Chapter 174 Ava: Selene Isn't Human

Selene writhes against the bedspread, looking like a puppy chastised. She says these are our growing pains, and I'm too old to be throwing a tantrum like a pup.

She sounds so offended that I almost laugh.

Almost.

But I can feel the threat in her mental presence. If I dare to laugh now, I'll never hear the end of it.

So I focus on Vanessa, instead.

"Ava, listen. A wolf is not human. Our wolves think of ourselves first, and everyone else secondary. They're focused on power first, and results second. Not on the sacrifices. Results are what matter, and everything else will fall into place with them."

A soft, husky-like yowling bark comes out of Selene. That isn't true.

Isn't it?

Somehow, it feels very…

Don't you dare finish that thought. Selene snaps at the air. We also care about the sacrifices, and understand relationships become complicated when we do what needs to be done.

Vanessa watches me with a patient stare.

"Sorry. Selene was talking."

"I can see that." Her smile is faint. "They usually do, when we get this talk. But it's usually when we're pups, and it comes from our parents. This is the first wolves and the babes chat I've had with an adult."

Wolves and the babes?

That sounds so… adorable.

But I remember clearly what a 12-year-old wolf shifter is like. A voracious appetite, short temper, and a tendency towards sneaking around to get what they want.

Not very adorable.

"Look, Ava. Ultimately, the relationship wolves have with each other is not the same as humans have with each other. A wolf might understand why they were pushed aside, once all is said an done. They can accept these cases as they come, without detriment to their pack bond, knowing that the end result is the most important thing. But we," and she points between us, "are not like that.

If Lucas were to ghost you, how would you feel?"

That's easy. "Terrible." We've already lived through that.

"And if he did things behind your back, saying the entire time that it was what was best for you, and you just have to trust him?"

Seeing where she's going, I can't hold her gaze, lowering mine to the bedspread. It's soft, with a few threads loose, perfect to pluck while being forced to face hard truths. "I would feel awful. Like he doesn't trust me. Like our relationship isn't as strong as it should be." Thinking on it, on how I felt when I lived in what I felt were gilded cages, "And angry. I would definitely be angry."

Vanessa nods. "Now, have Selene answer that question, and think about it. I'm going to see what I can do to make this 'hare-brained' scheme of yours work."

* * *

walks stiff-legged to curl up under the window, flatly refusing to respond to

Vanessa's assessment of her Lycan psyche is

not, Selene huffs, sounding

"Mhm."

I get it. These

still doesn't feel like I really did

part of me that's horrified to think back on the last few

But more than that…

up at

knowing that you're putting yourself

"Selene."

twitch, but her

should go back. For

tonight. It has to be

if I'll make

in motion. I don't ask how, but

to make it there in time. Kellan alternates between calm and brooding, but there's a distinct

respect as Lucas' mate; he's never once looked at

difference, one that stabs into

wanted to attend the

sense of her emotions in the back of my head, and I can feel her waffling between frustration

to think about it, because Vanessa's words keep

wrong when

a simple concept, and yet it's changed something inside my head. Something that

the plane's engines fills my ears as I rest my head against the small oval window. These overwhelming thoughts and emotions threaten to drown

shove away all thoughts, my unfocused gaze drifting over the endless expanse of clouds. It's a beautiful sunset below

letting out

lives lost, and all I've really thought about is

important, but—I'm the

of

of a

only thing on my mind was independence. Of proving I didn't need anyone. Of my life in

Away from responsibility.

Away from reality.

She's important. But those people who lost their

They're important, too.

or

shifts uncomfortably, hearing every word of my

glass as he turns to look at the back of my head,

his opinion is, it's clearly not great. Vanessa was kind in how she approached me, and I have no idea what blunt words will come

worry about my hurt feelings when I'm on my way to a funeral, and yet my

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