Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

59. A surprise

It’s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

Things haven’t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

that I was probably just lying to myself.

Ethan’s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

marring my heart and soul.

I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn’t

really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

“Miss Sharp, are you okay?” Mark, one of my students asks me.

Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

wanted to change it, but I didn’t know which name to take. I didn’t want to take the Howell’s name

given I don’t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven’t spoken to them

since that day at my house.

“Yes, I am…focus on the classwork” I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

I loved teaching, but nowadays it has become like a chore. Every day I come to work, I can’t help

but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn’t

getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

My students have noticed something is wrong. Classes aren’t as fun as they used to be. I wasn’t as

cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

started skipping class. I just don’t know how to bring back the old Ava.

‘Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don’t you try to create a new version?‘ an internal voice

asks.

Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

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+15 BONUS

too deeply about

without saying

want to breathe a little before I have to go

to anyone

lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at

I release a groan as I walk

Nora’s name flashes. I’ve ignored their calls not

handle them. Especially given their relationship with Ethan I go to

accept button instead

she

don’t say anything. Just release the

my dear, please don’t shut me out. Don’t shut me and

at the

don’t say anything. I couldn’t even if I wanted

fucking word.

in your life. I want to be the mother I was supposed

1. to be there for you. I already lost

just after finding

breaks my heart.

I’ve been so emotional these past

I tell her slowly. Trying to

time if that’s what you need, but always remember that I

my heart even when I thought you had died.

and know that I’ll always be here for you if you

good to be wanted, but I don’t

reply before

just don’t know. What if

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+15 BONUS

gap. That’s what I’m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just

Rowan.

towards them. I was just trying to

pieces of my heart.

walking towards my

groan under my

and she had a way of annoying the hell out of

stick her nose

looks at me in shock. “With the way you’ve been eating and

you’re preggo”

my seat. Her

through every

and frowns. “Are you okay, Ava? You have to know

right?”

through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my car and speed

of the parking lot.

Please don’t let it be

math, but my mind is so

be pulled for over speeding. I

Carol was wrong.

the store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for