Chapter 231 Ava: Water

The rune for water swims before my eyes, its curves and lines blurring as I try to focus. My mind, however, has other plans. It drifts to Vanessa, her soft smile as she spoke of Vester. The ache in her voice. The longing.

I know that feeling all too well now.

Lucas. Where is he? Is he safe? Is the pack safe? Do we have more funeral rites coming? Are people hurting?

Are our hospitals inundated?

Your brain is so loud I can't sleep, Selene's voice cuts through my spiraling thoughts.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Rolling my eyes at her nonexistent self, knowing she can feel it, I drawl mentally, Let me just turn down the volume on my anxiety for you. Wouldn't want to disturb your beauty rest.

Selene huffs, a sound somewhere between amusement and exasperation. Worrying about things you can't control is a waste of time. You'd be better off focusing on what's in front of you. The sooner you master this, the sooner we can leave.

She's right, of course. Doesn't make it any easier, but she's right. I take a deep breath, trying to center myself. "Okay, okay. You're right. Let's do this."

"Is it Selene?" Vanessa asks in amusement. "Whenever you talk to her, your entire face scrunches up."

Damn. Really? I've watched them all go a little vacant-eyed when they're talking to their wolves or pack members, but no one's ever screwed up their whole face to do it.

That's embarrassing.

Still, I nod. "Yeah. She's giving me a pep talk."

"You can do this, Ava. Look what you accomplished earlier today." Giving me two thumbs-up that couldn't be more cheesy if she tried, Vanessa grins. "I have faith in you."

Heat flushes in my cheeks. No matter how much care and attention I've been given in my time at Westwood, it still feels awkward and wrong to have someone so enthusiastic in their praise of me.

Good, too.

Really good.

my heart that's brought about with a few simple words and encouragement is a little scary. It reminds me a little of how I'd begun to feel a little like I should

pack or anything—I can see how he was just an alpha struggling to do the right thing, and maybe a little too clouded

like him, Selene murmurs. But he is not the one

No, he isn't.

way I wanted to lean on him and rely on him? They're the same ones I feel toward Vanessa, who's been in my corner from the first moment we met. Someone who's willing to help me, to talk to me, to listen. To get to know my thoughts and

from Lucas, who's bonded to me. And aside from Lisa, who—despite being my best friend—doesn't

didn't know who I was. And it's different

in return. I'm weak to that. I see that now, and it only gets clearer by the

in appreciating those who care for you, Selene

I'm going to need to be smarter in the future.

my heart ache at the thought that maybe Sister Miriam isn't the best person to trust. Or maybe that Magister Orion isn't the best choice of teacher. Maybe being here in the Fae Ward itself is nothing more than some

too many thoughts again, Selene says, affection from her coming through our bond to soothe my

Right.

The magic.

as I can, turning my attention back

I felt the fire magic, but when I reach for it, it's like hitting a wall. I push against it, trying to find a crack, a seam, anything. But there's

as a door that I need to open doesn't feel right. I tug at

Nothing.

My shoulders slump.

invisible barrier now, too exhausted to keep fighting. My arms and legs shake with exhaustion,

power, no flickering flame. Just the trembling of overexerted muscles and the bitter taste of

away the spots dancing in my vision. The water rune sits there, mocking me with its stillness. I want to crumple it up and throw it across the room, but I resist the urge.

pointless," I mutter, more to myself than to Selene. "Maybe I'm just a one-trick

too easily, Selene chides. Magic isn't something you can force. It's about finding the right flow,

grumble. "You're not the one sitting here feeling

just the one watching you act like one, she retorts, but there's no real

my shoulders

take another deep breath, trying to shake off the frustration. Vanessa is still and silent in her corner, and I can't even feel her gaze on me. She's probably looking anywhere except at me, knowing the stress

I'm convinced she's

to me in a moment of

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