUS

Of being used. Of being

Rowan.

that towards them. I was just trying to protect the

pieces of my heart.

walking towards my table.

I groan under

junior highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell out

to stick her

food” she looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating

would think you’re preggo” she finishes with

seat. Her words

fear through every fiber of

frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You

right?”

starts coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out

of the parking lot.

be happening. Please don’t

do the math, but my mind is

be pulled for over speeding. I needed

Carol was wrong.

car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I