Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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too deeply

out of my class without saying a

I have to go to my next class Luckily, no one stops me in the

to anyone

get to the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at least somewhat

a groan as I walk to

down. Nora’s name flashes. I’ve

them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan I go to hang up,

accept button instead

she calls

release the breath I

please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and

at

couldn’t even if I wanted to. My

fucking word.

in your life. I want to

1. you’re hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost

another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill me” she pleads, crying

breaks my heart.

it. I’ve been

time” I tell her slowly. Trying to

you time if that’s

I’ve always carried you in my heart even when I thought you had died. I

I’ll always be here for you

It feels so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if I can trust them yet. Only time

reply before hanging

get what she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What

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gap. That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a

Rowan.

like that towards them. I was just trying

pieces of my heart.

says walking towards my table.

I groan under

teacher and she had a way

she likes to stick her nose in other

me in shock. “With

think you’re preggo”

joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words

through every

my behavior and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was just

right?”

Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I

of the parking lot.

Please don’t let it

but my mind is

that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed to confirm

Carol was wrong.

car and rush