Secrets of Us A Forbidden Love Romance (Alina)

Chapter 171

I'm There

It's been a week. A long week.

Seven days of pretending I'm fine, of forcing my hands to stop shaking when I'm eating and I have three pairs of eyes taking in every move I make.

I've spent seven days sleeping alone, curled up on my side of the bed like it's a raft in the middle of an endless ocean.

In the dark.

With nothing but my own fears and anxiety surrounding me.

Jake's been so preoccupied with work that it he hasn't really been able to ask me what's wrong, or as me how I'm feeling. Aiden has been going to school without me and his coach is getting intense, setting more practices and meetings with scouts.

We've all been feeling the pressures of our lives. No one pushes me, but they check in on me, regardless. They ask me if I'm okay with everything now that I'm at home instead of

school.

And I say the same thing every time. I'm fine.

I keep thinking I'll find the courage to call the doctor, but the phone sits next to me, untouched, like it's mocking me. I stare at it for minutes at a time, my thumb hovering

over the screen, and then I just can't.

I'm scared. Of the answer. Of what it means. Of the questions that don't have

answers.

Homeschooling helps a little.

It gives me something to do, something to focus on that isn't the constant nausea

in my

stomach, or is that just nerves? I don't even know anymore. I pour all of me into my

classes, maybe a little too much.

I am avoiding myself too at this point, not just the guys.

popping his head in with a soft smile and eyes that search my face like they can read something there.

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I'm There

he's giving me space and then waiting for me

it.

Zaid is different, though.

they've ever been. A kiss on the cheek when he leaves,

like his

I'm finishing up the last assignment for the day. I swallow, trying to ignore the pulse

opens.

call out, trying to

doesn't step inside right away. His hands are shoved deep in his pockets, his shoulders tight and coiled. His jaw is set,

he's trying to

rough. Not demanding, but raw, like it hurts him

offer the only thing

His eyes flash with frustration, but he reins it in. His throat bobs as he

pauses, struggling to find the words, shaking

calm my nerves as

feel like you'd tell me if you wanted me to know.

I press my trembling lips together. "I haven't?" "About the

14:28 pm

I'm There

My stomach twists.

Guilt.

Fear.

Shame.

claws its way through me and makes my spine shiver. I drop

fingers pulling at the hem of my

couldn't really read it,"

"What do you mean?"

There was maybe a line, but it was

don't know."

through his nose, sharp and controlled. His fingers twitch at his sides. "Did you make an appointment

shake my head, my throat tightening. "No. I- I'm scared to go

the words sound and how pathetic they make me look.