Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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+15 BONUS

too deeply

my class without saying a single word to my

breathe a little before I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the hallway. I wasn’t really

to anyone

I was expecting it to be at

packed. I release a groan

just as I sit down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls

Ethan I go to

accept button instead

she calls

Just release the

Don’t shut me and your

catching at the

say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My

fucking word.

in your life. I want to

1. you’re hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child,

another. Losing you again just after finding

breaks my heart.

I’ve been so emotional

time” I tell her slowly. Trying to

time if that’s what you need, but always remember that I

heart even when I

that I’ll always be here for you if you need me”

be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust them yet. Only time

reply before hanging

I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for someone to hang

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+15 BONUS

what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just like I

Rowan.

being cold or anything like that towards them. I was just trying to protect the

pieces of my heart.

says walking

I groan

had a way of

stick her nose in other

that food” she looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and

one would think you’re preggo” she

my seat. Her words ring in

every fiber

my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have

right?”

out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately

of the parking lot.

Please don’t let it

try to think back. Try to do the math, but my mind is so jumbled that

I will probably be

Carol was wrong.

my car and rush