Chapter 231 Ava: Water

The rune for water swims before my eyes, its curves and lines blurring as I try to focus. My mind, however, has other plans. It drifts to Vanessa, her soft smile as she spoke of Vester. The ache in her voice. The longing.

I know that feeling all too well now.

Lucas. Where is he? Is he safe? Is the pack safe? Do we have more funeral rites coming? Are people hurting?

Are our hospitals inundated?

Your brain is so loud I can't sleep, Selene's voice cuts through my spiraling thoughts.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Rolling my eyes at her nonexistent self, knowing she can feel it, I drawl mentally, Let me just turn down the volume on my anxiety for you. Wouldn't want to disturb your beauty rest.

Selene huffs, a sound somewhere between amusement and exasperation. Worrying about things you can't control is a waste of time. You'd be better off focusing on what's in front of you. The sooner you master this, the sooner we can leave.

She's right, of course. Doesn't make it any easier, but she's right. I take a deep breath, trying to center myself. "Okay, okay. You're right. Let's do this."

"Is it Selene?" Vanessa asks in amusement. "Whenever you talk to her, your entire face scrunches up."

Damn. Really? I've watched them all go a little vacant-eyed when they're talking to their wolves or pack members, but no one's ever screwed up their whole face to do it.

That's embarrassing.

Still, I nod. "Yeah. She's giving me a pep talk."

"You can do this, Ava. Look what you accomplished earlier today." Giving me two thumbs-up that couldn't be more cheesy if she tried, Vanessa grins. "I have faith in you."

Heat flushes in my cheeks. No matter how much care and attention I've been given in my time at Westwood, it still feels awkward and wrong to have someone so enthusiastic in their praise of me.

Good, too.

Really good.

of how I'd begun to feel a little like I should stay with Clayton, all because

not very much, but enough to recognize that he didn't exactly have any sinister designs to throw me back to my pack or anything—I can see how he was just an alpha struggling to do the right thing, and

murmurs. But he is not

No, he isn't.

toward Vanessa, who's been in my corner from the first moment we met. Someone who's willing to help me, to talk to me, to listen. To get to know my thoughts

aside from Lucas, who's bonded to me. And aside from Lisa, who—despite being

was.

weak to that. I see that now,

those who care for you, Selene

smarter in the future. Make sure I'm not trusting the wrong people, all

best person to trust. Or maybe that Magister Orion isn't the best choice of teacher. Maybe being here in the Fae Ward itself is nothing more

through our bond to soothe my ragged mind. You're going through everything you can to avoid what's in front

Right.

The magic.

a deep breath, I purge my head as best as I

with my eyes. There's that place deep inside me where I felt the fire magic, but when I reach for it, it's like hitting a wall. I push against it, trying to find a crack, a

now? Visualizing the magic as a door that I need to open doesn't feel right. I tug at an imaginary handle, knock on its surface, even try to kick it down in my

Nothing.

My shoulders slump.

like I'm just leaning against this invisible barrier now, too exhausted to keep fighting. My arms and legs shake with exhaustion, just like they did after I accessed the fire magic. But this time,

flame. Just the trembling of overexerted muscles and the bitter

me with its stillness. I want to crumple

pointless," I mutter, more to myself than to Selene. "Maybe I'm

giving up too easily, Selene chides. Magic isn't something you can force. It's about

grumble. "You're not the

the one watching you act like one, she retorts, but there's no real bite

curve, some of the tension easing from my shoulders as I let

breath, trying to shake off the frustration. Vanessa is still and silent in her corner, and I can't even feel her gaze on me. She's probably looking anywhere except at me, knowing the stress her regard would put

than ever, I'm convinced she's

this all wrong. Fire came to me in a moment of

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