Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

answer that question or think too deeply about it, the bell rings Taking my

without saying

head down as I rush to the teacher’s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have

to anyone

and freeze up. I was expecting it to be

a groan as I walk to the

phone rings just as I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve

them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan I

accept button instead

she

Just release the breath I

please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your father

at the

if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to

fucking word.

to be in your life. I want to be the mother I was supposed

1. to be there for you. I already lost one child,

you again just after finding you would kill

breaks my heart.

I’ve been

tell her slowly. Trying to push back

a breath. “I’ll give you time if that’s what you need, but always

I’ve always carried you in my heart even when I thought you had died.

know that I’ll always be here for you if you

feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know

reply before hanging

saying, but I just don’t know. What

2/4

+15 BONUS

gap. That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being

Rowan.

cold or anything like that towards them. I was

pieces of my heart.

girl” Carol says walking towards my table.

I groan

junior highschool teacher and she had a way of

her

shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and how moody

would think you’re preggo” she finishes

joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring

through every fiber of my

you okay, Ava? You have

right?”

I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the

of the parking lot.

Please don’t

to do the math, but my mind is so jumbled

will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed to confirm

Carol was wrong.

my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump