Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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question or think too deeply about

out of my class without saying a single word

the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to

to anyone

the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be

damn packed. I release a groan as I walk to

as I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not really

handle them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan I go to hang up, but I press

accept button instead

Ava?” she

anything. Just release

Don’t shut me

catching at

couldn’t even if I wanted to.

fucking word.

daughter, Ava and I want to be in your life. I want to be

1. be there for you.

Losing you again just after finding you would kill me” she pleads, crying and

breaks my heart.

fill my eyes. Damn it. I’ve

I tell her slowly. Trying to push back my

time if that’s what you need, but always remember that

carried you in my heart even when I thought you had

and know that I’ll always be here for you if you

so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust them yet. Only time

reply before

she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for someone to

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being used. Of being a second

Rowan.

that towards them.

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards

I groan under

had a way

to stick her nose

“With the way you’ve been eating and

one would think you’re preggo” she finishes with a

I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind

through every

notices my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that

right?”

blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump

of the parking lot.

happening. Please don’t

math, but my mind is

fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for

Carol was wrong.

my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump into