Secrets of Us A Forbidden Love Romance (Alina)

Chapter 171

I'm There

It's been a week. A long week.

Seven days of pretending I'm fine, of forcing my hands to stop shaking when I'm eating and I have three pairs of eyes taking in every move I make.

I've spent seven days sleeping alone, curled up on my side of the bed like it's a raft in the middle of an endless ocean.

In the dark.

With nothing but my own fears and anxiety surrounding me.

Jake's been so preoccupied with work that it he hasn't really been able to ask me what's wrong, or as me how I'm feeling. Aiden has been going to school without me and his coach is getting intense, setting more practices and meetings with scouts.

We've all been feeling the pressures of our lives. No one pushes me, but they check in on me, regardless. They ask me if I'm okay with everything now that I'm at home instead of

school.

And I say the same thing every time. I'm fine.

I keep thinking I'll find the courage to call the doctor, but the phone sits next to me, untouched, like it's mocking me. I stare at it for minutes at a time, my thumb hovering

over the screen, and then I just can't.

I'm scared. Of the answer. Of what it means. Of the questions that don't have

answers.

Homeschooling helps a little.

It gives me something to do, something to focus on that isn't the constant nausea

in my

stomach, or is that just nerves? I don't even know anymore. I pour all of me into my

classes, maybe a little too much.

I am avoiding myself too at this point, not just the guys.

in with a soft smile and eyes that search my face like they can read something

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I'm There

he's giving me space and then

it.

Zaid is different, though.

kiss on the cheek when he leaves, his

feels like his patience

my bedroom door just as I'm finishing up the last assignment for the day. I

opens.

I call out, trying to

sheer force of will. He doesn't step inside right away. His hands are shoved deep in his pockets, his shoulders tight and coiled. His jaw is

he's trying to be careful

His voice is rough. Not demanding, but raw, like it hurts

only thing I can

with frustration, but he reins it in. His throat bobs as he swallows

struggling to find the words, shaking his head like he

inhale, long, trying to calm my nerves as my palms begin

feel like you'd tell me if you wanted me

trembling lips together. "I

14:28 pm

I'm There

My stomach twists.

Guilt.

Fear.

Shame.

and makes my spine shiver.

pulling at the hem

really read it,"

"What do you mean?"

couldn't see it. It wasn't clear. There was maybe a line,

don't know."

His fingers twitch at his sides. "Did you make

my head, my throat tightening. "No. I- I'm scared to

how pathetic they make me look. How