1. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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that question or think too deeply about it, the bell rings Taking my things, I

class without saying a single word to my

before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the hallway. I wasn’t

to anyone

freeze up. I was

groan as I walk to

sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not

Ethan I go to hang up, but I

accept button instead

she

anything. Just release the breath I

dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your father

at the

I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move.

fucking word.

my daughter, Ava and I want to be in your life. I want to

  1. to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don’t

finding you would kill me” she pleads, crying

breaks my heart.

my eyes. Damn it. I’ve

time” I tell her slowly. Trying to push back my

that’s what you need, but always remember that I

always carried you in my heart even when I

always be here for you if

to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust

I reply

saying, but I just don’t know. What if

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what I’m afraid of. Of being used.

Rowan.

towards them. I was just trying to protect the

pieces of my heart.

girl” Carol says walking

groan

had a way

she likes to stick her nose in other

me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating

think you’re preggo” she

I freeze in my seat.

through every fiber of my

notices my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was just

right?”

quickly stand up as panic starts coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till

of the parking lot.

be happening. Please don’t let it

back. Try to do the math, but my mind

not caring that I will probably be pulled for over

Carol was wrong.

my car and rush out. Unluckily for me,

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