Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

66. His letter

1 stare at the piece of paper on my table, not really sure what to do about it.

I was now at home. I had gotten back like an hour ago. The whole time, I spent it debating whether I should open it or tear it to pieces

The paper had been burning a hole in my purse the entire time I drove back home. Now, here I am

Still staring at it.

A part of me was curious about it contents. The other didn’t much care about what was written. The man who wrote it hated me. What good could come out of reading a letter written by him?

I pick it up, about to tear it, but a voice stops me.

‘Just read the damn thing. What’s the worst that could happen?‘ my inner voice whispers.

I cringe at the words.

Famous last words. I think to myself.

The worst thing that could happen is he hurts me.

Words were dangerous. They cause more damage than any weapon can. I still remember some of the harsh words my so called parents said to me over the years. The wounds their words inflicted

have never truly healed.

‘Just open it!‘ the voice screams.

Not giving myself a second to back out, I unfold the letter.

[Dear Ava,

If you’re reading this then it’s because I didn’t make it out of surgery. Truth be told, I don’t think I

will. They’re trying to save me not knowing that their efforts are futile. I am too far gone and I can already see you grandparents calling me to come join them. It may be the imagination of a dying

man or not, but I believe I have a special place in hell for how I treated you.

You were such a sweet girl when Winnie left you with us, but we destroyed that. We destroyed

your light and I will forever regret that I did that to you my sweet girl.

I remember when she still had you. I used to play with you and Emma. You were so innocent and

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and playing with you, Travis and

the letter. My mind confused. None of what he said was making any sense. If he used to like being around me when Winnie was still alive, then what

down at the piece of paper, I

don’t know why I turned out to be such a monster to you, but when Winnie died and she asked us to take you in, something just shifted inside me.

as an excuse because nothing can

disgusting and uncalled

my punishment. Karma is really a vengeful bitch. I am

I leave this world, I want to tell you how sorry

I did and said, but

being the worst father. Sorry for being the

ask for forgiveness because I don’t deserve it. What I deserve is to burn in

there for your mother. She’ll need you. She has a good heart

towards you, she’ll

love you. I may not have

my darling

shove it back in

know why the letter affected me so

he wrote before died. Correct

stand up abruptly and leave for my bedroom.

them. I don’t want to think about the

think about anything. I block them because I know that if I allow them

then I would

now. It would cost me more than I’m willing to bargain. I had

going to risk going back to the darkness

my soul.

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bed and lie down Refusing to let the tears flow. I’ve cried

waste my tears on people that didn’t deserve anything from me.

catches up to me. The fatigue, both emotional and physical weighs me down and I fall into

up it’s around eleven

bed, falling down in the process. I was supposed to pick Noah up at nine since Rowan had to fly out for

ready. Doing it in less than ten minutes. Once I’m done I rush down the stairs, praying

I notice Rowan and Noah in the kitchen having breakfast. He was wearing a suit and

finally awake” Noah screams with his mouth full. “I wanted to wake you up, but dad

on here?”

something. I want to finish these before I leave” Rowan replies while flipping

meeting? You should have woken

sleep, so I let you sleep” he says as if it were

was a side of him I didn’t know existed. I don’t want to see it because I don’t want to think of him as the good guy.