Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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+15 BONUS

can answer that question or think too deeply about

of my class without saying a single word

breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one

to anyone

was expecting it to be at

groan

Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not

their relationship with Ethan I go to

accept button instead

she calls

anything. Just release

dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t

catching at

wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To utter a

fucking word.

and I want to be in your life. I want

1. hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t

Losing you again just after finding you would

breaks my heart.

fill my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so emotional these past

her slowly. Trying to push back

give you time if that’s what you need, but

even when I thought you had died. I hope you

know that I’ll always be here for

feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I

reply before

she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking

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+15 BONUS

of. Of being used. Of

Rowan.

that towards them. I was

pieces of my heart.

Carol says walking towards

I groan under

a way of annoying the hell out of

stick her nose in

me in shock. “With the way you’ve been

think you’re preggo”

know she was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind

fear through every fiber of

Ava? You have to know

right?”

the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my car and speed

of the parking lot.

Please don’t let it

but my mind is so jumbled that I cannot think

fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I

Carol was wrong.

the store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I