Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

answer that question or think too deeply about it,

class without saying

breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the hallway. I wasn’t really in the

to anyone

freeze up. I was

packed. I release a groan as I walk

name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not really

their relationship with Ethan I

accept button instead

she

Just release the breath

my dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me

at

still don’t say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses

fucking word.

to be in your life. I want to be the mother I

1. I know you’re hurting and I want to be there for you. I already

Losing you again just after finding you would kill me” she pleads, crying

breaks my heart.

fill my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been so

her slowly. Trying

that’s what

when I thought you

know that I’ll always be here for you if you

so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if

reply

I just don’t know. What if she’s

2/4

+15 BONUS

afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice

Rowan.

that towards them. I was just trying

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards my

I groan

had a way

her

food” she looks at me in shock. “With the way

preggo” she finishes with

know she was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind like

every

my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know

right?”

coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into

of the parking lot.

couldn’t be happening. Please don’t let

to do the math, but my mind is so jumbled that I

will probably be pulled for over speeding.

Carol was wrong.

park my car and rush out.