Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

can answer that question or think too deeply about it, the

of my class without saying

want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the

to anyone

the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at least somewhat empty, but it

I release a groan as I walk to the furthest

just as I sit down. Nora’s name

Ethan

accept button instead

Ava?” she

anything. Just release

please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and

at the

I wanted to. My

fucking word.

want to be in your life. I

1. to be there

another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill me” she pleads,

breaks my heart.

I’ve been so emotional these

need time” I tell her slowly. Trying

that’s what you need, but always remember that I

heart even when I thought

always be here for you if you need me”

to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can

reply

know. What if she’s just

2/4

+15 BONUS

of. Of being used. Of

Rowan.

being cold or anything like that towards them. I was

pieces of my heart.

Carol says walking towards

I groan under my

was a junior highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell

her

“With the way you’ve been eating and how moody you

you’re preggo” she finishes with a laugh.

my seat. Her words ring in my

every

okay, Ava? You have to

right?”

body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till

of the parking lot.

couldn’t be happening. Please don’t let

math, but my mind is so

drive fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed to confirm

Carol was wrong.

my car and rush out.