Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

too deeply

of my class without saying a single word

down as I rush to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the hallway. I wasn’t really

to anyone

up. I was expecting it to be at least somewhat empty, but

groan as I walk

I sit down. Nora’s name

their relationship with Ethan I go

accept button instead

Ava?” she calls

Just release the breath

please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and

catching at

I wanted to. My

fucking word.

and I want to be in your life. I want to

1. there for you. I already lost one

finding you would kill me” she pleads, crying and

breaks my heart.

fill my eyes. Damn it. I’ve been

slowly. Trying to push back my

give you time if that’s what you

carried you in my heart even when I thought you had died.

here for you if

feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust

I reply

but I just don’t know. What

2/4

+15 BONUS

afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice

Rowan.

that towards them. I was just trying to protect

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards my table.

I groan under my

was a junior highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell out of people.

she likes to stick her

she looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and

think you’re preggo” she finishes with a laugh.

but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind like a

every fiber of

notices my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that

right?”

ran through the

of the parking lot.

Please don’t let

do the math, but my mind is so jumbled

that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed

Carol was wrong.

car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump