Chapter 40 Ava: Make Your Decision

Selene's words echo in my mind for a long time.

Is that why you took so long to come to me?

She sighs. It was a consideration, she says, and leaves it at that.

For the first time, I think I'm truly grateful that I was a defect. If I'd had Selene—if I'd gone into heat like this in the pack…

The life I would lead makes me shudder.

Thankfully, thinking about it helps with the symptoms of heat, too. Nothing like an instant turn-off even in the face of Lycan reproductive urges.

Wait a second. Why aren't you affected by my heat, if it's because of the Lycan part of me?

Selene's silence has me narrowing my eyes at the empty air. Selene!

I am not as young or as inexperienced as you, child. A heat does not overcome me in that way.

So, I'm young and inexperienced, and therefore I become a slutty ball of desire when I go through heat? Not fair.

Be careful, Selene says out of nowhere.

I look around, but I'm alone. My heat isn't out of control. What?

He's going to come through the window. Your guards are unaware.

Shit.

What do I do?

I need to tell the nurse.

Mating with an alpha would help your heat. You can do it without a claiming, if you want. You don't have to be fully mated just because you mate once or twice.

Um.

stare at her. I thought you didn't want me to

I don't think you need to be loyal to a fate who didn't recognize what he had. I just think you should choose it when you're

Oh.

that makes

do I want

with care in the form of an entire hospital. Even now, with my heat driving us both to the brink of insanity, he's doing everything in his power to protect me. Guards stand outside my door, ready to intervene if he loses control. He's prioritizing my safety and well-being, even at the cost of

a stark contrast

Lucas, who made me feel like I was nothing. Lucas, who shattered my heart and left me questioning my

And yet...

my door. Is it possible that he regrets his actions? That he wants to atone for the pain

know what to think

way he made me feel alive and whole. But my mind reminds me of the agony that followed, of the shame and humiliation I endured in the aftermath of

the temptation, to give in to my heat and do what my body's urging

is that what I truly want? Or is it just the heat

I don't know.

don't know what

fate or by the expectations of others. I can choose my own path, my own

a choice, it

or choose Clayton. Hurry. He's almost there.

the shower stall. The icy water cascades over my body, but it does nothing to quell the searing flames that lick at my insides. I'm already struggling to think, going in circles, and I can't leave the water to warn

can't do this. Why does this stupid

Selene says. He's almost there.

tremor wracks my frame as another wave of heat crashes over me, scorching every inch of my skin. I feel

on my voice, Selene says, her tone steady and reassuring. Breathe through it. Don't let the

in a ragged breath, trying to ground myself in Selene's words. But it's a losing battle. The

release. My body craves it, craves the touch of my alpha, craves

against the cool tiles, willing the chill to seep into my scorched skin. But it's no use. The heat is unrelenting, a raging

my mind conjuring his image unbidden.

his touch like a brand against my feverish flesh. The memory of our encounter in the garden flashes through my mind, vivid and torturous. The way he held me, the way he kissed me, the

lips as the need intensifies, coiling tight in my core. I crave his touch, his scent, his claiming. Every fiber of my being yearns for him, craves

down my body, my fingers diving

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