Chapter 231 Ava: Water

The rune for water swims before my eyes, its curves and lines blurring as I try to focus. My mind, however, has other plans. It drifts to Vanessa, her soft smile as she spoke of Vester. The ache in her voice. The longing.

I know that feeling all too well now.

Lucas. Where is he? Is he safe? Is the pack safe? Do we have more funeral rites coming? Are people hurting?

Are our hospitals inundated?

Your brain is so loud I can't sleep, Selene's voice cuts through my spiraling thoughts.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Rolling my eyes at her nonexistent self, knowing she can feel it, I drawl mentally, Let me just turn down the volume on my anxiety for you. Wouldn't want to disturb your beauty rest.

Selene huffs, a sound somewhere between amusement and exasperation. Worrying about things you can't control is a waste of time. You'd be better off focusing on what's in front of you. The sooner you master this, the sooner we can leave.

She's right, of course. Doesn't make it any easier, but she's right. I take a deep breath, trying to center myself. "Okay, okay. You're right. Let's do this."

"Is it Selene?" Vanessa asks in amusement. "Whenever you talk to her, your entire face scrunches up."

Damn. Really? I've watched them all go a little vacant-eyed when they're talking to their wolves or pack members, but no one's ever screwed up their whole face to do it.

That's embarrassing.

Still, I nod. "Yeah. She's giving me a pep talk."

"You can do this, Ava. Look what you accomplished earlier today." Giving me two thumbs-up that couldn't be more cheesy if she tried, Vanessa grins. "I have faith in you."

Heat flushes in my cheeks. No matter how much care and attention I've been given in my time at Westwood, it still feels awkward and wrong to have someone so enthusiastic in their praise of me.

Good, too.

Really good.

with a few simple words and encouragement is a little scary. It reminds me a little of how I'd begun to feel a little like I should stay with Clayton, all because he was kind

exactly have any sinister designs to throw me back to my pack or anything—I can

he is not the one who stirs your heart,

No, he isn't.

who's been in my corner from the first moment we met. Someone who's willing to help me, to talk to me, to listen. To get to know my thoughts and feelings. Someone who cares

And aside from Lisa,

Elkins, who didn't know who I was. And it's different from Selene, who's

expecting anything in return. I'm weak to that. I see

wrong in appreciating those who care

me. I'm going to need to be smarter in the future. Make

thought that maybe Sister Miriam isn't the best person to trust. Or maybe that Magister

again, Selene says, affection from her coming through our bond to soothe my ragged mind. You're going through everything you can

Right.

The magic.

head as best as I

felt the fire magic, but when I reach for it, it's like hitting a wall. I push against it, trying to find a crack, a seam, anything. But there's nothing. Just like

magic as a door that I need to open doesn't feel

Nothing.

My shoulders slump.

feels like I'm just leaning against this invisible barrier now, too exhausted to keep fighting. My arms and legs shake with exhaustion, just like they did after I accessed the fire magic. But this time, I have

flickering flame. Just the trembling of overexerted muscles and the bitter taste

blinking away the spots dancing in my vision. The water rune sits there, mocking me with its stillness. I want to crumple it up and throw it across the room,

is pointless," I mutter, more to myself than to Selene. "Maybe I'm just a

isn't something you can force. It's about finding the

to say," I grumble. "You're not the one sitting here feeling like

you act like one, she retorts, but there's

tension easing from my shoulders as I let out

frustration. Vanessa is still and silent in her corner, and I can't even feel her

I'm

it again, maybe I'm approaching this all wrong. Fire came to me in a moment of intense emotion, a vivid

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