Chapter 231 Ava: Water

The rune for water swims before my eyes, its curves and lines blurring as I try to focus. My mind, however, has other plans. It drifts to Vanessa, her soft smile as she spoke of Vester. The ache in her voice. The longing.

I know that feeling all too well now.

Lucas. Where is he? Is he safe? Is the pack safe? Do we have more funeral rites coming? Are people hurting?

Are our hospitals inundated?

Your brain is so loud I can't sleep, Selene's voice cuts through my spiraling thoughts.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Rolling my eyes at her nonexistent self, knowing she can feel it, I drawl mentally, Let me just turn down the volume on my anxiety for you. Wouldn't want to disturb your beauty rest.

Selene huffs, a sound somewhere between amusement and exasperation. Worrying about things you can't control is a waste of time. You'd be better off focusing on what's in front of you. The sooner you master this, the sooner we can leave.

She's right, of course. Doesn't make it any easier, but she's right. I take a deep breath, trying to center myself. "Okay, okay. You're right. Let's do this."

"Is it Selene?" Vanessa asks in amusement. "Whenever you talk to her, your entire face scrunches up."

Damn. Really? I've watched them all go a little vacant-eyed when they're talking to their wolves or pack members, but no one's ever screwed up their whole face to do it.

That's embarrassing.

Still, I nod. "Yeah. She's giving me a pep talk."

"You can do this, Ava. Look what you accomplished earlier today." Giving me two thumbs-up that couldn't be more cheesy if she tried, Vanessa grins. "I have faith in you."

Heat flushes in my cheeks. No matter how much care and attention I've been given in my time at Westwood, it still feels awkward and wrong to have someone so enthusiastic in their praise of me.

Good, too.

Really good.

few simple words and encouragement is a little scary. It reminds me a little of how I'd begun to feel a little like I should stay with Clayton, all because

a little more now—still not very much, but enough to recognize that he didn't exactly have any sinister designs to throw me back to my pack or anything—I can see how he was just an alpha struggling to do the right

like him, Selene murmurs. But he is not the one

No, he isn't.

toward him; the way I wanted to lean on him and rely on him? They're the same ones I feel toward Vanessa, who's been in my corner from the first moment we met. Someone

who's bonded to me. And aside from Lisa,

know who I was. And it's different from

expecting anything in return. I'm weak to that. I see that now, and it

those

to be smarter in the future. Make sure

Magister Orion isn't the best choice of teacher. Maybe being here in the Fae Ward itself is nothing

Selene says, affection from her coming through our bond to soothe my ragged mind. You're going

Right.

The magic.

I purge my head as best as I can, turning my

where I felt the fire magic, but when I reach for it, it's like hitting a wall. I push against it, trying to find a crack, a seam, anything.

that I need to open doesn't feel right. I tug at an imaginary handle, knock on its surface, even try to

Nothing.

My shoulders slump.

I'm just leaning against this invisible barrier now, too exhausted to keep fighting. My arms and legs shake with exhaustion,

burst of power, no flickering flame. Just the trembling of overexerted muscles

open my eyes, blinking away the spots dancing in my vision. The water rune sits there, mocking me with its stillness. I want to crumple it up and throw it across the

mutter, more to myself than to Selene. "Maybe

Selene chides. Magic isn't something you can force. It's

for you to say," I grumble. "You're not the one sitting here feeling like

the one watching you act like one, she retorts, but there's no

some of the tension easing from my

another deep breath, trying to shake off the frustration. Vanessa is still and silent in her corner, and I can't even feel her

than ever, I'm convinced she's

I'm approaching this all wrong. Fire came to me in a moment of intense emotion, a vivid memory.

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