Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future

The next month and a half are the worst of my life. Thank Goddess for Lex. She keeps me going. Any motivation I ever had is gone now. Instead of just breakfast and dinner, now I make lunch too and I'm still on pantry duty. Every moment of my day is filled with work from the time I wake up until the time I crash in my bed. Lex convinces me to enjoy the time that she and I get to spend together, which is when I'm cooking meals.

I find I actually do enjoy cooking while Lex is with me. No one comes to bother me, so we get to have great conversations without interruptions. In the end, I have created something people will enjoy. I even found a couple of recipe books in the back of one of the kitchen cupboards and taught myself some new techniques and dishes to make.

Everything else in my life is complete shit. Alpha Graham allows pack members to hit me and verbally abuse me and they take full advantage at every opportunity. He comes to my room multiple times a week to beat me and berate me for imaginary offenses I haven't committed. Sometimes Ryan comes and watches. A couple of times he even gets the whip for his father but he never actually hits me. I swear I see him smiling while he watches. Lex tries to convince me to fight back, but that would be a death sentence for both of us. If I fight back or even worse, if I shift, I'm certain I'd be killed on the spot.

Lex keeps telling me everything will change when I shift. She keeps saying we are a daughter of the Moon Goddess and we are her warrior. She is frustrated that I submit instead of fighting back. She is angry at me for keeping her a secret. She says doing so is making her weaker.

"Okay, Lex, a couple of problems with all of this," I try to tell her for the millionth time after we plop in bed, "First, I have no idea when I'm going to be able to let you out. I'm up and working every day from five a.m. until after midnight. Secondly, if the Alpha finds out I have a wolf at all, he might banish me and kill me or just skip banishing me and straight out kill me. Lastly, we are a slave, not a warrior. We aren't even an omega."

"Kas, we are not just a warrior, we are a child of the Moon Goddess. She is our mother."

I just roll my eyes, "Okay, okay. I don't know when I can let you out, but at the first opportunity, I will take it, Lex. I promise."

This seems to satisfy her. We keep having the same argument about werewolves all being children of Moon Goddess versus being an actual child of the Moon Goddess. She doesn't understand the difference. I think she actually believes the Moon Goddess is my mom, like, in the literal sense of the word mother.

Every night, I'm completely exhausted by the time I get back to my room. It's an even longer day if I'm visited by Alpha Graham. Lex has been the best friend I could ask for, even if she is frustrated and getting weak. She is always supporting me and pushing me to not give up. I feel guilty that I can't support her in return.

One day, Lori, Alpha Graham's personal omega comes running up to me while I'm making lunch and tells me the Alpha wants to see me in his office right away.  I drop what I'm doing and hurry to his office.

I knock on the door quietly in case he's busy.

"Come in," he calls from inside. I pull open the door and peek inside.

ask as quietly as possible. The easiest way to get away from him is to use as few words as possible and ask as few questions

there,

close the door behind me. I stay as close to the door as possible in

have a delegation coming from the Blood River pack next week. Twenty wolves in total, all of the ranked members, their mates, the heads of their security and guards, and security detail for all of them. If all goes well, we'll be forming a pact with them. They must be treated with the utmost respect and courtesy. Bring lunches to the conference room every day and make a formal dinner every night next week, keep

he can't see my eyes. Yes, even after almost two months, he still hasn't noticed that I have purple eyes. Or if he has, he hasn't pointed

"Yes, sir."

Tuesday. We'll be having a party after dinner to welcome him. Make sure there is

"Yes, sir."

him kill you. Do you understand?" He stands

"Y-yes, sir."

he points

out of the room as fast as possible to find Sam. Sam is in charge of ordering supplies for the packhouse. He should be in his office right now. My mind is already churning through the special foods to make and the groceries I need for them. I also need extra supplies

the largest pack in the northern region with my pack, Silver Moon, being the second largest. Alpha Graham says Blood River is vicious and strict. Most of their pack has served in the military at one point or another. They employ dark magicians and witches to help them keep power over neighboring packs. I wonder if they are going to

knock on the door. I can hear noises coming from inside but he doesn't answer. I knock a little louder. What a jerk, he has to know

He's creepy. He

don't have a choice but to work with him, Lex. He's the money

but let's

knock again. More impatiently