Chapter 231 Ava: Water

The rune for water swims before my eyes, its curves and lines blurring as I try to focus. My mind, however, has other plans. It drifts to Vanessa, her soft smile as she spoke of Vester. The ache in her voice. The longing.

I know that feeling all too well now.

Lucas. Where is he? Is he safe? Is the pack safe? Do we have more funeral rites coming? Are people hurting?

Are our hospitals inundated?

Your brain is so loud I can't sleep, Selene's voice cuts through my spiraling thoughts.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Rolling my eyes at her nonexistent self, knowing she can feel it, I drawl mentally, Let me just turn down the volume on my anxiety for you. Wouldn't want to disturb your beauty rest.

Selene huffs, a sound somewhere between amusement and exasperation. Worrying about things you can't control is a waste of time. You'd be better off focusing on what's in front of you. The sooner you master this, the sooner we can leave.

She's right, of course. Doesn't make it any easier, but she's right. I take a deep breath, trying to center myself. "Okay, okay. You're right. Let's do this."

"Is it Selene?" Vanessa asks in amusement. "Whenever you talk to her, your entire face scrunches up."

Damn. Really? I've watched them all go a little vacant-eyed when they're talking to their wolves or pack members, but no one's ever screwed up their whole face to do it.

That's embarrassing.

Still, I nod. "Yeah. She's giving me a pep talk."

"You can do this, Ava. Look what you accomplished earlier today." Giving me two thumbs-up that couldn't be more cheesy if she tried, Vanessa grins. "I have faith in you."

Heat flushes in my cheeks. No matter how much care and attention I've been given in my time at Westwood, it still feels awkward and wrong to have someone so enthusiastic in their praise of me.

Good, too.

Really good.

that's brought about with a few simple words and encouragement is a little scary. It reminds me a little of how I'd begun to feel a little like

or anything—I can see how he was just an alpha struggling to do the right thing, and maybe a little too clouded by

murmurs. But he is not

No, he isn't.

him and rely on him? They're the same ones I feel toward Vanessa, who's been in my corner from the first moment we met. Someone who's willing to help me, to talk to me, to listen. To get to know my

me. And aside from Lisa, who—despite being

who I was. And it's different from

return. I'm weak to that. I see that now, and it only gets clearer by the

appreciating those who

be smarter in the future. Make sure I'm not trusting the wrong

to trust. Or maybe that Magister Orion isn't the best choice of teacher. Maybe being here in the Fae

to soothe my ragged mind. You're going through everything you can to avoid what's in front

Right.

The magic.

breath, I purge my head as best as I can, turning my attention back

with my eyes. There's that place deep inside me where I felt the fire magic, but when I reach for it, it's like hitting a wall.

to open doesn't feel right. I tug at an imaginary handle, knock on its surface,

Nothing.

My shoulders slump.

to keep fighting. My arms and legs shake with exhaustion, just like they did after I accessed the fire magic. But this time, I have nothing to show for

Just the trembling of overexerted muscles and

eyes, blinking away the spots dancing in my vision. The water rune sits there, mocking me with its stillness. I want to crumple it up and throw it across the room, but I resist

mutter, more to myself than to Selene. "Maybe

too easily, Selene chides. Magic isn't something you can force. It's about finding

you to say," I grumble. "You're not the one sitting

just the one watching you act like one, she retorts, but there's no

some of the tension easing from my shoulders as I let out a

and I can't even feel her

ever, I'm

I'm approaching this all wrong. Fire came to me in a moment of

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