Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

62 Noah’s back

Ava

+15 BONUS

I’m cleaning the house. A thorough cleaning just to keep my mind off things. I’m still coming to

terms with the fact that I’m pregnant.

When Rowan rejected the idea of us having another baby. I all but gave up on giving Noah a

sibling. Now I have another baby on the way and I didn’t know how to feel.

My phone rings and I pick it up. Normally I would have refused to pick up, but not today. Pushing

those close to me away wasn’t doing me any good..

“Hi Letty” I murmur while sitting down.

I’ve been so tired of late. I should have known that there was something more to it.

“Oh my God. You picked up. I thought you wouldn’t” she screams through the phone before

sniffing. “I missed hearing your voice. It’s been weeks”

م

“I’m sorry.” I release a breath. “I just didn’t know how to handle everything so I pushed you away”

I’ve never been good at communicating my feelings. I’ve never been good at even acknowledging

them. When I’m stressed or over emotional, I shut down. I try to bury them so that I can function

properly. Pushing my emotions down is usually better than acknowledging them. Now I know

that isn’t healthy at all.

“Are you okay now?”

“Not all the way, but I will be” I assure her.

I don’t know how I plan to do that, but I was going to come out of this stronger.

I still can’t believe that I thought of killing myself and my own child. I may not know how to feel,

but this baby was my blood. Just like Noah is. I plan to be a good mother. I plan to be the best

mother to him or her.

I shake those thoughts away. I don’t want to think of how low I had hit. I don’t want to think of

what I almost did.

“I’m pregnant” I whisper, when she doesn’t say anything after a while.

1/5

+15 BONUS

What? She shrieks in surprise “When did you find out?”

“About a week ago

unexpected and unplanned. That won’t stop me from loving

not like his or her

Laush

congratulations” she tells me as the surprises fades and joy fills her

about the news. I thought you wouldn’t, given who the

baby is a blessing, and

you’ve recently been through. This baby is your saving grace. He

takes a deep breath as

could see it. I believe this baby has

managed to do. Pulling you out of

what she’s said and it’s true. It’s because of Noah and this child that

willing to get the help

I kept pushing you away, you

I was close to

single thing makes me emotional

sister I never had. Of course I wouldn’t give up on

I know you would

Moving away from serious conversations.

an hour or

realize how much I had missed her. Just how lonely

like myself, now. I wasn’t quite there yet, but I

and I am exhausted by the time I am done. I collapse on the sofa,

front door open.

Who the hell would dare enter my house without knocking or ringing

answered when I hear his sweet

2/5

+15 BONUS

Mommy I am home!” he

stand up. I rush out of the living room just

through the entry way.

“Noah!”

me as tears fall down my face. His body just fits

I had

over his face,

he giggle, but he doesn’t

How are you here right now?” I ask him as I

don’t let him go.

were both on the floor, but I didn’t care. I was just so fucking

you needed me. It was supposed to be

when we talked

he mentions his father that I realize

an emotion in his eyes, but I just can’t figure out what it

“Hi” I say softly.

house everyday just to check up on.

that still surprises me. He was so different from the Rowan I was used to

react to

he got me a therapist who I began seeing

nice, I’m left surprised by his action. It was so

are you today?” he asks with a

good” I shrug. I was making steps

sleeves and I look at him.

me sheepishly while rubbing the back of his

I tell

3/5

has never said anything about wanting a sibling, so

takes over his face and he