Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

1/4

+15 BONUS

I can answer that question or think too deeply about it, the

my class without saying

I just want to breathe a little before I have to go to my next

to anyone

up. I was expecting it

groan as I

name flashes. I’ve

handle them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan I

accept button instead

she

don’t say anything. Just release the breath

my dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and your

catching at

don’t say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move.

fucking word.

want to be in your life. I want to be the mother

1. want to be there

again just after finding you

breaks my heart.

Damn it. I’ve

I tell her slowly. Trying to push back my

time if that’s

always carried you in my heart even when I thought

I’ll always be here for you if you

be wanted, but I don’t know if

reply before

what she’s saying, but I just don’t know. What if she’s just looking for someone to hang

2/4

+15 BONUS

I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just like I

Rowan.

wasn’t being cold or anything like that towards them.

pieces of my heart.

girl” Carol says walking towards my

groan under

and she had a way of annoying the hell out

stick her nose

me in shock. “With the way you’ve

you’re preggo” she finishes with

she was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her

every fiber of my

okay, Ava? You have to know that I

right?”

I blindly ran through the hallway till

of the parking lot.

happening. Please don’t let it

but my mind is so jumbled that I cannot think

that I will probably be pulled for over

Carol was wrong.

car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump