Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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+15 BONUS

question or think too deeply about it, the bell rings Taking my things, I

my class without saying a single word to my

I just want to breathe a little before I have

to anyone

up. I was expecting it to

groan as I walk to the furthest

Nora’s name flashes.

handle them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan I go

accept button instead

she

don’t say anything. Just release the breath I

my dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your father out” she

at

still don’t say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To utter a

fucking word.

be in your life. I want to be the mother I was supposed

1. be there for you. I already lost one child,

you again just after finding you

breaks my heart.

I’ve been

slowly.

a breath. “I’ll give you time if that’s what

when I thought you had died. I hope you can

I’ll always be here for you if you need me”

so good to be wanted, but I don’t know if

reply

What if she’s just looking for someone to

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+15 BONUS

afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just

Rowan.

that towards them.

pieces of my heart.

Carol says walking towards my

groan under my

was a junior highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell out of people.

stick her nose

me in shock. “With the

think you’re preggo” she finishes with a

I freeze in my seat. Her words ring

through every fiber of my

frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was

right?”

through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I

of the parking lot.

couldn’t be happening. Please don’t let it

Try to do the math, but my mind is so jumbled that I cannot

drive fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed to confirm

Carol was wrong.

the store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily