Chapter 40 Ava: Make Your Decision

Selene's words echo in my mind for a long time.

Is that why you took so long to come to me?

She sighs. It was a consideration, she says, and leaves it at that.

For the first time, I think I'm truly grateful that I was a defect. If I'd had Selene—if I'd gone into heat like this in the pack…

The life I would lead makes me shudder.

Thankfully, thinking about it helps with the symptoms of heat, too. Nothing like an instant turn-off even in the face of Lycan reproductive urges.

Wait a second. Why aren't you affected by my heat, if it's because of the Lycan part of me?

Selene's silence has me narrowing my eyes at the empty air. Selene!

I am not as young or as inexperienced as you, child. A heat does not overcome me in that way.

So, I'm young and inexperienced, and therefore I become a slutty ball of desire when I go through heat? Not fair.

Be careful, Selene says out of nowhere.

I look around, but I'm alone. My heat isn't out of control. What?

He's going to come through the window. Your guards are unaware.

Shit.

What do I do?

I need to tell the nurse.

Mating with an alpha would help your heat. You can do it without a claiming, if you want. You don't have to be fully mated just because you mate once or twice.

Um.

her. I thought you didn't want

loyal to a fate who didn't recognize what he had. I just think you

Oh.

that makes

do I

with care in the form of an entire hospital. Even now, with my heat driving us both to the brink of insanity, he's doing everything in his power to protect me. Guards stand

a stark contrast

rejected me so callously after our moment in the garden. Lucas, who made me feel like I was nothing. Lucas, who shattered my heart and

And yet...

has been trying to make amends, hasn't he? The notes, the apologies, the meals left at my door. Is

don't know what

connection we shared, for the way he made me feel alive and whole. But my mind reminds me of the agony that followed, of the shame and humiliation I endured in the aftermath of

give in to my heat and do what my body's urging me to do. To mate with

I truly want? Or is it just the heat talking, clouding my judgment and obscuring the deeper truths

I don't know.

don't know

or by the expectations of others. I can choose my own

a choice,

Alert your nurses or choose Clayton. Hurry. He's almost there. If you can't make a

shower stall. The icy water cascades over my body, but it does nothing to quell the searing flames that lick at my insides. I'm

can't do this. Why does this stupid heat

alpha brings it out, Selene says. He's almost there. Choose,

tremor wracks my frame as another wave of heat crashes over me, scorching every inch of my skin. I feel like I'm being consumed from

my voice, Selene says, her tone steady and reassuring.

a ragged breath, trying to ground myself in Selene's words. But it's a losing

of release. My body craves it, craves the touch of my alpha, craves a claiming that will sate this all-consuming

tiles, willing the chill to seep into my scorched skin. But it's no

mind conjuring his image

his touch like a brand against my feverish flesh. The memory of our encounter in the garden flashes through my mind, vivid and torturous. The way he held me, the way he kissed

coiling tight in my core. I crave his touch, his scent, his claiming. Every fiber of my being yearns for him, craves the completion that only he can

body,

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